Lucy Kellaway



Profile: Timeline view
Full name: Lucy Kellaway (see also Martin Lukes)

Area of interest: Management

Journals/Organisation: Financial Times

Email: [mailto:lucy.kellaway@ft.com lucy.kellaway@ft.com]

Personal website:

Website: FT.com: http://www.ft.com/management/lucy-kellaway

Blog: FT.com: http://blogs.ft.com/dearlucy

Representation: Aitken Alexander Associates | Personally speaking...

Networks: https://twitter.com/#!/lucykellaway



Biography:
About:

Education: Camden School for Girls; Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford University: Philosophy, Politics and Economics

Career: Currency dealer; Investors Chronicle, 1983, joined FT 1985: FT: Companies reporter, 1985; Oil correspondent, 1986; Lex columnist, 1988; Brussels correspondent, 1989; feature writer, 1992; Columnist and interviewer (business people and celebrities for the Lunch with the FT series), 1994-

Current position/role: Management columnist


 * also writes/has written for: The Irish Times - weekly management column

Other roles/Main role: Appointed a non-executive Director of the Insurance Company Admiral plc, 2006

Other activities:

Disclosures:

Viewpoints/Insight: Lucy Kellaway: My Life In Media, The Independent, 24th July 2006

Broadcast media: http://podcast.ft.com/index.php?sid=18

Video:

Controversy/Criticism: Marketplace: Lying is essential to doing business - Publicradio.org, April 2007

Awards/Honours:
 * Wincott Young Financial Journalist Award, 1984
 * Industrial Society WorkWorld Award (won twice)
 * Columnist of the Year: British Press Awards, 2006

Scoops:

Other: Married to Prospect magazine founder and editor, David Goodhart



Books & Debate:

 * The answers: all the office questions you never dared to ask OCLC 228776673, 2007
 * Martin Lukes: who moved my BlackBerry™ OCLC 62172875, 2006
 * Sense and nonsense in the office OCLC 44402399, 2000

Latest work: In office hours (£12.99, Fig Tree) is published on May 6 2010. Extract here

Speaking/Appearances: Personally speaking...

Current debate:FT.com online forum - share your views on a Lucy Kellaway column 

Financial Times:
Column name: Lucy Kellaway

Remit/Info: "For the last ten years her weekly Monday column has poked fun at management fads and jargon and celebrated the ups and downs of office life." - FT.com (n.b. column formerly called 'Lucy Kellaway on Management')

Section: Business life

Role: Columnist / Associate editor

Pen-name:

Email: [mailto:lucy.kellaway@ft.com lucy.kellaway@ft.com]

Website: FT.Com and online forum

Commissioning Editor:

Day published: Monday (in print)

Regularity: Weekly

Column format:

Average length: 900 words



Articles: 2014

 * Small talk makes a big difference - If you don’t chat, people don’t like you much. So if women keep quiet at work, it matters - 17th February
 * Success tips from Eton and a Tiger Mum - Now we know why so many dyslexics and people who lost a parent young make it to the top - 10th February
 * Colleagues and bosses are not your family - The idea that employees are part of one big, corporate family is delusional - 3rd February
 * I want to put my office on a new diet - I am ditching al desko lunches. Anticipation, ritual and smugness point the way ahead - 27th January
 * Cheer up, this is a golden age for office workers - For privileged professionals at least, working life is better than it has ever been - 20th January
 * Men should get over loss of face - Women may be more resilient, as we don’t take minor slights as a heinous attack on our egos - 13th January
 * Gongs for the year’s greatest guff - All winners of the 2013 Golden Flannel Awards are exceptional, original, giants of jargon - 6th January



