Victoria Coren Mitchell



Profile:
Full name: Victoria Coren Mitchell

Area of interest: Topical subjects across Society, Culture and Politics, also Poker

Journals/Organisation: The Observer | The Guardian

Email:

Personal website: http://www.victoriacoren.com

Website: http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/victoriacoren

Blog: http://www.victoriacoren.com/main/blog

Representation: http://www.victoriacoren.com/main/contact

Networks: https://twitter.com/#!/victoriacoren



Biography:
About: "Victoria Coren currently writes weekly columns for The Guardian and The Observer, presents the BBC4 quiz show Only Connect and the Radio 4 comedy series Heresy, and plays poker as a member of PokerStars Team Pro UK" - http://www.victoriacoren.com/main/biography

Education: Oxford University

Career: Wrote her first column about her life as a teenager in the Daily Telegraph when aged 13 Current position/role: columnist


 * also writes/written for:

Other roles/Main role: writer, presenter, poker player (see: http://www.victoriacoren.com/main/poker | Texas Holdem poker player)

Other interests:

Disclosures:

Viewpoints/Insight:
 * Interview with Sportinglife.com (see: Sporting Life
 * Victoria Coren, poker champion, on Casino Royale The Guardian, 22nd November 2006
 * Flush with cash: 'Victoria Coren, who won £500,000 in last year's European championship, explains how her win changed her life - and how a game for crooks and cabbies has been transformed', The Guardian, 21st September 2007
 * My dad's memorial service was going so well. Then the ghouls turned up - Plans for a celebration of the life of broadcaster and columnist Alan Coren were in full swing - The Guardian, 21st December 2008

Broadcast media:

Video: Experienced Radio and TV broadcaster, see IMDb
 * Late Night Poker Series on C4
 * Presenter of the BBC TV programme Balderdash and Piffle and BBC Radio 4’s Off the Page programme
 * Commentates on the Sky Sports poker programme William Hill Poker Grand Prix 2

Controversy/Criticism:

Awards/Honours:

Scoops:

Other: Daughter of Alan Coren and sister of Giles Coren, married to David Mitchell



Books & Debate:
http://www.victoriacoren.com/main/books
 * Love 16: love, parents and other problems (1989) OCLC 19353111
 * Once more, with feeling: how we tried to make the greatest porn film ever (2002) OCLC 51316897

Latest work: Chocolate and cuckoo clocks: the essential Alan Coren OCLC233788807 October 2008 (anthology of humorous writing by the late Alan Coren, edited by his children, Giles and Victoria)

Speaking/Appearances: http://www.victoriacoren.com/main/news

Debate: 

The Observer:
Column name:

Remit/Info: Topical subjects across Society, Culture and Politics

Section:

Role: Columnist

Pen-name:

Email:

Website: http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/victoriacoren+commentisfree/commentisfree

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Sunday

Regularity: Weekly

Column format:

Average length:



Articles: 2017

 * Stop the world, I need a break - The news is terrible, but here are some things to force it out of your mind for a moment - 18th June
 * I’m so glad to spoil this film for you - Critics have raved over Nocturnal Animals, joined now by Bafta. Well, I’m happy to be out of line on this - 22nd January



