Rowan Pelling



Profile:
Full name: Dorothy Rowan Pelling

Area of interest: Society, women's and family issues, sexual politics

Journals/Organisation: The Daily Telegraph | Daily Mail

Email: [mailto:rowan.pelling@telegraph.co.uk rowan.pelling@telegraph.co.uk]

Personal website:

Website: Telegraph.co / Rowan Pelling

Blog:

Representation: DGA - [mailto:assistant@davidgodwinassociates.co.uk assistant@davidgodwinassociates.co.uk]

Networks:



Biography:
About:

Education: St Hugh's College, Oxford: English

Career: Following graduation worked for Private Eye; then invited to join Erotic Review (a spin-off of the Erotic Print Society) by co-founder Jamie Maclean, became editor then co-owner following a management buy-out; The Independent on Sunday: columnist, 2002/2007; The Sunday Telegraph: columnist, 2007-


 * Surrey proves the ultimate turn-off at Erotic Review, The Daily Telegraph, 11th September 2004
 * The Erotic Review uncensored: It was edited by 'IoS' columnist Rowan Pelling. She'll be played by Rachel Weisz. But there is more, so much more. By Anthony Barnes - The Independent, 2nd Apri 2006

Current position/role: The Daily Telegraph: Columist


 * also writes/written for: also writes a sex advice column for the Mail on Sunday

Other roles/Main role:

Other activities: Served as a Booker Prize judge, see: Booker judge hails writing talent, BBC News, 26th August, 2004

Disclosures:

Viewpoints/Insight:
 * Article: Named the Belle de Jour of the net, Gareth Walsh and Nicholas Hellen, The Times, 27th March 2005
 * Interview: "The British love a posh woman talking dirty", PaulKirkley.com - © Cambridge Newspapers Ltd, June 2006
 * Interview: With Rowan Pelling, by Dave Tomlinson, 2007

Broadcast media: Regular guest on BBC Radio 4 programmes and TV appearances
 * IMDb

Video:

Controversy/Criticism:

Awards/Honours:

Scoops:

Other:



Books & Debate:

 * Erotic review bedside companion (2000) OCLC 45306575
 * The decadent handbook (2006) OCLC 59187945

Latest work:

Speaking/Appearances:

Current debate:http://www.intelligencesquared.com/people/p/rowan-pelling 

The Daily Telegraph:
Column name:

Remit/Info: Society, women's and family issues, sexual politics

Section: Comment

Role: Commentator

Pen-name:

Email: [mailto:rowan.pelling@telegraph.co.uk rowan.pelling@telegraph.co.uk]

Website: Telegraph.co / Rowan Pelling

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Wednesday

Regularity: Weekly

Column format:

Average length:



Articles: 2017

 * Online and off, we have all, like Helen Bailey, fallen for lying lovers - 26th February
 * Why I'm bringing erotica back for a new generation - You might have thought the last thing the world needed was yet another magazine on the topic of sex. And I would have agreed wholeheartedly – until really quite recently. - 25th January



Articles: 2016

 * Giving science toys to boys is not the worst of it – we all secretly try to control our kids with gifts - Societal stereotypes driving these gendered listings could be having a knock-on effect for the next generation of engineers, especially girls, impacting their future career choices - 11th December
 * Today's neurotic, Orwellian gender politics have no place on University Challenge - 27th November
 * Television on demand? No thanks: I want more of the shows that I don't ask for and don't like - Today’s subscription audiences have their own narrow taste bounced back at them - 6th November
 * Thank God for parents like Michael Gove. The greatest gift you can give your child is independence - Michael and Sarah's son is a mature and confident secondary school pupil. He preferred to watch TV rather than go out to dinner - 31st October
 * It is dogs who trained humans, not the other way round - 9th October
 * I fink this is the future, but it's just not proper - 2nd October
 * Tears and throwing cakes at the wall? No, the secret to really winning Bake Off is not to try too hard - 28th August
 * I know just how Laura Trott feels – sisterhood is a wonderfully spiky, complex thing - 21st August
 * Finally we're free to shop at Waitrose without apologising for it - 26th July 2016
 * Snobby Brits will pray that Pippa Middleton's wedding is a minefield of social gaffes and faux-pas - 24th July
 * At Wimbledon, even the crowds are in a fluster - 9th July
 * Don’t write off the suburbs yet, we’re dreaming the bigger dream - 5th July
 * A naked don in Cambridge – what’s so outlandish about that? - 1st July
 * Who wants to be poor, patronised Mrs M&S?  - 29th May
 * It's time fossil hunters faced extinction - 16th May
 * Everyone's a winner in the greatest sporting event on earth - 7th April



Articles: 2015

 * Why we Brits can't help but love a hellraiser like Lemmy - A dedication to debauchery is a badge of honour in an age of detox, diets and - gah! - mindfulness - 30th December
 * Why an affair can be good for your career - If you choose the right sort of man, he could do wonders for your prospects - 1st October
 * Beware men who never get over a first love - Wise women know you can fight present danger, but it’s hard to battle the past: the hooks go too deep - 29th August
 * Watching the male menopause in action isn't pretty - But then since I'm going to endure my own in a few years, I'll be gentle - 31st July
 * Sex: are screaming and moaning real signs of satisfaction? - A woman has been jailed for making too much noise in bed - but she who wails loudest does not always wail truest - 3rd June
 * Value of a Saturday job: those life skills your GCSEs won't give you - Sacrifice a few A grades to make your self more attractive to employers - 31st March
 * Forget history. It's these children's books that chart the world's progress - A housing estate here, a poltically correct gesture there, a health and safety flavour all round - reprints of children's favourites reveal the way we live now - 13th March
 * Fifty Shades of Grey: S&M is a bit hard to swallow before lunch - The cinema bosses clearly think mums was some soft porn with their morning coffee - 14th February
 * Maybe Tom Stoppard is just too clever for us - Are we, as the Hard Problem playwright complains, becoming dumber as a nation? Or is our culture just shifting away from the highfaluting allusions of his plays? - 10th February
 * Unless you’re Elton John, forget fancy-dress parties - As Prince Andrew has been cruelly reminded, themed events will come back to haunt you - 11th January