Articles: 2013

 * More turkeys than crackers in the post - Jamie Dimon’s holiday display of over-the-top happiness sets my less than perfect teeth on edge - 23rd December
 * Hair is a feminist issue - The world’s most successful business women have impeccable hairdos - 16th December
 * Five Twitter bio clichés to avoid - Laboured quirkiness is common and Stephen Fry may be to blame with his ‘Prince of Swimwear’ - 9th December
 * I am 54 and a half – how old are you? - Whenever I interview anyone, I do not consider I’ve done the job properly unless I slip in how old they are - 2nd December
 * It is better to be a cokehead than a blockhead - To eradicate those truly unsuited to office we need random checks on their level of knowledge - 25th November
 * Ups and downs of taking the stairs - If people used the stairs, we would be deprived of the office equivalent of behind the bike shed - 18th November
 * Why it is clever to pretend to be stupid - Disarm others, make them forget you are scarily powerful and lull them into liking you - 11th November
 * The bike test shows what I’m like at work - Bosses can learn much by watching a prospective employee on a bicycle - 4th November
 * Nine valuable lessons from rubbish jobs - A diet of drudgery in a takeaway might seem wholesome but it does open the eye to better things - 28th October
 * Distraction beats doctors for back pain - Germany, strong enough to carry southern Europe on its back, stays home at the slightest twinge - 21st October
 * Competence beats confidence every time - It’s all very well thinking we are good at what we do but it’s better to try to be good at it - 14th October
 * Small is beautiful - Malcolm Gladwell’s study of unlikely victors, ‘David and Goliath’, is his most enjoyable book yet - 7th October
 * Ryanair feels force of face-to-face protest - To bring about change, it is criticism delivered in person by random strangers that counts - 30th September
 * Global business has led to greeting hell - Welcoming gestures require global regulation to spare us crushing embarrassment - 23rd September
 * Compliments are best made in private - On praise, the experts have got it wrong: it should almost never be given in public - 16th September
 * The shoe shop, the walkout and the online fallout - There is little to suggest that viral revenge leaves any lasting marks on target companies - 9th September
 * A cure for the pangs of cyber comparisons - Gauging yourself against others is a nasty drip-drip of poison into the bloodstream - 2nd September
 * Working all hours is a poor use of time - It is a mystery why the banks inflict a working day on employees that exhausts them - 26th August
 * LinkedIn should look for Girl Guidance - Both skill inflation and sucking up are rampant on the social network - 19th August
 * Bezos is a disrupter, only not at home - The vitamins-socks-wife combo was not quite Watergate but hints at something slightly creepy - 12th August
 * Abuse of language keeps going forward - Talking like a regular human being does not guarantee success - 5th August
 * Ibiza, fantasy island - With leather beds and €25,000 bottles of champagne, Ibiza’s new Nikki Beach is where the plutocrats go to party. But it’s just one face of Europe’s most diverse summer hotspot - 29th July
 * With jobs, make sure it pays to play - To value yourself at nothing should make you feel very bad indeed - 22nd July
 * Words that say ‘do not open this email’ - If the message is from someone you like you don’t need a subject line at all - 15th July
 * How the Stones keep time on their side - The stubbornly enduring group stays that way by flouting the rules in every success manual - 8th July
 * The caffeine buzz of hot-desking in a coffee shop - A ‘tall’ beige milk comes with unlimited table, chair and WiFi – but my back is killing me - 1st July
 * The New Lady of Threadneedle Street - The position of chief operating officer signals a sad succumbing to the language of corporate America - 24th June
 * A cup of tea is most engaging - People may come to dislike their jobs a little less, but seldom learn to love them - 17th June
 * Wake up! Time for a good night’s sleep - Sleeplessness is the biggest reason for me turning up crabby and inefficient in the mornings - 10th June
 * Clearing your email is no act of virtue - I have no folders, no system. That is because I don’t need one - 3rd June
 * Graduates need a dose of reality - Students need not change the world – getting a job will be an achievement - 27th May
 * A meeting by any other name - Calling it a summit, forum or ideas exchange doesn’t make a gathering any more important - 20th May
 * Grades don’t make the grade at the office - My test shows that those with firsts are neither better nor worse than those with seconds - 13th May
 * Bad is the new good – except it isn’t - The craze for taking something we all think is bad and telling us that it’s good is crazy - 6th May
 * Don’t hate winners because they’re beautiful - Studies show appearance counts for a lot but basing decisions on looks may not be good business - 29th April
 * Elevator gossip rarely rises above the dull - The average office worker never relaxes in the lift - 22nd April
 * Worker bees should be left to bumble - All this stuff about employee engagement is nonsense - 15th April
 * The corporate world is rich in April Fools - The festival of tomfoolery has a hard act to follow in view of the show provided by business - 1st April
 * I’m still puzzling over my dream job - A survey showing that teenagers in Britain want to pursue the ‘wrong’ careers was pointless - 25th March
 * Facebook’s offices are too cool for women - In insisting on a chilly conference room, Mark Zuckerberg is exhibiting dotcom dogmatism - 18th March
 * Worrying over your worth has no value - No one complains about earning too much - 11th March
 * Office propositions are no clear-cut issue - Now is the time to break my silence and tell my story of being sexually harassed at work - 4th March
 * I can’t stop my cyber loafing - We need the equivalent of the stocks to persuade people to get off the net and get on with their work - 25th February
 * Switzerland without skis - Two decades after her last – disastrous – ski holiday, Lucy Kellaway returns to the Alps to visit a remote hamlet reinvented as a luxurious retreat for those who love mountains, but not falling over - 23rd February
 * Finally I’ve found some good corporate guff - J&J’s ‘Our Credo’ got me excited. Alas, since it was written in 1943 there has been some slippage - 18th February
 * End of the line for the landline - The death of the old-style phone may help us individually but it loosens the bonds between us - 11th February
 * Wanted: a user’s guide to every boss - If everybody knows what their manager’s little ways are, it is better all round - 4th February
 * Brought round to the benefits of boarding - Not much emotional development goes on at home when both parents work and the Xbox rules - 2nd February
 * The risk addicts - City traders are used to risk-taking in their day jobs.t But for some, this leads to a pathological gambling addiction that destroys lives. Lucy Kellaway reports from the frontline of treatment - 2nd February
 * If I outsourced my work, would you care? - The only risk is that the boss gets wind of the arrangement and cuts out the middleman - 28th January
 * Take a stand on being more productive - Sitting is the new smoking. It makes you fat and then it kills you - 21st January
 * Bosses fail the 10-year-old test - A CEO ought to be able to explain what he does in a way a child can grasp - 14th January
 * The first word in mangled meanings - Bosses have been rampant in the world of bull - 7th January



