Natalie Haynes



Profile:
Full name: Natalie Haynes

Area of interest: Contemporary lifestyle and current events

Journals/Organisation: The Independent

Email: [mailto:natalie@nataliehaynes.com natalie@nataliehaynes.com]

Personal website: http://www.nataliehaynes.com

Website:

Blog:

Representation: Comedy CV

Networks:



Biography:
About: http://www.nataliehaynes.com/biog.html

Education:

Career: "Natalie is a guest contributor for The Independent and writes 'The Thing Is...' column for their Opinion pages. She was a guest contributor for The Times from 2006 - 2010. She has also written for The Guardian, The Observer, The Sunday Times, Sunday Telegraph and The Big Issue. She writes a monthly film column for The Reader's Digest magazine." - http://www.nataliehaynes.com/journalism.html
 * Radio, TV, journalism, live shows

Current position/role: guest contributor for The Independent and writes 'The Thing Is...' column for their Opinion pages; former guest contributor to The Times

Other roles/Main role: Stand-up comedian, journalist, author

Other activities:

Disclosures:

Viewpoints/Insight:
 * Meet the Author: Natalie Haynes (video)
 * More 4 - Starkey's Last Word Natalie Haynes defends anti-animal testing views, Professor Steve Jones gives the medical side (Video) December 2005
 * Interview: Fast talking Natalie is falling for Dick Van Dyke, News Letter, Belfast, 18th January 2007

Broadcast media: http://www.nataliehaynes.com/biog.html

Video:

Controversy/Criticism:

Awards/Honours:

Scoops:

Other:



Books & Debate:


Latest work: The Great Escape (London: Simon & Schuster Children's, 2007) OCLC 137313413

Speaking/Appearances: Upcoming gigs

Debate: 

The Independent:
Column name:

Remit/Info:

Section:

Role: guest contributor

Pen-name:

Email:

Website:

Commissioning editor:

Day published:

Regularity:

Column format:

Average length:


 * see also 'The Thing Is...



Articles:

 * Andy Murray doesn’t need our love – get used to it - It is the behaviour of someone bitten by the tabloids once too often - 8th July 2013
 * We don’t want the corgis to go hungry – but, really, a £2m pay rise? - The pay of the Queen's staff has, sadly, remained frozen - 28th June
 * From the White Queen to Agatha Christie's Marple - there’s no time like the present to switch off - Enough with the period dramas, can't we have some current political commentary? - 18th June 2013
 * It's a coup for Liberace: By sharing his own tale of sexually transmitted disease, Michael Douglas has pulled off a promotional masterpiece - The star will take on the role of Liberace, who died of Aids, in a new biopic - 4th June 2013
 * Rod’s not just Number One – he’s a lesson in getting your groove back - 21st May 2013
 * What do we do when everyone’s called everyone else a Nazi? - Tthe Anne Frank Fund and Anne Frank Foundation dispute invokes Godwin's Law - 11th May 2013
 * A rare victory for east London’s labouring classes, whoever they are - Saving the Marquis pub keeps alive more than an eyesore - 4th May 2013
 * The quick house-sale industry targets the vulnerable, but show me a house seller who isn’t - 19th April 2013
 * MMR and measles in South Wales: In fear of the unknown, we risked the well-known - Common sense eventually triumphed over MMR jab scaremongering, but it took 15 years, hundreds of new measles cases and countless misinformed headlines - 8th April 2013
 * As a way of expressing ourselves, jokes are less destructive than riots - Bassem Youssef is probably best known to Western audiences as Egypt’s Jon Stewart - 2nd April 2013
 * Surely the whole point of a quiz is its essential uselessness - Complaints have been made to the BBC that Barry Simmons shouldn’t be allowed to enter another quiz show because he is a ‘professional’ - 12th March 2013
 * Living in an unwanted-call hell - My solution to cold calls: make companies pay so we can block them - 5th March 2013
 *  Me and my police commissioner - whoever that might be - could both learn something about democracy from the ancient Greeks - 26th February 2013
 * Oh, mother! Why couldn’t you break your hand off-peak? - It's no surprise that train companies receive poor customer satisfaction ratings in the latest survey. Plus, a snapshot of times past on the BBC - 19th February 2013
 * You're never too old to get hit by a car - so stop, look and listen to my advice about crossing the road - 12th February 2013
 * Alfred Hitchcock changed the way we watch films, yet he remains a complete unknown - 4th February 2013
 * It’s time we relaunched the grandparent in fiction – and in real life - A report from Age UK reveals that a third of over-65s think they’re lucky if they see their grandchildren once a month - 29th January 2013
 * Modern retail crime is hardly Les Miserables, but people are still pilfering food for hungry children - 22nd January 2013
 * No word yet on 'boo' to a goose, but thankfully saying 'woof' to a dog is no longer punishable by law - Common sense will tell you an insult is dependent on the intent of the speaker. A thin skin doesn’t mean you’re entitled to the protection of the law - 16th January 2013
 * Warning! Your investment in Damien Hirst can go down as well as up - A price drop in the art market, plus the unexpected success of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D proves one thing: there's no accounting for taste - 8th january 2013
 * Hold the personality please, Pret a Manger - I only came in for a sandwich - The eyes of sandwich-eaters have been opened by this unseemly spat over the dismissal of an employee - 5th January 2013
 * Why commute when you can beam to work? - Our writer wonders if the latest robot craze will really catch on - 26th December 2012
 * Please don’t send me any books – unless you own a time machine - It's Christmas, and I love reading, but I don't need any more books - 18th December 2012
 * Hitler and the Henrys: let’s not teach students the same subjects over and over again - Michael Gove has been worried for a while about the lack curriculum in history teaching - 11th December 2012
 * British Comedy Awards: The serious business of finding new ways to make people laugh - Award-winning comedy is difficult - and expensive - to make - 4th December 2012
 * Furbies are back in fashion, another reason to be thankful for Christmas without children - If children don't get the right gift come Christmas morning, the day is ruined - 27th November 2012
 * Supermarket multi-buy offers can BOGOF. Who goes shopping to practice their mental arithmetic? - A Which? survey has discovered that the price of one in 10 products go up when they’re in a multi-buy deal. Just who are supermarkets trying to kid? - 20th November 2012
 * Movie etiquette: a screening of James Bond's Skyfall is no place to change your Facebook status - Empire cinemas have come up with a banned list. Our writer has a better version - 14th November 2012
 * A heckled comedian can answer back. But for actors the show must go on - as Sir Peter Hall knows - At the climax of a performance of Uncle Vanya, the film and theatre director interrupted from the stalls to make it known he thought the performance sub-par - 6th November 2012
 * Stop knocking Halloween. It’s a chance to crack my teeth on toffee apples - Brits buy in to spookiness, so bring on the pumpkins and trick-or-treating - 30th October 2012
 * Fall of a Roman emperor: how the conviction of Silvio Berlusconi repeats the pattern of history - Though a farcical and fraudulent leader of Italy, the former Prime Minister was an autocrat very much in the mould of the emperor Tiberius - among others - 27th October 2012
 * If I got a second home, I’m afraid my first home would leave me - Notebook: Why one home should be enough for anyone and is Brad Pitt the right choice to advertise Chanel No 5? - 22nd October 2012
 * My US paradox: why are the shops so nice but the politics so nasty? - It's the American way to look good in politics by putting other candidates down - 16th October 2012
 * Cherish the grey army of volunteers – none of us would survive without their dedication - As the population increases and we're living longer, we shouldn't worry about our ageing population, but think about what they contribute - 2nd October 2012
 * If we expect musicians to perform for nothing, there won’t be any left - Even though it's been shown that the people who pirate the most are the people who pay the most, tickets are expensive and touring fees are a rip-off - 18th September 2012
 * Even a £300m house comes with a bongo-playing bloke in the basement - You could get 1,200 of my one-bedroom flat for the same money, so why bother? - 14th September 2012
 * Philip Roth knows his own book but let's not judge Wikipedia harshly - Notebook: Two "reliable" sources aren't always better than one and why you should never search for a naked Piers Morgan - 12th September 2012
 * Natalie Haynes: All these TV series set in the 1950s are really contemporary drama - 3rd September 2012
 * The Essex lion is ludicrous, but that doesn't stop us wanting it to be true - 29th August 2012
 * Natalie Haynes: We may be fat, but we don't like the Government going on about it - 21st August 2012


 * archive



The Times:
Column name:

Remit/Info: "She thought about what worried her in everyday life, and pondered the problems that seemed to beset the society in which we live" - from Natalie's website, describing her show, Watching The Detectives

Section: Features

Role: Columnist

Pen-name:

Email: natalie@nataliehaynes.com

Website: Timesonline / Guest contributors

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Saturday or Monday

Regularity: Two or three times per month

Column format:

Average length: 800 words



Articles:

 * Chelsea’s wedding was fab. I didn’t have to go - I don’t like small talk with strangers, I don’t like wearing fancy shoes and I don’t like sitting at a table with people I don’t know - 2nd August 2010
 * student sets up hit website. What’s so wrong?'' - The last UCL graduate to make the news was the Pants Bomber - 1st June 2010
 * trousers are a crime – but only against fashion'' - If you are mugged by a wearer, how fast will he be able to run? - 6th May 2010
 * less fruit will mean there are fewer broken arms'' - Ginger nuts are a biscuit and a vegetable. That counts as a win - 8th April 2010
 * you thinking of putting money into an Isa? Think again'' - Banks reward the fickle and penalise the loyal — interest rates suddenly drop after a year in one of these investments - 1st April 2010
 * things are better lost in translation'' - Google’s innovation is a new speech impediment - 8th February 2010
 * should give stars a sporting chance'' - Bankers may not be able to walk away but runners can chose not to race in London - 18th January 2010
 * Avatar is still a turkey'' - Sci-fi fans should know that any time a race of aliens has an apostrophe in their name is a time to worry - 29th December 2009
 * movie repeats are a great festive ritual'' - Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, even Gremlins: their annual return into our living rooms is comforting - 24th December 2009
 * smell a rat in our concern for this rodent'' - If showbiz animals can’t be eaten, I’ll train up some Christmas turkeys - 8th December 2009
 * perfect day to buy Christmas presents'' - December 7 is the busiest day for online retailers. I’ll play my part . . . - 5th December 2009
 * can be poor and not overdrawn, you know'' - Why do we expect to borrow money from banks without asking? - 26th November 2009
 * love vampires. We’re only human'' - Today’s fang-baring bloodsucker is more a Jane Austen romantic hero than a Hammer horror villain - 19th November 2009
 * never escapes politics'' - Democracy and entertainment have been inextricably linked since Ancient Greece - 4th October 2009
 * you can do Christmas even if you don’t do God'' - Atheists are shaking off their joyless image and trying to put forward a positive face. But most of all they just want to have fun - 1st October 2009
 * post a day has become a distant memory'' - These strikes are driving people like me away from the Royal Mail - 18th September 2009
 * riddance to frosted light bulbs'' - I’ve just looked at my electricity bill. It’s a miracle - 1st September 2009
 * your NHS records to stay private? Good luck'' - If you don’t want your health records stored online, you may have some trouble finding the 'opt out' section - 20th August 2009
 * is hell. But on screen it should be fun'' - In Tarantino’s new movie, a whole genre is back on form - 13th August 2009
 * the new generation can’t stand up'' - Once Edinburgh in August was the only place for a young comic to be. Now it just costs too much - 6th August 2009
 * power has given 118800 a bloody nose'' - What is especially interesting about this exercise of people power is that no one seems to have seen it coming - 18th July 2009
 * ‘Adults only’ should mean more than porn'' - The decision to reclassify certain films strikes a blow for grown-ups. Not all movies or books have to be child-friendly - 17th June 2009
 * Trek is still boldly going with the important issues'' - If you want real artistic radicalism, tune into sci-fi - 9th May 2009
 * shall we do with the captured pirate?'' - The story of Captain Richard Phillips is more like an action movie. I blame Johnny Depp - 14th April
 * can't tell April Fool's stories from real ones'' - Have a read of any decent news website and there's the evidence - 1st April 2009
 * love that dare not show itself'' - The Damned United features that rare thing - two men locked in a passionate emotional friendship - 20th March 2009
 * £40 treats kept the economy going'' - The small spending of small shareholders is essential to recovery - 17th February 2009
 * Titus reborn'' - There are ancient and modern parallels wherever you look, starting with Barack Obama - 20th January 2009
 * aren't doing their customers a favour'' - Leap-second resolutions for the retail industry - 1st January 2009
 * alternative Christmas carol service'' - An order of service for a non-religious celebration - 18th December 2008
 * earn virtually no interest, but inflation is 4.5%'' - I am being kicked in the teeth for being a careful saver - 5th December 2008
 * rule: don't mock the weak'' - A joke is a delicate balancing act, as Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross's ill-judged prank shows - 29th October 2008



News & updates:


References:


Links:

 * http://www.nataliehaynes.com/journalism.html
 * http://www.nataliehaynes.com/links.html
 * Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natalie_Haynes Wikipedia