Articles: 2014

 * The judges who are a law unto themselves - It’s reassuring to hear that a senior member of the judiciary knows so little about cricket - 25th October
 * The perils of a single-sex education are best avoided - Sir Michael Wilshaw is right to back co-ed schools - so long as they are well run - 30th September
 * It's hard to find the words to describe writer’s block - It’s easy to sneer, but authors stuck with a blank sheet of paper deserve our sympathy - 28th August
 * Bercow and his cronies threaten our parliamentary democracy - The Speaker’s plan to give a crucial job to a holly unsuitable candidate is reckless - 28th August
 * Tell it like it is, critics – however painful - The effort that goes into writing a book or making a film should not influence a reviewer - 20th August
 * If there are seven ages of man, there are surely seven gears of bicycle ownership - An impulse test-ride led to the realisation that all my bicycle relationships have been sentimental - 10th August
 * Young women are far too well-versed in politeness - Sometimes girls need to know when to drop the civility and play hard-ball like a man - 10th July
 * My mother-in-law, the least 'wet’ woman on the planet - Anne MacKinnon was proof that mothers-in-law and stepmothers can be heroines - 18th June
 * Say bye-bye to bunions with a pair of manly brogues - Rowan Pelling once longed for tiny tootsies. But now the older she is, the stranger she finds it that so many people yearn for itsy-bitsy child’s feet - 4th June
 * If you think that bed’s bad, Tracey, you haven’t lived - Charles Saatchi take note: the smarter a woman’s background, the more primitive her bedchamber - 28th May
 * Only a teenage virgin could be so certain about sex - Those of more mature years know that the heart is a fickle organ and that desire does not necessarily recede with the gums - 21st May
 * Tidy the room and you just might clean up - Unexpected treasures can appear if you clear away years of clutter - 23rd April
 * A good reason to get married is to get rid of your partner - Perhaps the greatest reason why women long for wedlock is to lose the awkward labels by which the unwed are known - 16th April
 * In shouty families, everyone has a bawl - The London School of Economics has put the cart before the horse by claiming that shouting at children makes their behaviour worse - 9th April
 * We love pubs and churches, but don’t want to use them - We British middle classes want someone else to do our praying and drinking - 2nd April
 * Here’s why I’ll be giving the no make-up selfie a miss - The last thing any cancer patient needs is a bunch of fighting-fit women having a quick hospice-chic makeover - 26th March
 * Left-handers are victims of a sinister conspiracy - No wonder the Tory MP Sir Peter Luff is campaigning for the rights of left-handed pupils - 19th March
 * How Italy put sex into style - On the eve of a new exhibition, Rowan Pelling hails a nation with a passion for pure sensuality - 16th March
 * Why a ginger tom might just inherit the Earth - I was glad to learn Winston Churchill was an even bigger fan of a marmalade cat than I am - 12th March
 * Give Tuscany a miss – your West Country needs you - This wonderful area has been all but deserted since the floods, so we should go on holiday there - 5th March
 * I’m prepared to confess all, but only when the time’s right - When you turn 80, the crimes that you would once have been banged up for are transformed into virtues - 26th February
 * The secret to our happy home? I earn more than him - Having a nappy-changing house-husband wasn't just handy for Rowan Pelling - it was essential - 19th February
 * A dishy doctor won’t always make you feel better - From Dr Kildare through to ER and Holby City, TV has done its utmost to persuade viewers that physicians are dashing, charismatic, noble love gods - 12th February
 * I’m going to keep the hug culture at arm’s length - Rowan Pelling has no intention of embracing the modern habit of giving cuddles all over the place - 5th February
 * Living apart may just be the secret to marital bliss - When you’re older, a room of one’s own isn’t bold enough a daydream: why not a whole separate house - 29th January
 * We do judge a politician by the woman at his side - The French President needs a First Lady at the Elysée Palace - 23rd January
 * Only one film censor matters - Mum or Dad - The BBFC is planning to tighten regulations over what children can watch on film and video. Isn't that the job of parents - 14th January
 * Prince William's university challenge - It will be fun trying to spot Prince William cycling through Cambridge - 1st January