Articles: 2012

 * Lighting up has its benefits, too - We have forgotten that smoking was a useful ritual - 31st December
 * It’s time to stop stressing about stress - It is quite wrong to think about it as the enemy - 17th December
 * Fatherhood is no degree in management - Lessons learnt from family life can pay off at work - 10th December
 * Genius explained, with help from Mozart - Unfortunately, in true life, we can’t all be brilliant - 6th December
 * Why I’m proud to have no Klout - It is a nonsense to boil down something as qualitative as influence into a single number - 3rd December
 * Heard the one about women at the office? - If laughter varies with gender, it varies even more with power - 26th November
 * Starbucks’ tea takeover is a grande of guff - The ubiquitous coffee chain cannot be forgiven for the way it grinds out its message - 19th November
 * Marriages and jobs require work and love - When it comes to the quest for the perfect match, it helps to keep your expectations real - 12th November
 * Time-wasting tips have wasted my time - Apparently, a game of ‘Angry Birds’ is good for us - 5th November
 * New workers want the same things we did - For graduate trainees, nothing of any importance in the world of work has changed in 30 years - 21st October
 * Embrace the network effect - Alumni connections are not a problem at all – in fact they are a thoroughly good thing - 16th October
 * Are you sitting uncomfortably? - Katie Roiphe’s somehow agreeable essays in ‘In Praise of Messy Lives’ succeed in provoking, angering and embarrassing - 13th October
 * Game theory - What happens when someone who had never played video games is chosen as a judge for some gaming awards? - 13th October
 * The question with interviews is why we bother - Study after study shows an interview is not much better than picking people at random - 8th October
 * A rifle through my colleagues’ drawers - It’s not just the objects that are telling – it’s the juxtaposition - 1st October
 * For creativity, forget the funky office - With design so overbearing at Google’s London HQ, the individual can’t get a look in - 24th September
 * Road test CEOs to avoid corporate crashes - Top executives shouldtake an annual hubris test - 17th September
 * Good enough is better than perfection - A hunger for faultlessness is grotesque - 10th September
 * Why I can’t ‘like’ Facebook popularity contest - The joke should be on the even more stupid people who voice their approval in their millions - 3rd September
 * The spy who loved me - Ian McEwan’s ‘Sweet Tooth’ is a rich, multi-layered espionage novel of writers and spies and stories inside stories - 18th August
 * I was wrong: the Olympics make the office blissful - The games add a new dimension to work - 6th August
 * Jobs, motherhood and varieties of wrong - There is no balance. It’s a continuous, fluid game of survival, the rules of which are unclear - 30th July
 * London’s Olympics are a workers’ curse - To stage this festival of sporting competitiveness every other sort of competition is being stifled - 23rd July
 * Why do we believe we get what we pay for? - More expensive does not necessarily mean better - 16th July
 * Burberry chief’s top mix of brand and bunkum - Angela Ahrendts’ language meets the most important criterion for jargon – it is utterly impenetrable - 9th July
 * Ball boys demonstrate power of training - Wimbledon’s teenage volunteer training has produced strong results - 2nd July
 * Don’t aim for the top unless you feel lucky - We can study Bill Gates all we like but we’re not going to end up where he is - 25th June
 * The thin line between thick skin and complacency - It is a CEO’s job to take things very personally - 18th June
 * Manual work holds the key to spiritual bliss - Upholstery has shown me that losing yourself is a far better idea than finding yourself - 4th June
 * A dose of dullness is good for business - Being boring is no barrier to great leadership - 28th May
 * Beware the wild management consultants - The story of Bain and the buffalo makes one question business travel more than ever - 21st May
 * Small mistakes attract the biggest trouble - Smart people will always make stupid errors - 14th May
 * My logo obsession is more than a game - Our stock of brands is so ingrained that they have become part of who we are - 7th May
 * Affiliations matter more than achievement - The ambitious should go for prestige every time - 23rd April
 * Break bad habits and you’ll deliver profits - No amount of huddles will crack Royal Mail’s rubber band problem - 16th April
 * The female of the species is more scary than the male - Successful women are more frightening than men - 2nd April
 * Online life can teach us about the office - Virtual working might one day happen properly - 26th March
 * The perils of parting shots - Why listening to departing employees is foolish - 19th March
 * Women’s inequality isn’t what it used to be - There is no further need for bellyaching. Better causes can be found to fight - 12th March
 * Office tittle-tattle makes having a job a pleasure - Gossip is the thing that unites us even in hard times - 5th March
 * Meetings of minds are effectively a tool for dulling them - I’d always thought working alone was the best way to get things done - and now I have the proof - 27th February
 * The fine art of penning your own ‘brief bio’ - Eight rules for this trickiest of literary genres - 20th February
 * Stephen Hester deserves a bonus for good language - Last week the chief executive of RBS wrote to staff in a way that was more or less straight – and more or less motivational - 12th February
 * UBS’s silly menu leaves a bad taste in the mouth - It is time to worry when companies write witless things and then hand them to their customers - 6th February
 * The best I can do for today’s youth is quit - In almost all professions, the young can’t advance because everywhere they find my complacent generation is in situ - 30th January
 * If you have to reject me, tell me straight - No one appreciates hollow good wishes from someone who is telling them to shove off - 23rd January
 * If you want adult behaviour, treat people like babies - Imposing an arbitrary structure on adults may be less alien than it sounds; history suggests humans rather like it - 16th January
 * And the winners of 2011’s guff awards are... - There is an economic law that says all markets are cyclical save one: the bullshit market, which knows only the bull phase - 9th January
 * The FT’s management columnist names a trip to China and finally learning how to say no as high points of her year - On this day every year I make my family take part in a little ritual. Each person has to think about the year just ending and name a couple of highs and lows from it, possibly along with something that they’ve learnt - 3rd January