Articles: 2016

 * 2016 – the mother of all awful years - Maternal fear may be colouring 2016 a darker shade of black but festive frivolity eludes me - 18th December
 * Mary Berry’s recipe for great TV … and other deliciously random combinations - New shows from Bake Off’s Mary, Mel and Sue show it’s as easy as pie to make hit series - 11th December
 * A ‘new’ Pirelli calendar? No, it’s just a retread - So the tyre company’s 2017 calendar ‘girls’ are older and even allowed clothes. That doesn’t make it ‘feminist’ - 4th December
 * Manxiety needs fempathy: in defence of mansplaining - Actually, chaps, we women do know stuff, yet if explaining things keeps you happy, do carry on - 27th November
 * Six safe subjects for small talk in a Brexit- and Corbyn-torn world - Conversation has turned toxic in our bitterly divided land. Here’s my survival guide… - 23rd October
 * Welcome home, but only if you’re rich - First-class travel is one thing, but charging to jump the queue at passport control is immoral - 2nd October
 * Yes, great art. Can I go now? - Pictures bore me. Sculpture leaves me cold. Thank goodness other people enjoy going to galleries - 4th September
 * Why I can’t bank on Lloyds any more - I adore my local branch and I loathe the way the bosses are closing so many of them - 14th August
 * Boris Johnson’s Chevening farce will run and run - Theresa May’s house share ploy lets Brexiteers gain an insight into how the rest of us live - 24th July
 * Why is Cluedo quite so clueless? - Replacing Mrs White with a sexy scientist does little to bring the game up to date - 9th July
 * Think your child is fat? Well keep your opinion to yourself - Think it’s helpful and kind to comment on someone’s appearance? Well, think again - 3rd July
 * When you wish upon a bra… - Women shop for lingerie they never wear because they are actually buying a dream - 26th June
 * Why I’m so conflicted by zoos - They fill us full of wonder and awe. And yet, there’s a wrongness at their heart that we can’t deny - 19th June
 * Office’s bad joke email: why a shoe shop shouldn’t tell people to shave their legs - We are indundated with a witless tsunami of PR that we are helpless to stem - 12th June
 * David Cameron's cans: when mockers become the mocked - A warning to those followers of the pack who sneer at the ‘uncool’. Your day in the sun is so short… - 3rd April
 * No, Adam Johnson, child abuse is not a grey area - Footballer should not receive a lighter sentence just because his victim was nearly 16 - 20th March



Articles: 2015

 * The doctor won’t see you now - Once your GP was always there when needed. Now you’d best plan illness well ahead - 29th March



Articles: 2014

 * Honestly! Do I look like a video pirate? - Memo to 20th Century Fox: your anti-piracy sermon on illegal DVDs is preaching to the converted - 28th September
 * Dear recorder teacher, I'm so sorry - Far too late, I've realised I should have taken my childhood music lessons more seriously - 21st September
 * Politicians, a plea for pledges that please us - Politicians rarely keep their promises, so they might as well offer us stuff we'd all hurrah - 14th September
 * Women's fashion: control pants are now so hip - Don't follow the fashion herd. Strike out on your own for a truly original autumn look - 31st August
 * Heard the one about women on TV? - Not getting on the box means female comics don't earn the money to tour and hone their skills - 27th July
 * The Sorgenfresser Worry Eater: what excellent stress sense - A cuddly toy that eats your worries? I need one now – and it will definitely never go unfed - 20th July
 * After Harry Potter's life as an adult, what Dorothy did next - A grown-up Harry Potter features in a new JK Rowling story. What about other literary children? - 13th July
 * Andy Murray's meltdown explained - As an old poker hand, I have a theory why the Wimbledon champion blew up so violently - 6th July
 * Uber? Not for me. Let's give London cabbies a fare deal - Uber might be the coming thing for getting a taxi, but I prefer a black cab any day – or night - 15th June
 * In defence of Kirstie Allsopp - Those who rush to vilify the TV presenter for offering a different view on female life choices are the ones who are truly setting a poor example to girls - 8th June
 * One Direction have nothing on my experiments with pot - The One Direction 'cannabis' video is not shocking. Not compared with my very own 'drug shame'… - 1st June
 * For the edification of Ed Miliband - It was unwise to mix Mr Miliband and a bacon butty. Here are some better photo-op ideas... - 25th May
 * Prison books ban is a good start, Mr Grayling - There are other privileges the justice minister could add to his proscribed list - 30th March
 * Baroness Warsi and her Eton message - Baroness Warsi's joke on Agenda about Old Etonians may have been easy. But she does have a point - 23rd March
 * I'm in love with the spirit of the Ban Bossy campaign - I used to be pushy; now I'm more 'feminine' and bat my eyelashes. Frankly, it's loathsome - 16th March
 * William and Kate just like us? We'd prefer them to act like royals - It's no use the royals pretending they're ordinary. They're not. And what's more, we don't wish them to be - 2nd March
 * Reading bedtime stories becomes tales of the unexpected - So parents are putting celebrity characters into stories? Here's how it could work even better - 23rd February
 * Between labelling Woody Allen a child molester or his daughter a liar, I feel utterly stuck - Dylan Farrow's accusations of sexual abuse leave me in a miserable moral conundrum - 9th February
 * Fees for state schools is an evil idea - General taxation, not charging the wealthy, as Anthony Seldon proposes, is the only fair and proper way to fund education - 26th January
 * Film ratings: a little advice for the BBFC - The censors have been rethinking their movie certificates. Well, I have some ideas of my own - 19th January
 * Bosch parking app: the first step to world domination - Bosch's parking app may just seem like a way to help you park the car, but it's the first step in the rise of the machines - 12th January