Articles: 2013

 * I’m waiting to beard Paxo, finger poised on my buzzer - Who knew that being torn off a strip could feel so exhilarating - 26th December
 * Nothing beats the scream of a truly terrified sister - Joan Fontaine’s epic feud with her sister Olivia de Havilland will strike a chord with many siblings - 18th December
 * Would you risk a lift from a pal who’s been drinking? - People believe their friends are sober until pulled out of a hedge - 11th December
 * The best acts of kindness aren’t random - Good deeds should not be a thing of the past or done only by Girl Guides - 4th December
 * So now it’s my fault if I don’t know my train will be delayed - The current system of multiple train companies is not working to the benefit of the customer - 27th November
 * Acupuncture helped me get pregnant - Alternative medicine gets a rough ride from the naysayers – but Rowan Pelling has no trouble accepting that a woman conceived after a foot massage - 25th November
 * A collector’s bookshelves can speak volumes - What drives some men to become obsessive collectors - 20th November
 * A sexual mauling in public is all too familiar - Rare is the woman who hasn’t felt trapped by a predator - 6th November
 * Why can’t a single man be more like a woman? - Single women seem better equipped than men to lead a fulfilling solo life - 30th October
 * To find true love, brush up on your Sophocles - Entering the world classical scholars inhabit can feel a little like falling down Alice’s rabbit hole - 23rd October
 * A rocket ride to the stars in an age of innocence - The new Clangers will lack the unique resonance of their late auteur - 16th October
 * The ex-wife and the ex-Whip - Fiona-Natasha Syms is one of us - 9th October
 * 100 years of a girl’s best friend - As the modern bra reaches its centenary, Rowan Pelling celebrates its changing shape and cultural significance - 6th October
 * Would I ever see my laptop again? - The news of the Kenyan mall atrocity put the inconvenience of a lost computer into stark perspective - 25th September
 * A world-class walk along the enchanted Thames - London’s stretch of the Thames Path has been deemed to be the second most glorious urban walk in the world - 18th September
 * Lusty bivalves whose charms prove hard to resist - Many aphrodisiacs can prove pointlessly exhausting, but the oyster is a genuinely sexy foodstuff -11th September
 * Let’s tackle it all – birds, bees, love and 'slags’ - School sex education should be overhauled to counter the degrading influence of online porn - 4th September
 * Freezing while she’s baking – my heart goes out to Mary Berry - The star of The Great British Bake Off had to stuff two hot water bottles down her trousers while on set - 28th August
 * We capture every moment yet lose that special shot - We all take photos now and those formally posed portraits are a thing of the past - 21st August
 * Please keep the family jewels out of your erotic fiction - When writing erotic fiction, authors must choose their words with care - 14th August
 * Stay-at-home mothers need our support - George Osborne's patronising pronouncement will come as news to full-time mothers across the country - 7th August
 * What’s in a name? Ask Poo, Pants or Tubby - Posh people are far keener on nicknames than the less blue-blooded - 31st July
 * There’s no love so intense as that between mum and son - Mothers of small princes everywhere nod in sympathy with the Duchess of Cambridge - 24th July
 * Royal baby: why Carole will be key - Kate's mother will relish the role of grandparent - 14th July
 * Ex-BBC man Roly Keating is a role model for our age - Sit vac: heroes and villains wanted for a fickle world - 3rd July
 * I would have Mr Darcy – especially if he came with a Georgian rectory - How appealing would Jane Austen's eligible bachelor from Pride and Prejudice be without Pemberley? - 26th June
 * Men doing comedy can become a terrible drag - Are women as funny as men? Yes, except when it comes to dressing up - 19th June
 * The horses charged, it was like Waterloo - The King's Troop enjoy a good relationship with the Royal family - 12th June
 * Spellbound by a tribute to the mad chase - Stuffed animals, theatrical art, embellished shotguns, portraits of gun dogs. What's not to like - 5th June
 * Google this: porn is bad for our children - The Government should force internet providers to make child pornography much harder to access - 2nd June
 * Sex is much too boring for children – try Lego - Exposure to the web’s dark, pornographic underbelly has left my lovely, naive son mired in guilt and confusion - 22nd May
 * When it comes to craziness, women bite the bottom - In terms of office high jinks, the female professional is crazier than the male - 15th May
 * Tolerance for developers? Not in my backyard - Complaining about your neighbour’s extension is virtually the national pastime. Antipathy to change is in our DNA - 8th May
 * Practising self-restraint in Santorini makes no sense - Why go somewhere romantic in order to avoid romance - 24th April
 * Tatler’s breast effort prompts a silly storm in a D-cup - The magazine's 'Best Society Breasts' feature was no more offensive than its obsession with lineage, mansions and young gels’ breeding potential - 17th April
 * Thatcher milk snatcher? Far from it, we gladly poured the stuff away - No one ever mentions the fact that many schoolchildren loathed that beastly bottle - 10th April
 * A welfare crisis engulfs the nation, but Labour sits idly by - Caution has served Ed Miliband well so far, but the time has come for more than rhetoric - 3rd April
 * School fees buy more than good grades - Private education gives pupils a precious gift: confidence - 30th March
 * The child care plan drawn up on a Notting Hill napkin - Why should stay-at-home mums or dads, as well as parents who need child care for older children, get zero assistance? - 21st March
 * Naming and shaming is the way to silence noisy travellers - Poor manners and the beeping of mobiles now seem so much part of society that many of us feel powerless to counter them - 13th March
 * A good sex scene is surprisingly hard to find - Compiling a selection of erotic fiction has shown how rare highbrow hanky-panky is today - 6th March
 * A map-reading spouse is a short cut to divorce - It's no surprise that couples fall out when the strain of navigation proves too much - 27th February
 * Finally, I’m old enough to dig the land girl look - I’ve learnt that there is a vital distinction between wearing clothes and being worn by them - 20th February
 * For children, Quentin Blake remains the greatest draw - His work blurs the distinction between art and illustration - 13th February
 * Who needs counselling when there’s Withnail? - As Barry Norman picks his 49 best British films, all we need to cheer us up are home-grown movies - 5th February
 * Affable, even admirable, but is Clare Balding really fascinating? - Tatler's appraisal of the famously lesbian TV presenter is generous to a fault - 30th January
 * Misogynist trolls need an earful from the barmaid - The online harassment of Mary Beard was shocking even for those hardened to abuse - 23rd January
 * I don't know about Patricia Cornwell, but there’s been a fraudster active on my account. Me - Could £2,000 have vanished from a Barclays bank account just like that? - 16th January