Articles: 2011

 * Christmas and work are a turkey of a combination - We may have all finally reached the only sensible conclusion about Christmas in the office: it doesn’t work - 19th December
 * Social networks upend office etiquette - What is acceptable and what is shameless? The answer is that no one has the foggiest – we are all making it up as we go along - 12th December
 * Money’s too tight to mention if you have lots of it - It is surprisingly hard to be good at having money – harder than acquiring it in the first place. The perfect amount of money is when you hardly have to think about it at all - 5th December
 * We all deserve to be told the terrible truth - ‘Protected conversations’ between employees and bosses are a good idea but they won’t make any difference in practice - 28th November
 * Stick to the rules and abusing your colleagues is OK - So long as top people in the City are continuing to behave in an uncivilised fashion, the world as we know it isn’t coming to an end - 14th November
 * Copying, the mother of the best inventions - No one seems interested in teaching us how to get better at mimicry, despite it being the key to success - 7th November
 * Management guff lands in China - When the guff germ arrives big time in China, my prediction is that they will be better at dealing with it than westerners - 24th October
 * BlackBerry blackout left me happily unlinked - Most email messages are exceedingly stupid, and none more so than the ones that arrive from LinkedIn - 17th October
 * Everyone benefits from a beast in the boardroom - All companies need someone on board who stirs things up and couldn’t care less what people think, just don’t confuse it with ego - 10th October
 * Pretenders to power are the most dangerous - Power may corrupt, but absolute power corrupts much less than partial power – as too many lower down the pecking order show - 25th September
 * My cure for an outbreak of weak excuse tendency - Sufferers from WET aren’t skiving or lying; they just have an inadequate notion of what it means to be reliable - 19th September
 * Bartz flubs her lines as she leaves the Yahoo stage - Watching the former chief executive go down spitting obscenities was exhilarating in an immediate sort of way, but it also confirmed at least four of my most deeply held prejudices about life, work and language - 12th September
 * Do teddies have a place in the boardroom? - Research from an expert in ethics at Harvard University suggests people behave better when teddy bears are in the room - 5th September
 * Googler’s ‘amazing’ clichés are dull and void'' - Larry Page’s thinking on his decision to spend $12.5bn on some mobile handsets, patents and set-top boxes is woolly at best - 22nd August
 * bonds make the office tick'' - The idea of working exclusively with people my own age is loathsome to me: it would be like going back to school - 15th August
 * little words and one very big question'' - It’s good sometimes to wonder what keeps you in your job; the tight word limit makes waffle and pretentiousness out of bounds - 8th August
 * off and stay on through worlidays'' - A bit like holiday and a bit like work, worlidays are the future for most professional workers, and they are really rather nice - 1st August
 * next problem: Is being a full-time mum diminishing?'' - What worries me is how much of my esteem is tied up in the idea of my job as a lawyer and not as a mother - 25th July
 * revolutionaries unite'' - The ubiquitous piece of software can leave one feeling grumpy and passive and in no frame of mind for proper work - 18th July
 * love and corporate idiocy'' - When the new head of Tesco in the UK said he wanted staff to love customers, I followed up by visiting my local store - 11th July
 * to those with a half-empty glass'' - In business, optimism is good and pessimism bad – but now pessimism may be coming back to the mainstream - 4th July
 * got mail but you need to get your life back'' - People may agree to the e-mail charter in theory, but I very much doubt if they will manage to change their bad habits - 27th June
 * to happiness runs through the office'' - It is a terrific relief to find that the true path to happiness involves doing what most of us do most of the time, whether we like it or not – work - 13th June
 * contract is not worth the kilobytes'' - Legal disclaimers on e-mails are not only unenforced but unenforceable – making one wonder why they are so popula - 6th June
 * wonders worked by womanhood'' - Lagarde is right to play the female card – this is the best time there has been to be a woman with talent, charm, and an appetite for advancement - 30th May
 * the offer, I won’t fill in for DSK'' - I don’t like the idea of deputising for someone who was sorting out the financial crisis and might have been president of France - 23rd May
 * need to fret over no-show shareholders'' - If no one turns up to an AGM, it doesn’t mean that the whole exercise is pointless, it means that it is not paying its directors too much or polluting too many rivers - 16th May
 * I remember my kids’ ages just to log on?'' - In the early days of computers I never forgot my password because the top secret word I’d chosen was ‘Kellaway’, which I found could be effortlessly recalled even in the most fraught moments - 9th May
 * dull names of those who rose'' - Research shows that with CEOs overwhelmingly having boring first names, the drearier the moniker, the greater the success – and that diversity is bunkum - 2nd May
 * ordinary Guy'' - He won a place at Oxford because they thought he was different. Lucy Kellaway meets financier and investor Guy Hands, who, despite losing control of EMI, has lost none of his confidence - 25th April
 * is in the detail with CEO pay'' - The reams of justification for executive remuneration are mind-numbing and likely to make one succumb through sheer weariness - 18th April
 * might be a total genius, but I won’t tell you'' - Even though I prefer to have genius status granted for big things, I’m prepared to accept it for any achievement at all, even for pressing send on my computer - 11th April
 * to cure our smartphone sicknesses'' - Small devices are more dangerous because we have no scruples about their use at all – when I have a BlackBerry in my hand, I suspend all normal rules of politeness - 4th April
 * is on the wall for ‘customer care’'' - A letter posted on a lavatory wall to amuse with its verbosity highlights the deficiencies of another missive by a virtuoso at apology – and guff - 28th March
 * rekindles fondness for western ways'' - In accepting the invitation to go on a debating tour, I had expected to return with a mind full of management ideas and a suitcase full of rip-off handbags - 21st March
 * leaders are worse than they think'' - When it comes to describing their dark sides, leaders feel bound by one rule: any weakness is perfectly admissible, so long as it is really a strength - 14th March
 * and paper: the forgotten management tool'' - Handwritten thank-yous are so thoroughly effective as a way of making other people feel good, it is mad that no one writes them anymore - 7th March
 * quotas would target the wrong women'' - If you are reading this column during office hours on Monday, you can think of me sitting at a large table engaged in deep discussion about dividends, internal controls and appetites for risk - 28th February
 * to be America’s Next Top Student'' - Tyra Banks’ trip to Harvard Business School may be inspired by a fear that there is something she’s missed out on, but she should beware of lessons in vacuousness - 21st February
 * like a loser and you might win'' - Most employees are fed on a never-ending diet of flannel, so when they are dished up a helping of stark truth, the effect can be invigorating and galvanising - 14th February
 * banks, a conman and a homeless bloke'' - Two stories in the papers about bankers being taken for a ride by conmen and nutters were profoundly enjoyable – seeing investment bankers with egg on their faces is always cheering - 7th February
 * good employer offers more than Botox'' - The problem with Fortune’s workplace rankings are that they make an extremely simple thing seem fantastically complicated - 31st January
 * conditions should not apply'' - Internet consumers should not have to read six pages of nonsense each time they buy something – what matters should be in plain language on the first page - 24th January
 * lesson on principles for Goldman'' - The bank has much to learn from a retailer in Finland which has a more concise and honest set of stated ideals than its pithy and often boastful offering - 17th January
 * awards for management guff'' - Every year I observe that the quality of the jargon has been the best yet, but in 2010 it was so outstandingly good it has shifted every paradigm in the book - 10th January