Articles: 2013

 * My very own Christmas gift to you - Fret ye not over presents for your loved ones. Follow my festive guide - 15th December
 * A most treasured Diamond - Nigella Lawson's first husband was a brilliant man who adored her and who led me astray… - 8th December
 * Mary, Mary, quite contrary: PL Travers and Mary Poppins - The PL Travers I uncover in my documentary was a tricky busybody. Nothing like me… - 24th November
 * The alternative Christmas message - The John Lewis festive advert contains a subtext: the fewer gifts the merrier - 17th November
 * Are you in a sham marriage? - Border Agency officials ruined a wedding last week, but maybe we should all take their test… - 10th November
 * National service supporters: get fell in, you 'orrible lot - People who want to force kids into the army are the ones who really need to smarten their ideas up - 3rd November
 * Roman Polanski and the sin of simplification - The Samantha Geimer/Roman Polanski case demonstrates our terrible dread of nuance - 29th September
 * Save money. Ban education - Never mind fretting about the cost of meals. The thing is, can we afford schools? - 22nd September
 * My veil epiphany - Just what was Birmingham Met thinking of when it tried to stop women wearing the niqab? - 15th September
 * God swapped for gobbledygook - The Brownies' vacuous new Promise is typical of the prevalent abuse of language - 8th September
 * Why the country should bank on women in a crisis - Female poker players are good gamblers. It's time we were running the economy - 25th August
 * Media plurality is now about much more than curbing Rupert Murdoch - The BBC, and online media, are included in the government's consultation on plurality in the industry. And about time, too - 4th August
 * Vicky Pryce and the high cost of being unlikable - Vicky Pryce has been stripped of her honour and humiliated anew. Is that really what you wanted? - 4th August
 * Bank notes need more women - Jane Austen will be gracing a tenner. But what about all those other famous females? - 28th July
 * G8 leaders reveal their TripAdvisor guide to Lough Erne - Now we know what statesmen really think, Northern Ireland tourism is set for a boost - 23rd June
 * This girl just wants to have fun - So many things that were jolly have lost their shine these days. Thank goodness for eBay - 16th June
 * Paris Jackson and the beauty myth - It's her plight, not her privileges, that makes Michael Jackson's daughter endearing - 9th June
 * David Cameron – give the guy a break - The PM was right to go away. What could he have done to lessen the horror of Woolwich? - 2nd June
 * The Dutch way is not for us - Abdication may be acceptable in Holland, but fiddling with institutions is not for the British - 5th May
 * Gwyneth Paltrow's got it right. Damn it - I do admire her efforts not to vanish into middle age. But I'm afraid it pains me to say so - 28th April
 * Pompeii and circumstance - Sadly, the newly discovered Roman site in London will be reburied. Bar a phallus or two - 13th April
 * George Osborne, gawd bless yer - People sneered at the chancellor's new mockney accent – but it did make him look more human - 7th April
 * Some brother David Miliband is - Good riddance to a Labour politician who wants to be admired for not standing by his own brother - 31st March
 * Justin Bieber's fallen in with the wrong crowd - If they could swap roles, Justin Bieber and Pete Townshend would both be less grumpy - 10th March
 * My verdict on our justice system - Let's have some sympathy for the Vicky Pryce jury. Sitting in judgment is a tough job - 24th February
 * Martine McCutcheon's still just loverly - Yes, there's Love Actually and My Fair Lady but I will always love Martine for being a great soap star - 17th February
 * Five reasons to leave Britain - Miriam Margolyes has quit the country. But there are bigger bugbears for going than hers - 3rd February
 * Pippa Middleton's handbag offers a modern morality tale - Paying £200 for a 'Pippa' to put your keys in isn't a bargain, it's a triumph for those who dupe us - 27th January
 * Jim Davidson: Comedy is no longer a laughing matter - Bizarrely, it seems a shame that Jim Davidson has lost his chance to return to TV in Big Brother - 6th January