Articles: 2012

 * You're never too old for 'over-glamming' - Leather nails, ruby-studded fake lashes, big, blow-dried hair... are you ready to rock the 'over-glamming' trend this New Year's Eve? - 23rd December
 * The TV cook’s kitchen is a place of fetish and fantasy - We're meant to drool over dishes by Nigella and Co, not actually make them - 19th December
 * I’d love to pass Go and collect £200, but I don't have the time - The chasm between reality and my desire to raise the sort of family that plays board games is a source of endless chagrin - 12th December
 * What’s in a name? In the case of the Duchess of Cambridge's baby, an entire era - The Duchess will have a very limited choice when it comes to christening a child - 5th December
 * Will David Cameron slot in the missing piece of Beveridge’s jigsaw? - At last, the Coalition is poised to end the dithering over properly funded social care - 28th November
 * Christmas 2012: A bleak midwinter in front of the TV - It's the battle of the weepies: Downton Abbey versus Call the Midwife - 28th November
 * The edifice of marriage is always worth repairing - Wedded bliss doesn't exist - but a deeper passion does happen - 21st November
 * Let’s hope Nadine Dorries likes the taste of giant bugs - How can Tory MP Nadine Dorries take the moral high ground by abandoning her constituents to appear on I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here - 7th November
 * On Hallowe’en, I’ve learnt to embrace my inner Morticia - We might not believe in ghosts, but we've come to love our silly celebration of them - 31st October
 * The Prince of Wales’s day of destiny with a Hobbit’s hairy toes - Good on the Prince of Wales for giving JRR Tolkien the royal stamp of approval - 24th October
 * Pukka pilferers can’t resist a take-away - We’d never dream of stealing from Boots, so why do we pinch from Jamie’s restaurants? - 17th October
 * Treat it well and telly will be a faithful family friend - Watch less TV, experts say, but without it my household’s elaborate system of bribes would collapse - 10th October
 * Less a nation of shopkeepers, more a land of stand-ups - Everybody’s now in the laughter biz - including me - 26th September
 * Good riddance to GCSEs – we parents hated doing them - It wasn't just children who suffered under the now-defunct exam system - parents got sucked in too - 19th September
 * Hate-filled Baroness Thatcher T-shirt: don't the trade unionists know Katharine Hamnett? - Anger is the wrong reaction to the trade unionists' cruel anti-Margaret Thatcher T-shirt - 12th September
 * I’d be shaken, not stirred, by silk sheets and purple walls - Why did respondents to a survey equate purple with sexual fulfilment? - 5th September
 * Only England could combine books and Birkenstocks - So many of England's literary festivals are more like bookish garden fetes - 31st August
 * The windscreen wiper who fought dirty - Well done to the citizens of Tunbridge Wells who stand accused of smearing canine mess on nuisance parkers’ windscreens - 15th August
 * These wrinkly old horsemen are every little girl’s dream - For every young, pony-worshipping girl, the older men showjumping are the bee's knees - 8th August
 * These boys with bendy bodies leave me breathless - When I watched Britain’s splendid male gymnastics team, I felt some form of magic was being performed - 1st August
 * Paul Frampton: when bright men become fools - Paul Frampton is a clever man made to look silly because of a pretty girl - 25th July
 * At last, it’s not pregnancy but profit that seals the deal - Marissa Mayer shows girls that motherhood and executive office are not incompatible - 18th July
 * I’ll have a pint, a packet of crisps and an earful of abuse - We don't go to pubs just for a drink - we also love the challenge of taming a Basil Fawlty-type landlord - 11th July
 * Fifty Shades of Grey: so what’s the story? - EL James’s novel succeeds as romantic escapism, not erotic fiction - 4th July
 * I salute you, Captain Underpants - Reading books isn't just about stretching ourselves - it's about sheer pleasure - 20th June
 * Thrillers (and redheads) haven’t changed - Lucy Cavendish College's Fiction Prize is a great spur to unpublished women writers - 13th June
 * If I were Danny Boyle, I’d call in the Army now - After the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, the director of the Olympic ceremonies has a tough act to follow - 6th June
 * Memories etched in red, white and blue - Rowan Pelling was five when she was first entranced by the magic of a royal event. And it will be no different at the Palace this afternoon - 5th June
 * A treasure on my doorstep I’ve just discovered - The extraordinary Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology in Cambridge needs to blow its trumpet better - 30th May
 * Children have become hi-tech addicts - We should limit toddlers' access to gadgets - 23rd May
 * I’d love to do a Beard but may end up a Barber - Being in touch with your inner teenager doesn’t stop you sometimes pining for her dewy epidermis - 9th May
 * I couldn’t help feeling some sympathy for my stalkers - Celebrity gardener Alan Titchmarsh could have a nice sideline trapping stalkers - 2nd May
 * To Brighton, for kissing lessons - Kissing a stranger for a radio documentary brought back terrible memories - 25th April
 * casts its spell on a new generation of Pellings'' - Genteel mummies who steer their charges past the slot machines fail to understand how a small child’s heart yearns for joyous vulgarity - 11th April
 * Vulgar party animals can be profound too - Who is to say that the recently lauded introverts have it right - 4th April
 * The magic of King’s Cross - King's Cross has been so transformed it's as though a wand has been waved - 21st March
 * Don’t let the screens turn my children into zombies - Parents of young children need to grasp technology - 18th March
 * Meat-lovers be warned: steak will be very rare - Lovers of a full English should not worry about the latest warnings over red meat - 14th March
 * Why on earth did I think I could make people laugh? - A rash promise made last November to try her hand at being a stand-up comedian to raise money for International Women’s Day has come back to haunt Rowan Pelling - 7th March
 * Why Blighty breeds a better class of bounder - Privileged people cheat more because they're better educated and so more able to assess risk - 29th February
 * Why my sister never liked pretty dresses - Children who feel they're the 'wrong' sex need better understanding - 22nd February
 * The perfect cocktail for old age - Many of us sleepwalk towards factory-farmed care, without taking responsibility for our impending infirmity - 15th February
 * Punch still knocks them dead after 350 years - It would be a shame if lily-livered parents brought to an end centuries of slapstick humour - 8th February
 * If the plane crashes, I want to know where I’ll end up - We should make plans about how we want to be cared for when we're infirm, and what happens to us when we die - 25th January
 * Please, David Cameron, spare us the marital details - Let the Prime Minister's memories of his wedding night remain secret - 18th January
 * Toddlers don’t need Peppa Pig to go astray - Infant misbehaviour is unlikely to be derived from cartoon characters - 11th January
 * I'm going to stop procrastinating, soon... - Maybe the time has come to tackle those 1,000 unanswered emails - 1st January