Articles: 2010

 * to waste time at the office'' - Companies are groups of people and in order to thrive they need to spend an inordinately large amount of time holed up together - 20th December
 * memos divided by understanding'' - Christmas is the ime for bad tidings as well as good – and there is a proper way to deliver them and that does not mean a volley of ‘visions’, ‘goals’ and ‘objectives’ - 13th December
 * glimpse of ambassadorial life'' - The world has become over-run with ambassadors. If WikiLeaks had seized all the e-mails of everyone with this title the volume of traffic would have caused the site to crash - 6th December
 * to save face than look in the mirror'' - When it comes to our performance at work, blithe indifference can beat the cold light of truth - 29th November
 * the glass ceiling at home'' - The lesson for a future corporate queen is to give more thought to her choice of spouse - 22nd November
 * give hiring a moment’s notice'' - Lucy Kellaway considers the idea that companies would be no more worse off if job promotion was left to chance. It worked for ancient Greece after all - 15th November
 * happy is a serious handicap'' - Lucy Kellaway examines a problem that is increasingly common among boys who have been blessed by fortune: if life is agreeable as it is, why lift a finger to change it? - 7th November
 * thief, his victim and the company laptop'' - The only problem with losing stuff is not that harm is done, it is that people fear that harm will be done and the loss does not look pretty in the papers - 1st November
 * ceiling in management drivel is broken'' - It is usually men who talk more management nonsense, but Lucy Kellaway finds they are no longer the only ones capable of talking guff - 25th October
 * on, give us a smile'' - Lucy Kellaway attempts to coax a smile out of the entrepreneur and television star as she talks to him about the coalition government, Amstrad’s demise and Americans - 23rd October
 * to customers can be bad business'' - Management accepting humiliation in order to satisfy customers seems like a good thing but Gap’s climbdown on its new logo is feeble - 18th October
 * need more CEOs willing to speak out'' - Everyone lives in mortal dread of getting into trouble – CEOs are all shacked up together in a glass house in which no stones ever get thrown - 11th October
 * posing and flattery beat an MBA any day'' - To make it, you simply have to fake it - 4th October
 * to spit out more praise for Apple'' - The exchange between Steve Jobs and Chelsea Isaacs prompts Lucy Kellaway to congratulate him on his clarity, tetchiness and for being completely in the right - 27th September
 * to describe the glory of Apple'' - The company has discovered something others have forgotten: language can be beautiful and easy to use - 20th September
 * CEOs cry all the way to the bank'' - Toddlers, apparently, are not negative role models but have the perfect range of skills to run public companies - 13th September
 * is no way to manage a smelly mess'' - An offhand comment on the site by a well-known smart alec triggers corporate overkill from Starbucks - 6th September
 * life has invaded the office'' - The only thing people choose not to do at work these days is give birth - 30th August
 * a glass to lust and liquor at work'' - In today’s offices, our laces are now pulled too tight; so tight, in fact, that they are cutting off the oxygen to people’s heads - 16th August
 * financiers are leaders in drivel'' - The management drivel that we are familiar with comes from corporate bosses who are wage slaves and whose words are, therefore, fettered. These guys are so rich they feel no restraining influences - 2nd August
 * dud is key to office harmony'' - Rather than damaging performance, an underachieving colleague or manager can improve morale and teach us a lot about the nature of our workplace - 19th July
 * time to sack job appraisals'' - Performance reviews are of little or no value for employees and allow managers to delude themselves into thinking they are managing their people - 12th July
 * just dress down on Fridays'' - All governments are looking for ways big and small to cut spending. But there is a better way that no one has yet considered: cut Fridays - 6th July
 * to kick the gender gap into touch'' - There is only one clear difference between men and women managers: women are less likely to put their feet in their mouths - 28th June
 * is the company we all love to hate'' - A slick of corporate hatred is spreading even further and more uncontrollably than the slick of oil - 28th June
 * self-help guide for Tesco’s retiring CEO'' - Quitting while ahead was a masterstroke, but the leap into the unknown might take a bit of managing: there are some definite don’ts - 14th June
 * road to the top is paved with good lies'' - Modest lying is not bad; indeed it is absolutely essential to get through a day in the office - 7th June
 * for living we could do without'' - Ray Dalio, Bridgewater’s chief, is deluded, insensitive, emotionally illiterate, simplistic, breathtakingly smug, weird and plain wrong with his top 300 rules for life - 24th May
 * the FSA comes calling...'' - A summons to a 90-minute interview with the regulator sent me reeling through the stages of grief - 17th May
 * the little things we should fret about'' - One of the comedies of working life is pretending to care about the big things - 10th May
 * Fab is far scarier than you think'' - Is Fabrice Tourre one of the most boastful men in the world, or is the Goldman Sachs trader a man who looks dispassionately at himself and is well aware of his weaknesses? - 4th May
 * Kellaway on office romance'' - It’s easy to see why offices are Petri dishes in which jargon grows, but it isn’t so obvious why they are also the perfect breeding ground for sex and love - 1st May
 * cloud helped productivity'' - It was miraculous what the volcano did to conferences, meetings and business trips - 26th April
 * joys of long service'' - Does 25 years at this paper make me a disgrace? - 19th April
 * I don’t care about online reputation'' - There’s no point trying to manage your reputation on the internet any more – it’s too late - 5th April
 * first law of success: a big lucky break'' - Most successful people have had big lucky breaks at birth and a succession of smaller ones thereafter - 30th March
 * game plays out on Facebook'' - This gap between the Facebook/non-Facebook generation is wider than the gap between my generation and our parents - 22nd March
 * can’t always get what you want'' - The current trend of using rock bands as models for business school study is deeply flawed - 15th March
 * feedback forms leave me fed up'' - The wrong questions are asked at the wrong time to people who generally are in no frame of mind to answer them properly - 8th March
 * corporate calendar that is so last year'' - ‘A client a day’ makes no sense at all, especially in a business where people often work with the same client for months on end - 1st March
 * insensitive bosses make more sense'' - This is the single most sensible word I’ve seen on the flabby subject of leadership in at least a decade - 13th February
 * new motto: Nomina Rutrum Rutrum'' - Latin gives oomph, partly because it lends an air of learning but also because most people have to look it up - 8th February
 * doesn’t matter when you have the net'' - The only things that are absolutely essential to remember are one’s computer login details, pin number and (possibly) names of a few key workmates. The rest of memory can be outsourced to the computer - 1st February
 * won’t do in business'' - I can think of three possible explanations why in mainstream corporate life in the UK and the US, the ugly mug rules - 25th January
 * proven formula for cheerfulness'' - The most depressing day of the year is upon us. But Lucy Kellaway has found a better way to keep up morale than the motivational gurus - 18th January
 * forecasters should stick to the weather'' - Cold air has been blowing out of the Arctic, and hot air has been blowing out of the mouths of business forecasters - 11th January
 * year for management guff'' - Even in bad times, some can still push the envelope and go the extra mile when it comes to talking bull - 3rd January