Articles: 2012

 * Christmas gifts: high time for some presents of mind - Stumped for that perfect gift? Panic not. Here's the foolproof guide to the art of giving - 23rd December
 * Anne Hathaway shows us how to be free of fashion angst - The film star's dress sense is just plain weird. Plea to trendy vicars: don't try to emulate it - 16th December
 * Elisabeth Murdoch's guide to not wasting your time - What's the secret of longevity? Well, you could start by abandoning futile pursuits - 9th December
 * The best wedding guide of all - A new handbook urges vicars to be flexible about breaks from tradition. This offers hope - 4th November
 * It's elementary - I'm not a racist - What a shame that some online commentators have yet to develop a sense of humour - 21st October
 * Put that in your pipe and smoke it - Outrage doesn't even begin to cover my reaction to the idea of Lucy Liu playing Watson. - 14th October
 * My name is Bond… Jim Bond - 007 has been the epitome of high-class elegance for so long, it's time we let him live a little - 7th October
 * Give every MP a second identity - No human being could ever be as flawless as we want our public figures to be. They need alter egos - 30th September
 * Sports jocks are so half-baked - The Great British Bake Off isn't alone in proving that brains are more alluring than brawn - 2nd September
 * Let's party with the politicos - They certainly know how to get their guests going at No 10. Could it be the games they play? - 26th August
 * Don't be nice to addicts. Be fair - You don't have to feel compassion for junkies. Just accept that punishment is not at all helpful - 19th August
 * Madonna: stop giving her a bum deal - So she bares her bottom on stage. What a shame her critics don't get her message - 12th August
 * I'm a smoker who doesn't smoke - It was easy to give up, though it might not be so simple to stop eating the Percy Piglets - 5th August
 * Finally, I get the sex in Fifty Shades - EL James's erotic novel may be turning women on, but it's got nothing to do with the flesh - 29th July
 * Hop on board my time machine - Now we can see a concert starring a hologram of Hendrix, let's go for more historical events - 24th June
 * Has marmalade become toast? - These are strange times in our kitchens and they're not good for the health of the nation - 3rd June
 * Keep our curses in rude health - Ken Loach is upset he had to drop oaths from his film. But these words must not be tamed - 27th May
 * Why love trumps economics - The government harps on about 'priorities', the economy being its first. How very wrong - 20th May
 * Amarillo Slim: the man in the giant hat - Poker champion Amarillo Slim's reputation was bigger than his stetson. And now he's gone… - 6th May
 * A risk-free life? No thanks - The more we give in to the stupid rules 'saving us from ourselves', the more we lose our freedom - 22nd April
 * We must hone our lap-dancing skills - We are hosting the Olympics, foreign guests are coming and look at the state of this place - 15th April
 * So what did the troll actually say? - Liam Stacey wrote vile things. But do you know why he went to jail? Well, you should - 8th April
 * By public demand ... my heroines - You wanted to know who my female icons were. (Well, one bloke did). So here they are … and what a pantheon - 25th March
 * Girls' mags are not sexy, but sweet - You often hear that teen magazines have lost all their innocence. It's simply not true - 18th March
 * A fashion tip for Mr Cameron - So celebrities are paid to sit in the front row of catwalk shows? It could work elsewhere as well - 11th March
 * Some black and white truths at last - Praise be. An American poll has turned many media myths about women on their head - 4th March
 * Rowan Atkinson, I admire your bravery - The comedian is a rarity these days, a man prepared to speak up and make a principled stand - 26th February
 * No, Abbey, your stardom's not OK! - The fame thrust on footballers' wives is skewing the worth of true celebrity and talent - 19th February
 * We lose free speech at our peril - Yes, journalists, can be savage, but at their best are essential to upholding decency - 12th February
 * I say, do put a sock in it - The noise around us never stops. Even The Artist wasn't really silent, for heaven's sake - 5th February
 * Attacking the church is a cheap shot - Has everyone forgotten these are men of God? It's actually their job to stand up for the poor - 29th January
 * Nostalgia is such old hat - So the Americans are bowled over by Downton Abbey. They're lucky they can afford to be - 22nd January