Articles: 2011

 * The worst part of Christmas is all that blasted paperwork - Christmas isn't a time of giving - it's a time of wrapping - 28th December
 * Who wouldn’t hitch their wagon to Hitchens? - Two hours of the great controversialist's time could never be cause for regret - 21st December
 * Without a firm grip you’ll get off to a shaky start - Most Brits were instructed to deliver a firm handshake: resolute, but not bone-crushing - 14th December
 * The hidden costs of romance - Most of us measure love in tears and ecstasy, but not Julie Ann Zelent - 7th December
 * Cameron should not treat women differently - What women don’t want is a patronising prime minister who wants to appoint a female special adviser - 15th November
 * How I lost my heart to stable boys and steeds - An overdue celebration for K M (Kathleen) Peyton, the queen of pony book authors - 9th November
 * Women can put the fear of 50 behind them - Women nearing 50 needn't worry that they will be either a domestic drudge or predatory cougar - 2nd November
 * 'We Need to Talk About Kevin': When does a little horror turn into a psychopath? - Watching the film 'We Need to Talk About Kevin', about a juvenile psychopath, the manifestations of Kevin’s 'otherness' seemed alarmingly familiar to many parents - 26th October
 * have to be barmy to get your body embalmed'' - Putting your remains in the hands of others can only result in a grisly end - 19th October
 * Spare children from online pornography - Government moves to limit access to sexual material on the net will be a relief to all worried parents - 12th October
 * A man who can say it with flowers is irresistible - Nicolas Sarkozy's appeal to Carla Bruni lay not with his power but with his plant appeal - 28th September
 * English apples are the superfood of the gods - It's no wonder that sales of berries are exceeding applies if supermarkets don't stock exquisite English varieties - 21st September
 * Playground joshing has become a hate crime - Children's innocence is being corroded by the thought police - 15th September
 * Working mothers just adore their child-minders - Off to school – but it’s the child-minder I hate to lose - 7th September
 * Athill, the woman who spoke so well I couldn’t understand her'' - The Norfolk writer asked me a question at the Voewood Festival, but I had no idea what it was - 31st August
 * Bercow may not care, but her family certainly will'' - The Speaker's wife has put advancing her career before heeding her husband's advice - 24th August
 * guard my knick-knacks as fiercely as Gollum'' - The Clearance Brigade should check that those of us who hoard are ready to part with our clutter - 17th August
 * pilots were not just a flight of fancy'' - Lt-Cdr Sarah West is poised to become the first woman warship commander in the Navy’s 500-year history - 10th August
 * Fish failed so utterly that it made him a hero'' - The weatherman is famed, if not forgiven, for not predicting the Great Storm of 1987 - 3rd August
 * college reunion reveals the truth about my old student friends'' - Planning a student reunion? Stand back as a mass of insecurities and fears come bubbling back to the surface - 27th July
 * English male will leap at any chance to wear a frock'' - The interesting thing about these fancy dress aficionados is that they’re, to a man, stocky, balding rugby-playing types - 13th July
 * us from the BBC's New Generation Thinkers'' - Rowan Pelling deplores the bunch of young academics who fought their way through to the final 10 in a Simon Cowell-style talent contest - 29th June
 * want to take this candy out of the mouths of children'' - The government is right to wage war on the sexualisation of children - 8th June
 * Prime Minister’s wife dances to a completely different tune'' - Samantha Cameron is the standard-bearer for a generation that retains its youth - 31st May
 * We want the Duke of Edinburgh to be gruff and curt, not cuddly - What I admire about the Duke is the wry, brusque demeanour that gives no quarter to softies anywhere - 18th May
 * I’ve renounced the devil – now I have to revise for my GCSEs - In today's world, being a godparent is surely not just about rejecting the devil - 11th May
 * Kate Middleton, and the fine art of moulding a new husband - As Kate Middleton says she's happy to be a housewife, Rowan Pelling offers tips on how to deal with the biggest domestic chore of all - turning a new husband into the man you want him to be - 8th May
 * Even couples who click should never share email - Couples who share bank accounts are nuts, but nowhere near as barmy as those who share an email address - 4th May
 * So, it’s not just footballers who play away from home - The quickest way to defuse a kiss and tell story is to admit the offence, rather than handing 50 grand to your lawyers - 27th April
 * Diana Wynne Jones: a wizard writer whose young life was far from magical - Long before Harry Potter, Diana Wynne Jones was writing magical children's stories. But her own childhood was more of a horror story - 30th March
 * Children will read if they see Mum and Dad doing it - Adult book-phobes will scoff at Michael Gove's ambition for schoolchildren to read 50 volumes a year - 23rd March
 * We're waiting for the very last white dot on our TV - The bullying enforcement of digital viewing is enough to make switch off - 16th March
 * Some people will risk it all to cling to a jet-set lifestyle - It is hard to hear of Jeffrey Epstein's loan to the Duchess of York without thinking of Edith Wharton's Duchess of Beltshire, cherry-picking the New World arrivistes - 9th March
 * When did you last hear any witty banter in a Starbucks? - The conflation of caffeine and debate once launched a thousand wits, and gave birth to both revolution and the Enlightenment - 2nd March
 * Jacqui Smith must think there’s one porn every minute - Why does Jacqui Smith insist on playing the wounded ingénue - 23rd February
 * The agony of the dentist's drill brings us all closer together - None of my mother's children could hear the word 'dentist' without gibbering with dread - 16th February
 * Honesty about bedbugs can make you feel a little rash - It slowly dawned on me that the bloody stain was probably not the bug, so much as the gory dinner it had made out of me - 9th February
 * Music from the movies has a hold on me that Bach can't match - Barry's music is on speed-dial to certain whirlwind emotions - 2nd February
 * I was lucky that my school was dominated by women - The decline of all-female education is something to be lamented - 26th January
 * I asked for no fuss on my birthday – and that’s what I got - One friend was on her way to Paris. The other was having a blow-dry... - 19th January
 * I’d rather be bankrupt than fail to stump up for my round - Hands off a sacrosanct British tradition - 5th January
 * Elton John and David Furnish are no more selfish than the rest of us - Whatever the couple's motivation for having a surrogate baby, few people can become a parent and remain selfish for long - 1st January