Articles: 2009

 * to make you groan'' - There is no shortage of bad business books, but Lucy Kellaway feels that giving them as ironic presents to bankers would be irresponsible - 20th December
 * office idiocy Dada treatment'' - I come across a lot of angry people in the course of my work, writes Lucy Kellaway . They take exception to anodyne things written by me - 14th December
 * who look ridiculous'' - A bright tie, red socks, a flash of crimson in the lining of a suit – these attempts to stand out in the office smack of desperation - 7th December
 * to land on your feet when speaking in public'' - Make sure the person who’s onstage before you is boring and uses plenty of slides, and pick the right audience - 30th November
 * too much information harms the office'' - Staff are responding to overload by not digesting anything. No one reads e-mails any more – except from the boss - 23rd November
 * return of managerial bone-headedness'' - The bear market in bull may be over but the bear market in courage is not. Fear and paranoia are even more a part of corporate life - 16th November
 * work with your spouse'' - To allow husbands and wives to co-work has always struck me as a bad idea financially, socially, practically and emotionally - 9th November
 * a longer working life is good for us all'' - Work is a bit like taking exercise. It can be boring and stressful while you are doing it but it is preferable to not working - 2nd November
 * ‘chillaxing’ isn’t cool'' - Chilling is seen by today’s children as the natural order of things. However, taking it easy in the office is not a good idea - 19th October
 * or not taboo? Some new office guidelines'' - A search for the sacrosanct subjects of the workplace was almost fruitless as most of the old strictures at work are on the way out, but there are still some no-go areas - 12th October
 * The perils of revealing your illness at work - Gordon Brown’s questioning over whether he takes pills to cope with the pressure reveals the new taboo in the workplace - 5th October
 * to be a top female boss'' - Anna Wintour’s longevity in the fashion industry and hard-nosed approach provide a useful model for women executives - 28th September
 * dealers are perfect gurus in a recession'' - With their ruthlessness and brilliance at managing cash flow, hustlers such as the reformed 50 Cent can provide useful lessons to executives - 21st September
 * the office go to the dogs'' - For one day in September, several thousand of the unemployed will make their way into UK workplaces. Most will have exceptionally low IQs and will be capable of following only the simplest instructions. The occasion is Take Your Dogs to Work Day - 14th September
 * away management’s verbal germs'' - Hygiene at work is in. In office toilets, grown-up employees are being told how to wash their hands. But now businesses are being urged to keep metaphorically clean - 7th ?September
 * lessons in smiling'' - A Japanese scheme to rate the curvaceousness of staff smiles is flawed not because it’s like Big Brother but because it wrongly assumes that a bigger smile is a better one - 20th July
 * career choice that delivers'' - The last time I’d seen this 56-year-old he was a marketing director but now he triumphantly announced he had become a postman - 13th July
 * in the boardroom'' - After decades of discussing women in the boardroom we should have gained enough confidence to go post-PC - 4th July
 * it easy about ageing'' - My contemporaries seemed to have stopped playing the obsessive game of age comparison – its time for me to join them - 29th June
 * missed trick in the new pay reality'' - The old relationships between work and leisure and money and no money have started to break down - 22nd June
 * exams fail the office test'' - They teach lessons about work that you need to unlearn pretty smartly if you want to get ahead in business - 15th June
 * transparency on expenses would really reveal'' - Executives who take their customers to McDonald’s may be losing goodwill faster than they are saving money - 6th June
 * to bosses who use praise wisely'' - At a time when no one can afford to reward people with more money, to reward them with handouts of ‘what a star‘ would seem a no-brainer - 25th May
 * tale sheds light on pushy parenting'' - I think it does one good to fail in a small way. It means one then has to work hard to catch up, and that one may have a fresher way of doing things - 18th May
 * a thief gave me 10 reasons to be grateful'' - It was a great morale boost that this time I was victim rather than perpetrator, and people have been astoundingly sympathetic - 11th May
 * fear, acceptance and a burst of cheer'' - We are fed up with being fed up: the green shoots are sprouting vigorously in our minds, even if they are not sprouting in the economy - 4th May
 * executives reveal too much'' - Either they fill their tweets with mundane personal detail, or they fill them with mundane professional detail – which is possibly worse - 27th April
 * to take safe revenge on the boss'' - Anti-boss rage is more in vogue than it has ever been in my lifetime and I find I’m watching the display with alternate surges of glee and discomfort - 20th April
 * chore-chore means war-war'' - The trick is not for husbands and wives to get to a 50:50 share when doing the housework. It is to stop counting and to stop minding - 6th April
 * counsellors should find a new job'' - The whole idea of advice is hopeless – the best tests in the world would not help, as there is no formula for matching round pegs to round holes - 30th March
 * subject that songwriters labour to avoid'' - Work has been overlooked in pop lyrics – there are office novels and office sit-coms and office movies, but almost no office songs - 23rd March
 * Fred Goodwin or Dick Fuld in all of us'' - There are many theories about the mess we are in, but it is simply what you get when you take human beings and put them in an organisation - 14th March
 * Lucan and the vanished charm of desks'' - His desk was crafted about 200 years ago from rosewood and tulipwood, my modern design is made from a slab of medium density fibreboard - 9th March
 * metaphors are out for the count'' - I have seen an article that marks the first evidence from the management guff industry that ‘soft’ is finally on its way out and ‘hard’ is on its way in - 2nd March
 * back, semicolon; c u l8r, informality'' - The pendulum has swung away from slouchy language towards correct usage of punctuation - 23rd February
 * smart and pull your socks up'' - To survive this economic downturn we need to smarten up and buckle down. We really need to get some work under our belts - 16th February
 * new guilt as a selfish working mother'' - An idea about children’s happiness that had given me solace for years has been rudely overturned - 9th February
 * have fallen into recession’s web of fear'' - Through blogs, websites and e-mails the world’s economic ills are fed to us on a drip all day long, multiplying troubles everywhere - 2nd February
 * to fear from your inner child'' - I dare say the US president hoped his words would resonate beyond the toy cupboard and sweetie jar, but even so they are feeble advice - 26th January
 * of my $10m trading blunder'' - The first episode of a business reality television programme rammed home the message that being a trader is the worst job in the world - 19th January
 * reaction to colleagues’ colds'' - If any more were encouraged to take to their beds just because they have a sniffle there would be no one presenting themselves for work at all - 12th January
 * Twaddle thrives amid the turmoil - In spite of my fears that management had renounced waffle, the art of business people talking rubbish is alive and well - 4th January