Articles: 2011

 * Friends, do not love thy enemas - The joyless January detox is observed more faithfully than Christmas by deluded disciples - 18th December
 * Pippa Middleton's getting a bum deal here - Don't knock the girl! Toffs have been churning out 'how to' guides since the dawn of time - 4th December
 * Ed Balls - that's enough crying - It took guts for Ed Balls to admit he cries at Antiques Roadshow, but do we need to see his human side? - 27th November
 * It's not my fault I'm so rude - Despite what Emily Maitlis says, having good manners is impossible in the age of the email - 6th November
 * I pooh-pooh the pooping pooch - So mind-boggling is the Christmas top toys list, my only option is to come up with one of my own - 30th October
 * Get Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall out of the dog house - I wouldn't dream of eating a puppy. In fact, sometimes I wish I didn't eat meat at all - 16th October
 * Invasion of the body scanners - We'd all better get used to it – privacy could soon be a thing of the past, even at stations - 2nd October
 * Chris Huhne? He's full of hot air - We should shop around for our energy supplies? It's just not that easy - 25th September
 * Virtual mother knows best - Who needs parenting manuals? If you need advice, just ask someone with no kids … - 18th September
 * trolls who love brainy TV'' - Who are these weirdos who hurl abuse at contestants they see on high-class quizzes - 11th September?
 * Pitt and Angelina Jolie, I salute you'' - Far from being a sign of vulgarity or excess, hiring a train shows exquisite taste - 21st August
 * it all out. Well, sometimes'' - We all admire a heroine who speaks her mind. Often, though, it's better to button it - 14th August
 * it, we all look dire on holiday'' - Yes, Cameron's loafers and Osborne's rucksack are a giggle. But really, who are we to criticise? - 7th August
 * least Lord Coe is up to speed'' - Politicians are prone to dodging certainties. In a vague world, I'm grateful to hear one who isn't - 30th July
 * Potter and the Deadly Dullards'' - I am just so bored by all those people who think that just because something is popular, it has to be pap - 24th July
 * rots men's brains too'' - Yes, women think too much about X Factor. But let's not pretend that men are immune to pop fluff - 5th June
 * we read all about it, Arnie?'' - If you're fearful of marriage, the last thing you want to hear about is celebrity infidelity - 22nd May
 * or lads. What a choice'' - Would Eddie Izzard or David Gower lead me to the polling station on AV Day? - 8th May
 * royal wedding was a decent pageant, but who was the back-up monarch?'' - Ahead of the royal wedding, there must have been a minor member of the House of Windsor on the end of a phone somewhere, in case of emergency - 1st May
 * I shall be up at dawn to watch the royal family in all its bizarre glory'' - Our great national roadshow will be out in force as Prince William and Kate Middleton get married on Friday. Don't be too cool to enjoy it – there's no shame in celebrating (or grieving) en masse - 24th April
 * Oliver's dream was a nightmare'' - His school project only proved that most of the pupils didn't deserve the attention they got - 17th April
 * I have your attention, please?'' - MPs can now surf the net in the House of Commons. Great. Maybe they'd like the telly on too - 3rd April
 * prepared for an outrage'' - Charging huge rents for scout premises is depriving children of a chance to learn - 20th March
 * A big cheese with a small ego'' - The other royal bride-to-be is a model of down-to-earth modesty - 13th March
 * three-line whip and Mr Speaker'' - Don't read on if you are squeamish, but I have a theory about those raunchy Bercows - 6th March
 * to get this off my chest'' - My Twitter exchange with Michael Winner has left a truly nasty taste - 20th February
 * cool Radio 4? What a turn-off'' - I tried to welcome the BBC Trust's new ideas for the station. But, actually, it's glorious just as it is - 12th February
 * Middleton's parents are years ahead'' - Is the Middletons' 'cash-in' on the royal wedding evidence of their foresight? - 6th February
 * for the days of green ink'' - Insults on the internet just don't carry the same weight as handwritten hate mail - 30th January
 * Brits don't diss over dinner, Baroness Warsi'' - Baroness Warsi is wrong about Islamophobia. Our table talk is rubbish, but it's not hateful - 23rd January
 * Ramsay, don't go changing'' - Widely fancied, joyously normal people like the grumpy chef shouldn't tinker with nature - 9th January
 * cheers for Elton, say I'' - Yes, Elton and David's baby has caused the usual hoo-ha. But what exactly is wrong with giving a child a caring home? - 2nd January