Articles: 2010

 * glad stockings have suspended their decline'' - Nothing has lost women so much power in the sex wars as their repudiation of the suspender belt - 29th December
 * magic of Christmas distilled into one fabulous show'' - Rowan Pelling and her six-and-a-half-year-old are beguiled by Beauty and the Beast at the National Theatre - 22nd December
 * Huw Edwards – the BBC should give Terry Wogan the royal wedding'' - I'd prefer a little more warmth and Shakespearean dash for the BBC's royal coverage - 15th December
 * goes in the modern, multicultural Nativity play'' - Rowan Pelling says that a school's version of the Nativity probably made as much sense to the children as the old Biblical version - 8th December
 * scoff – lookalikes have a proud history of serving Britain'' - Doesn’t anyone ever wonder why Jennifer Aniston has flown all the way from LA to open a supermarket in Penge - 1st December
 * ditch the Thai fishcakes and bring back proper boozers'' - Gastro-pubs turn a good profit – but where can punters go to nurse an honest pint - 24th November
 * do hope this thieving couple get their deserts'' - If you cannot be trusted to accept hospitality, you may as well eat at home - 17th November
 * upstairs, said my son. Oh no she wasn’t...'' - When it comes to leaving children on their own, the legality is unclear - 3rd November
 * you think you've had the train journey from hell...'' - Try sharing a carriage with seven roaringly drunk men - 27th October
 * so funny when a drunk drops dead'' - Dipsomania is one family tradition that isn't worth continuing - 20th October
 * writing's on the wall for the wonderful fountain pen'' - How can an awkward scrawl be preferable to the lovely, rippling flow of ink flying across the page - 13th October
 * stirs up my starchy romance'' - Writers often mine their spouses' language but most lovers mimic their partners every bit as acutely - 6th October
 * schools know how to inspire boys'' - No wonder so many parents are removing boys from the state system and placing them in single-sex prep schools - 29th September
 * child-friendly divorce has arrived'' - If children's needs are to be primary – which clearly they ought to be – we need a better system of divorce law than the outmoded, adversarial model - 22nd September
 * doesn't thrill to the hum of a Spitfire's Merlin engine?'' - The Battle of Britain 70th anniversary air show was immensely moving – even for the girls - 8th September
 * Miliband brothers are a terrible sight'' - Rowan Pelling is fascinated – and appalled – by the idea of two siblings being pitched against one another - 1st September
 * Austen? Sorry, never heard of her'' - It's better for the customer to be ignorant than the bookseller - 1st September
 * the hard mutts should feel the force of a new law'' - A "dog attack" is often little more than a pet being exuberant or defensive - 25th August
 * are few things more stressful than a trapped cat'' - Rowan Pelling sympathises with Graeme Swann, thinks George Smiley is a better spy than James Bond will ever be, and reports a wedding message from David Cameron - 18th August
 * isn't it a big mummy that baby's having!'' - Rowan Pelling thought that baby showers were an American idea that would never catch on here - 11th August
 * prostitute who wanted to sue me...'' - As editor of the The Erotic Review, gaining notoriety in an obscenity trial was my greatest ambition - 7th August
 * and Mojitos . . . you'll have a wild time at the zoo'' - London Zoo's regeneration is a model of imaginative conservation - 4th August
 * no surprise that iPad users love a bit of old-fashioned filth'' - Every technological innovation from the printing press onwards has swiftly been adapted for the lucrative vending of smut - 28th July
 * can children no longer run naked on the beach?'' - It's demented to deck out six-year-old girls like wags on the beach - 21st July
 * Lembit, a real character doesn't have to boast about it'' - Lembit Opik keeps sitting bolt upright in his political grave - 30th June
 * a lover really have first claim on breasts?'' - Women's bodies have become so associated with sex that now a mothers' magazine has called breast-feeding 'creepy' - 29th June
 * glorious libraries civilise us all'' - Rowan Pelling defends the world of book-lovers, self-improvers, unfettered imaginations, armchair travellers and generally like-minded souls - 27th June
 * Horsley: the last of Soho's magnificent derelicts'' - The death of wit and dandy Sebastian Horsley marks the end of an era - 19th June
 * feasting and fun that are the magic of travel by train'' - Rowan Pelling has rediscovered the many rewards of train travel - 9th June
 * us woolly thinkers, churches would be deserted'' - The failings of woolly thinkers are probably less alarming than ferocious adherence to dogma - 2nd June
 * only snoop to find out how men work'' - Some women develop their IT skills simply so they can read their husband's email - 26th May
 * Miliband and David Miliband are a rare case of brotherly love'' - We are assured that the Milibands remain best of friends - 19th May
 * to Juliet: I can think of other heroines I'd rather write to'' - A new Hollywood film features the desperate lovers who write missives to Shakespeare's Juliet. Why do they bother - 11th May
 * Fleming still has a licence to thrill'' - Could Brighton take a villainous panto lesbian to its heart - 5th May
 * Lewis has ransacked our domestic fantasies'' - Rowan Pelling finds that the retailer's latest advertisement moves her to tears - 28th April
 * live death to the full'' - Going out with a bang like Malcolm McLaren should be compulsory - 25th April
 * where authors wield poison pens'' - Writers have the veneer of civility - 21st April
 * readers are seduced by gossip and naked curiosity'' - Rowan Pelling welcomes the beginning of the literary festival season - 14th April
 * in a state over nannies'' - No aspect of modern life is conducted with such tear-stained hysteria and partisan fervour as our discussions over childcare - 4th April
 * is a thing of the past'' - Like Peter Pan, two entire generations have refused to grow up - 21st March
 * children need sport, not fitness tests'' - Since when was it the Government's job, rather than the school bully's, to tell you your child was a tub of lard - 17th March
 * out the better halves'' - Giving up on policies, the party leaders parade their wives instead - 14th March
 * would all benefit from five-star labour wards'' - Midwives do their best, but there simply aren't enough of them - 10th March
 * mothers should have a scam of their own'' - Slashing child benefit for wealthy families is the kind of arrow in Middle England's cashmere-clad back that could lose David Cameron the election - 3rd March
 * rather work for Mr Angry than a quiet assassin'' - Real bullies are sly, manipulative and masters of psychological warfare - unlike Gordon Brown - 24th February
 * the Tate, Mummy, I want to see the scaffolding'' - Fabulous views of London's traffic are far more thrilling to small children than modern art - 17th February
 * so difficult to know Mr Right from wrong'' - Women of child-bearing years are bombarded by conflicting relationship advice - 10th February
 * sexual revolution has mellowed men like Martin Amis'' - Men have evolved, too: Martin Amis's generation of fathers is so much warmer than its predecessor - 3rd February
 * this another triumph for the finger-jabbing blame culture?'' - The litigation culture makes Britain a poorer place - 27th January
 * babies should be shown the door'' - Rowan Pelling salutes the Italian minister who believes a rule should be passed for children to leave home at 18 - 20th January
 * lament the decline of the family stroll?'' - Rowan Pelling is dubious about the benefits of a family walk - despite research suggesting its value - 13th January
 * the G spot doesn't exist after all? Thank God'' - It always seemed to me that the G spot had been invented solely to terrorise women - 6th January