Articles: 2008

 * Expect to get dirty when a name is mud - If one’s occupation involves making off with investors’ money, then it is proper the name ‘Made-off’ reflects that. There is a fine tradition at work here - 21st December 2008
 * Money is the new secret of a happy job - When one’s job is at risk and one’s savings are a shadow of their former selves, the search for meaning at work becomes meaningless in itself - 14th December 2008
 * The hottest recessionary activity in town - If there has been a mass shift from taking risks in financial markets to taking risks in the domestic market, will it mean mass domestic instability - 7th December 2008
 * Go short on letters to investors - I would like to know whether hedge funds’ letters to their investors have calmed their recipients by distracting them – or made them even crosser - 2nd November 2008
 * No mistake that blunders are still bad - The theory that making errors is good is one of the most insidious, dangerous and downright moronic management ideas of all time - 27th October 2008
 * How to save a column from Armageddon - Newspaper articles covering these tumultuous times are so tightly packed with cliché that it is hard to do anything other than join in - 19th October 2008
 * The supercalifragilistic answer - ‘Mary Poppins’ may feature a City of tail coats rather than chinos, but its depiction of unsustainable wealth speaks about our own woes - 12th October 2008
 * The scarcity in silliness - Another market has crashed, bringing to an end one of the longest bull runs ever: the bottom has fallen out of management bullshit - 5th October 2008
 * A novel approach for chief executives - A course at Harvard Business School makes chief executives sit down and talk about novels and think about writing - 28th Sepember 2008
 * Why salaries are the final taboo - Transparency on our earnings might make things fairer if there were a ‘right’ amount that everyone should be taking home but this isn’t the case - 14th September 2008
 * Teen troublemakers and business parents - The children of business leaders can screw up in life as much as they like without doing any damage at all to their parents’ career prospects - 7th September 2008
 * The pen is mightier than high-tech gadgets - New technology tempts us with the latest version of this or that, but the customer service associated with modern products is far from alluring - 31st August 2008
 * Turning customer delight into disgust - It was the worst ‘service’ I’ve ever had: my pulse now quickens with rage every time I see the hateful orange and white livery of EasyJet - 24th August 2008
 * The City lawyer, the intern and the strip club - A tale of drunkenness and alleged harassment resulted in a lawyer being dismissed and the reaction has split the City of London - 17th August 2008
 * Dying wish to spend more time in the office - Climbing into a coffin and pretending to be dead is breaking new ground in what business people are made to do in the name of self-improvement - 27th July 2008
 * Strange kind of capitalism - For a capitalist economy to work, we all need to believe that more money is better than less money, and that a pay rise is a good thing - 20th July 2008
 * My guide to snoopology - Lord King’s photographs were trying to tell me he was important; instead they said that he was a namedropper and general pain in the backside - 13th July 2008
 * Board battles won on playing fields of youth - Almost half of the chiefs of Britain’s biggest companies have gained awards in the field of sport – twice as many as have any academic trophies - 6th July 2008
 * Shock of BPC: before personal computers - I have just started a 24 hour low-tech vigil – sans PC and e-mail – to remind myself what life was like when windows were things that let the light in - 29th June 2008
 * When complaining to wrong person is right - Not long ago, a friend opened a can of Heinz baked beans to feed her children for supper. As she poured the orange slop into a bowl she spotted two brown beans among the hundreds of orange ones - 20th June 2008
 * A bouquet of office barbs - Last week Sir Alan Sugar said “you’re fired” to three of the last four candidates in The Apprentice and 8.9m people sat on sofas all over Britain gawping at the expressions of bitter disappointment, shock and anger that these two words inspired - 15th June 2008
 * Joys of haircare and soldiery - When we were at primary school, my sister and I used to steal our mother’s rollers and nail varnish and curl each other’s hair and paint each other’s fingernails. My brother, meanwhile, would spend hours with his Action Man commando, pulling the cord in its plastic back and listening to it croak: “Enemy tank approaching!” and “Give me some cover!” - 15th June 2008
 * My message to letter-writing chiefs: you're fired - Last week on The Apprentice television show, two teams had to design a box of tissues and come up with a telly advert to catch the attention of consumers - 26th May 2008
 * Marriage demands due diligence - Every year 1m married couples in Europe decide that they cannot stand the sight of each other and split up - 18th May 2008
 * No, I'm the greatest - Boasting used to be a very un-British trait - but in a world of work where it's hard to measure one employee against another, it's increasingly important - BBC News magazine: A Point of View, Friday, 16th May 2008