Articles: 2010

 * got this special gift… for suggesting presents'' - Lists of ideas for presents are usually rubbish, but I think you'll find mine is a cut above - 19th December
 * tips for the royal wedding'' - Before betting on the colour of Kate's dress, remember these aren't normal people - 12th December
 * I didn't say to the archbishop'' - Atheism seems to get the cool, brainy people. We need witty thinkers to speak up for God - 5th December
 * to this smoker scoff'' - The anti-smoking lobby has gone way beyond health issues. Its claims are now plain ludicrous - 21st November
 * their hearts rule their heads'' - Poker was once a chancer's game. Now it's a more honourable career than the City - 14th November
 * sex is not for us all'' - It's wrong to say there's one right way to express our sexuality. We're all very different - 7th November
 * West 's teeth are a lesson in cool'' - The rapper's dental diamonds could set an example to the rest of us ordinary types - 24th October
 * Nick Clegg's lips? I'd rather not'' - The deputy prime minister has quickly become fluent in the fine art of telling political porkies - 17th October
 * holiday of the last resort'' - Does spending two weeks surrounded by blondes sound like heaven? Think again - 10th October
 * your pompoms. This isn't sport'' - Feminism's march seems to be made in boots and knickers now cheerleading is on the curriculum - 3rd October
 * Michael? Taxi for you'' - It'd be so much better for him if the singer got the munchies instead of going for a spin - 19th September
 * why they call them airport novels'' - Fancy catching up on some reading? Then don't choose easyJet's exit seats - 5th September
 * only one class of joke, and that's funny'' - Critics should stop telling comedians who they can and can't make fun of - 29th August
 * Swann song for real men'' - What sort of man is Graeme Swann that he has to drive to Asda to find a screwdriver? Hasn't he got a toolbox? - 22nd August
 * you see? It's all a trick'' - If we make a fuss over axing the Film Council we risk losing sight of the real problem - 15th August
 * Widdecombe just got sexy'' - Ann Widdecombe may be a virgin, but by putting dance ahead of the Pope the ex-MP has shown an admirable lust for life - 1st August
 * law: I said sorry, so why the lawyers?'' - People resort to the courts too quickly, making libel law a real danger to free speech - 27th June
 * you're single, shut up and enjoy it'' - You don't have to be alone these days, but if it makes you unhappy, stop being so picky - 20th June
 * Bono's old sock? No thanks'' - The public's desire to purchase celebrity cast-offs has tipped over into the unhealthy - 13th June
 * and the City 2: What happened to good old Sex?'' - Sex and the City 2 may just be the most radical and challenging film of the year. How odd - 6th June
 * men? They haven't got the foggiest'' - Bournemouth's cross with the Met Office, but I like the fact the forecast's always wrong - 30th May
 * the perfect beach books'' - Read all about the saucy ambassador and his young American mistress - 23rd May
 * curious case of uppity Uppingham'' - We celebrate a rebellion at a private school while accepting violence in the state system - 9th May
 * one foolhardy OAP'' - Scientists are suggesting older people take up judo. Back to the drawing board, chaps - 25th April
 * about a bucket seat'' - By announcing that passengers must pay to use the loo, Ryanair has truly plumbed a new low - 11th April
 * should we vote for any of these puddings?'' - If you find none of the leaders very appetising, your duty is clear - 11th April (Cif at the polls)
 * the QT, QT was really hard'' - An appearance on David Dimbleby's debate show was going to be a doddle... - 4th April
 * down, Sarkozy senior'' - The French president's father boasts about his love life. Spare us – and your son - 28th March
 * spectres are back at the feast'' - A grisly twist in the tale of the gatecrashing Jolley Gang. Now will they end their grim hobby? - 21st March
 * Oscar comes too late'' - Bigelow's prize makes little difference to Hollywood's basic sexist approach towards women - 14th March
 * Ford would despair of my talents as a godmother'' - It is lovely to be made a godparent. But I really haven't a clue how to do the job properly - 28th February
 * Is there anyone out there?'' - They took away my telephone and internet. Now I worry that I have lost my memory - 21st February
 * mine a McDonald's muntjac'' - I want defrosted cod and chips from a pub, not chilled vole pancreas with a persimmon jus - 14th February
 * stepped out of the dark with a gun…'' - We were so proud of our unarmed police force. Now they're like so many Schwarzeneggers - 7th February 2010
 * hail Henry Dagg – he's a true artist'' - His sound sculpture is the perfect example of rule-breaking, purposeless, perfect art - 31st January
 * want a divorce. Shame I'm single'' - A divorce offers all the joy and presents of a wedding ceremony but with no dancing or religious awkwardness - 24th January
 * was the festive season when David turned into Goliath'' - David Tennant, I salute you for your sterling work at Christmas - 3rd January