Articles: 2009

 * are a steal – it's the shoppers being fleeced'' - All the best evidence suggests we only have one shoy at this life, so why burden your existence with the stale leftovers from the Christmas retail orgy - 30th December
 * he doesn't like the Lego, I'll sell it to pay off the mortgage'' - Tracking down a Lego Star Wars kit is like looking for an osprey egg - 23rd December
 * the family silver –who gets the festive fairy?'' - One of the saddest side-effects of our obsession with "lifestyle" is the tyranny of trendy trees - 16th December
 * Blair can't stop counting the pennies'' - For some people, there are never enough trinkets, lecture tours and jaunts to pop stars' mansions to go round - 9th December
 * activity in the Forest sounds familiar'' - The Rev Nick Bromfield, of the Forest of Dean, should look more closely at the supposed satanists in his parish - 2nd December
 * cheque stubs tell my life story better than any diary'' - How will I placate my godson or keep track of life's milestones if the chequebook is phased out - 25th November
 * a man put a price on wedded bliss? Yes – £18,000'' - Men generally don't rush to the altar, but endless surveys show they're happier when hitched - 18th November
 * – but only because Belle de Jour wrote so well'' - The unmasking of call-girl blogger Belle de Jour as a serious research scientist appears to contradict all we think we know about the oldest profession. But the British have more secrets than we care to admit - 17th November
 * a big difference between banter and bullying'' - I'm no Harriet Harman, but how can professional women in the 21st century allegedly be written off as "bimbos"? - 11th November 2009
 * wish the BBC would treat people as adults'' - To watch the BBC’s bosses writhe over first the Ross and Brand debacle, then the recent Frankie Boyle affair, has been like seeing Violet Elizabeth Bott throw a tantrum - 4th November
 * is a child wearing a bin on his head'' - At last, research has confirmed that having children is exhilerating and life-enhancing - 28th October
 * writers will never lose the plots'' - Has any tale been more novelistic than the trial of Edward Erin for administering poison to his lover Bella Prowse - 21st October
 * bar-hopped and sunbathed during my trip to a war zone'' - Tourism can be a better friend to the peace process than petitions - 14th October
 * dickens of a mess in the BBC drama department'' - Britain's most celebrated practitioner of the bonnet drama, Andrew Davies, is irate that the BBC is only interested in the most well-known classics - 30th September
 * Michelle Obama has shown, women will only bury the hatchet in their enemy's head'' - I can ignore slights against myself, but anyone who attacks my husband is marked for life - 23rd September
 * posh totty drives us potty'' - The trial of Guinness heiress Clare Irby shows that we're captivated by posh girls behaving badly - 20th September
 * death of Marcus the sheep was a lesson to us all'' - Why are animal rights protestors so terminally dim, after the uproar at Lydd Primary School over the slaughter of Marcus the sheep - 16th September
 * my husband have loved me if I hadn't worn short skirts?'' - Men and women are looking for very different things from a relationship - 9th September
 * binge drink because adults think it is cool and exciting'' - Our drinking culture is so entrenched that it's no wonder teenagers turn to alcohol - 2nd September
 * Egypt's pharaohs suffer from backpacker fatigue'' - Hordes of tourists are damaging Egypt's ancient tombs, but the replicas planned for the gawping masses will be no more alluring than Las Vegas - 26th August
 * your foot down – ignore those back-seat drivers'' - Marital bliss depends on separate vehicles - 19th August
 * a cure for swine flu, and so much more'' - It's a rare day when I don't have a hip flask on my person: you never know when someone will assault your personal space with a cough or sneeze - 5th August
 * else would you see a rock star helping the WI?'' - Glastonbury, Port Eliot and Latitude make a more relaxed 'Season' than Glyndebourne and Ascot - 29th July
 * bland, busty Barbie - the embodiment of evil is back'' - Hamleys' prediction of bumper sales of the 50-year-old doll is depressing - 22nd July
 * gardens are still a little breath of fresh air'' - The drastic erosion of Britain's domestic garden space in recent years has been an absolute disgrace - 15th July
 * are redundant, but let's keep them anyway'' - Without men, there would be no one to remove spiders from the bath - 8th July
 * deserve prizes, too'' - School prize-giving is a great way of honouring high-fliers - but we shouldn't overlook the low-achievers - 1st July
 * vanity makes him truly unattractive'' - I find it far easier to understand Max Mosley's admission that he paid young women to spank him than Berlusconi's belief that lissom beauties flood to his villas without inducements - 24th June
 * must learn that no good comes from a kiss and tell'' - Women have much to learn from men about courtesy in matters of the heart - 10th June
 * for those days of catfights and sequinned G-strings'' - They don't make bonkbusters like they used to - 3rd June
 * more fun to be had on an allotment than gardening'' - Allotments should be about escapism not how much produce you can grow - 27th May
 * expenses: does a £1,000 rocking chair help them do their job?'' - If Ikea furniture is good enough for us, it's good enough for MPs - 20th May
 * are too greedy for their own good'' - When once they were content with saucepans, today's couples demand iPods, plasma TVs and a Nintendo Wii - 13th May
 * five-star eccentric who made all our lives look drab'' - Many moons ago, when I worked as a dogsbody on Private Eye, I witnessed an intriguing after-hours sub-culture - 6th May
 * fail me when it comes to public speaking'' - Sir Jim Rose thinks that children should be taught to "recognise when to use formal language." Damn right, they should - 29th April
 * where the morals of Monopoly have got us'' - This innocent-looking board game has probably had a corrosive influence on western morals - 22nd April
 * baby babble is now recorded as a learning target'' - The need for constant form-filling treats childcare professionals like morons - 15th April
 * hostile jibes about being fat worked, we'd all be thin'' - The plan to make GPs chivvy their patients into losing weight is bound to end in big, fat failure - 8th April
 * those blue movies are boring - ask an eroticist'' - High quality pornography does not exist - 1st April
 * Marie Antoinette really have graced the Aperitif Bar in Blackpool's Imperial Hotel?'' - Blackpool has become a desolate playground for drunken stag parties - 25th March
 * the planet the Vivienne Westwood way'' - Fashion isn't going to change the world. But don't try telling that to the fashionistas - 18th March
 * least cads in blazers gave you something for your money'' - 'Far better to be conned by a man who looks like David Niven in his prime,' - 11th March
 * the joy of sex education: is there a right way to tell them?'' - Most teens would rather chew off their own arm than be open with their parents on any topic, but particularly sex - 25th February
 * person's cathartic release can be another person's torture'' - Venting your feelings in print can be very therapeutic, but nor for all concerned - 18th February
 * cleans up after the Cambridge class warriors?'' - Undergraduates at Emmanuel College, Cambridge, are up in arms - 11th February
 * is the friend of the congenital skiver'' - I do not think Britain's schools and industry grind to a halt; I think they decide to stop functioning - 4th February
 * isn't just a feminist issue – it's everybody's problem now'' - It seems no one is free of the modern contagion that is poor body image - not even Gordon Brown - 28th January
 * she was your first love. It's time you got over it, boys'' - Can falling in love at an impressionable age damage your future happiness - 21st January
 * can’t make it a crime to be connected'' - The Government's war on the middle classes is a waste of time and energy - 14th January
 * demise is a blow to an era of aspiration'' - The news that Wedgwood has gone into receivership strikes a blow at the very heart of middle England - 7th January