 * Aim low to find meaning at work - At a party last week.I met a man who until recently was a government minister. We chatted about this and that, and he said how much he was enjoying his assortment of sinecures – non-executive directorships, speaking engagements and so on. He had both more money and more spare time than he used to have; in all, life was good. I asked him if he was missing the power. He looked at me as if I were a simpleton. Government ministers don’t have any power, he said - 11th May 2008
 * Decade’s spaced-out legacy in business - In May 1968 I had my first sexual experience. I was almost nine at the time and that afternoon had been practising French skipping in my bedroom with my best friend, Tabitha. When we had tired of leaping over the elastic that was strung tightly between two chairs, she told me about French kissing and – briefly and rather less enthusiastically – we practised that instead - 4th May 2008
 * What if women ran the world? - What would it be like if women ruled the world? Over the past 10 days, the question has been put by newspapers and broadcasters to all sorts of people – and all sorts of answers have been provided - 27th April 2008
 * With no losers, we wouldn’t have any winners - Last week a reader sent me an e-mail pointing out a mistake in my latest column. Blogs and posts, he explained, are not the same. A blog refers to the whole thing; a post is an entry on a blog - 20th April 2008
 * On monetary matters, nuttiness kicks in - Last week’s big news at my office was that the tills in the canteen were on the blink, and could no longer swipe our vending cards. So in order to buy, say, a large latte and a lemon muffin, we had to open our purses and find £1.80 in coins instead - 6th April 2008
 * Seven types of rot that appeal to big cheeses - When financial markets are crumbling and banks are crashing, the natural response of people in positions of authority is to talk rot - 30th March 2008
 * Trapped workers develop a line in doodling - I draw boxes. I draw them carefully in 3D and then put a little circle at each corner. My husband draws arrows. A line, then a triangular head at one end followed by a similar one at the other - 16th March 2008
 * Put an end to the trauma of the telephone - I punched in a London number and far away in Singapore the phone rang twice. “This is Bloomberg, the home of customer service, innovation and creativity,” said a recorded voice. “Please stand by and listen to one of our seven global television channels whilst we find you a service genius.” - 9th March 2008
 * Green holiday that makes me see red - Last Friday, when others were toiling away as usual in the office, the 5,000 employees of the National Trust were at home changing light bulbs and making compost toilets on their allotments - 2nd March 2008
 * Rekindling a 25-year bond - In my head is a dull ache and in my handbag a stack of business cards. One is from an acupuncturist. Another from a racehorse trainer, and further cards from asset managers, venture capitalists and people who are presidents of companies bearing their own name. It was quite a party - 24th February 2008
 * Happiness is finding your inner receptionist - A couple of months ago a friend asked if I’d write her a job reference. She is bright and witty and sophisticated and for about 20 years has held a succession of powerful jobs in television and newspapers - 10th February 2008
 * Unpolished exchanges put soul into shopping - Let me tell you about two things that have happened to me in the past 24 hours. The first concerns a shabby pair of brown suede ankle boots. The second, a glossy lipstick called Nude Lips - 3rd February 2008
 * Accenture’s next champion of waffle words - When one door closes, another one opens. On Thursday the prison gates clanked shut behind Martin Lukes in Florida but, in London, the door of an office inside swung ajar, revealing Mark Foster, a middle-aged white man with a long-winded title - 27th January 2008 (Accenture)
 * No way to manage a bleating luvvie - A few weeks ago I had lunch with my brother-in-law. First we discussed our unseemly mid-life urges: his to do triathlons, mine to buy bright green shoes with six-inch heels. We then moved on to our respective professions – opera singing and writing – and the question of how one can go on getting better at these after having spent a quarter of a century trying - 20th January 2008
 * Bonuses for the incorrigibly childish - Normally, if someone was to give me a large sum of money, say £1m or so, I’d be quite pleased. But if I was an investment banker, I probably wouldn’t be. Just like the thousands of them who at this time of year will be receiving more than £1m, I’d be eaten up with insecurity, envy and greed - 13th January 2008
 * A New Year’s resolution that will last - I may not be getting better at much else, but I am getting better at making New Year’s resolutions. Mine for 2008 is the best I’ve ever made. It’s positive, it’s ambitious, it’s inspiring but it also has a highish chance of success. It is to be competent - 6th January 2008



News & updates:

 * Stairway to health. Lucy Kellaway’s column gets readers walking. 25th November 2013



References:


Links:

 * Wikipedia bio