Articles: 2009

 * Muslim Eton? It sounds like a brilliant idea to me'' - A Lancashire MP is criticising plans for a single-sex faith school. But on whose behalf is he speaking? - 27th December
 * to fancy presents. Give people cheese'' - As Secret Santa gets the sack, it's time to think credit crunch with your choice of Christmas presents - 20th December
 * you, but the last thing I want is a 'Horny Christmas''' - Ann Summers is urging us to celebrate the Virgin Birth by getting frisky this festive season. How inappropriate is that? - 13th December
 * Cheryl's smile is as fake as her hair. But I love her for it'' - There is a furious outcry from those who have been shopping for Elvive shampoo in the hope of emulating Cheryl Cole's shiny tresses - 29th November
 * angry, calm, sympathetic, hostile, but above all human … men'' - Your fellow jurors may be weirdos and freaks, but the jury system is a democratic safety net - 15th November
 * find nothing but pure logic in my retrained brain'' - Jury duty means I'm not allowed to speculate. So stand by for rational thinking - 8th November
 * education, education – it's clearly wasted on the young'' - Shall we just not bother with school any more, eh? - 25th October
 * the Royal Mail. It's enough to make anyone go postal'' - Don't blame the poor postmen and women for going on strike - 18th October
 * overrated, overpriced and not great in the bath'' - If the Kindle really does sound the death knell for print, then perhaps that's a good thing - 11th October
 * now I'd not be confident enough to sleep with a teacher'' - Helen Goddard's crime is a curio. She is jailed, but can stay in contact with her lover - 27th September
 * the Bible wisely says, the tweet shall inherit the earth'' - Dr John Sentamu has posted on his Twitter page: "I am seeking a director of communications. Is God calling you?" - 6th September
 * but I don't think happiness comes in a can'' - Dr Nick Lavidis, the Australian scientist who has developed a room spray with a scent of mown grass, claims that smelling it will improve people's memory and lift their mood - 30th August
 * scent an almighty stink about nothing'' - Scented candles can kill. I always knew there was something dodgy about them - 23rd August
 * waste time. Be creative while you blub'' - Over her lifetime, it has been scientifically calculated, a woman spends 16 months crying - 17th August
 * British summer has become the perfect oxymoron'' - They may have more gadgets, but today's weathermen can tell us little more than the man in a headdress shouting 'rain, he come' - 2nd August
 * back Arlene Phillips. But cut out the gags'' - There are too few women over 50 on TV. There are too few funny women on TV - 26th July
 * love you, so give me £163,424 and then eff off, you ...'' - Having polled 1,000 British people on the happiness inspired by 'significant life events', researchers compared their findings to the contentment brought on by lottery wins, then calculated that hearing the words 'I love you' brought precisely £163,424 worth of pleasure - 19th July
 * no. Not another one who wants to be in the West Wing'' - David Cameron, like Tony Blair before him, fantasises about turning Downing Street into an imitation of the Oval Office - 5th July
 * the high life in Las Vegas turn my head? You bet'' - The World Series of Poker is probably, now, the biggest sporting event in the world - 5th July
 * Mum, it's just not fair. Why do I have to be a lama?'' - Many people have trouble living up to their parents' expectations. Maybe your folks want you to get better exam results or a higher-paying job - 7th June