Articles: 2008

 * is the limit when you have to choose names'' - How do thousands of parents arrive at the same decision when naming their children? - 31st December 2008
 * Christmas needn't be miserable'' - If you are tightening your belt this Yuletide, take some tips from my late mother. Austerity Christmas was pretty much trademarked by Ma Pelling, cash-strapped mother of five - 24th December 2008
 * have such a gift for wrapping presents'' - A new gift-wrapping service for men too hopeless to wrap their presents makes you proud to be British - 17th December 2008
 * who can teach just aren't being allowed to'' - It would be nice to think only those with a vocation will sign up to be teachers, but many will enlist for the pension and long summer hols - 10th December 2008
 * dearer the wedding...'' - Grandiose nuptials don't just bankrupt the unhappy couple; they empty out the wallets of the guests - 3rd December 2008
 * twisted sense of humour can help in this twisted world'' - There's something drastically awry when social workers are dismissed for forwarding tasteless emails but keep their jobs when a child in their care dies - 26th November 2008
 * at dancing, seduces like a moose'' - Many believe Shaw's maxim that dancing is "a vertical expression of a horizontal desire". In other words: dance like an elk, seduce like a moose - 19th November 2008
 * rules won't stop a snooty parent'' - on the Government's perpetual attempts at social engineering through education - 5th November 2008
 * pubs staring extinction in the face'' - pubs are closing as 1·8 million fewer pints are being sold every day compared to last year - 29th October 2008
 * make better bigamists'' - Is there any such thing as a normal family life - 15th October 2008
 * brings out Ryanair's good side'' - While the global economy may implode, customer service improves - 8th October 2008
 * look out for the dons'' - a carapace of cynicism to see Freshers through the inevitable traumas of university life - 1st October 2008
 * Smith is not interested in the welfare of prostitutes'' - 24th September 2008
 * pitfalls of web regulation'' - The founder of the world wide web faces a mammoth task in trying to instigate some sort of kite-mark to discriminate science from falsehood - 17th September 2008
 * don't like routine, so why should baby?'' - 10th September 2008
 * down - you're driving me insane with speed rage'' - the undiluted loathing that those of us who live on residential side streets or in sleepy villages feel for beastly, whizzing vehicles - 3rd September 2008
 * it's the rage to be pushy'' - It used to be clear what pushy meant - Violet Elizabeth Bott's father - but it is now seen as a virtue - 27th August 2008
 * Blyton is Britain's best loved author; how times have changed'' - 20th August 2008
 * 40-year-old friend should hearten those too scared to wed'' - 13th August 2008
 * this hidden treasure before everyone else'' - 6th August 2008
 * isn't the only place to find literary satisfaction'' - 30th July 2008
 * Brown's holiday plans land Gordon Brown in deep water'' - 23rd July 2008
 * proud if your daughter becomes a bunny girl'' - 16th July 2008
 * time with the hard rump of the spanking community'' - 9th July 2008
 * real shopping experience beats eBay anyday'' - 2nd July 2008
 * do we have to go to France for good manners?'' - 25th June 2008
 * nightmare of breast feeding in public'' - 18th June 2008
 * Apprentice: Everyone's better for failing'' - 11th June 2008
 * fate lies in the hands of bureaucrats'' - 4th June 2008
 * must lead the fight against knives'' - 27th May 2008
 * crunch: Who still has money to burn?'' - 21st May 2008
 * we may be, but we are far from wet'' - 14th May 2008
 * more of my children, and doing less'' - 7th May 2008
 * turns in Edwardian Dad's favour'' - 30th April 2008
 * Dealing with Britain's binge-drinking drunks - 5th March 2008
 * Rowan Williams, consumerism and children - 27th February 2008
 * We neglect the elderly - 20th February 2008
 * Be very afraid of Britain's teenage girls - 13th February 2008
 * The latest Northern Rock investment hotspot - 6th February 2008
 * Without a school, a village won't live long - 30th January 2008
 * Why women fight the 'Daddy Wars' - 23rd January 2008
 * Family history a matter of identity - 16th January 2008
 * James Purnell's new Renaissance is hollow - 9th January 2008
 * A girl's best friend will be her girl friend - 2nd January 2008



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