 * your teen may be overdoing it'' - Harry Wilder has gone on holiday with satellite tracking device so his mum can see where he is at all times - 31st May
 * unloved, Mr Griffin? Do have a slice of Battenberg'' - I am charmed that two members of the BNP are prepared to do something so tremendously gay as attend the Queen's garden party - 24th May
 * I do give a damn about Katie'' - Jordan and Peter are our Bible figures, our epic characters, our Greek Gods - 17th May
 * get all hot and bothered over what's cool. Just ask Obama'' - We've put up with so much from our political leaders for so long, now it's time for some unity - 10th May
 * you thought they were just our furry friends ...'' - But how do they clutch the folder of misleading photographs under their mandibles? That was the question we all asked ourselves, on hearing last week's news that ants have estate agents - 26th April
 * Madonna as your mother than no mother at all'' - 19th April
 * is thicker? A supermodel or a stick of celery?'' - If women could just put body shape back where it should be on the priority list they would soon be eating and exercising normally - 12th April
 * on like this, Dr Starkey - and you'll be history'' - Do you know how many women we can name from history, David Starkey? - 5th April
 * thump anyone who says women are too soft to box'' - I urgently want women to fight in the next Olympics - just as long as I don't have to look - 8th March
 * into one can go, but they won't replace Humph'' - It is a tribute to the magnificent Humphrey Lyttelton that his replacement as host of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue has been named as Stephen Fry. And Rob Brydon. And Jack Dee. A revolving comic trinity, in place of the one god - 1st March
 * I discovered it's healthy to be fascinated by dying'' - People seem to have stopped voicing shocked distaste that Jade is doing terminal illness in public - 22nd February
 * grandad, stop behaving like a teenager ... or else'' - It's about time we started disapproving of pensioners as a generation. Why should they get off lightly? - 15th February
 * work. Make a snowman. The real world can wait'' - If it takes an absent train-driver, road-gritter or schoolteacher to make you stop the carousel for a couple of days, you're a fool to be angry - 8th February
 * first love ... lots of Steven Berkoff and no snogging'' - Britain's leading sociologists (at which words, I imagine a cluster of bearded men striking forth across a map) are warning against first love - 1st February
 * don't normally sign petitions, but in this case...'' - More than 100,000 people have now signed an online petition, protesting against the Facebook ban on photographs of women breast-feeding - 4th January



Articles: 2008

 * on a first date? Well, give Shane Warne a whirl'' - Good social questions should be unexpected, oblique rather than direct, offering the opportunity for unrehearsed wit - 14th December 2008
 * could never be party to any of this gatecrashing lark'' - 7th December 2008
 * certainly wasn't like this when I made a porn movie'' - Mainstream culture would have us believe that platonic friendships across the sexes are impossible - 23rd November 2008
 * veg are back, which is good news for Charles'' - Looking at a wonky parsnip, the other day, I thought of Prince Charles. The parsnip did not particularly resemble him - although it could have - 16th November 2008
 * bless Fergie, a true heroine for straitened times'' - 9th November 2008
 * very wise of Peaches Geldof to marry in haste'' - 26th October 2008
 * nothing wrong with Cheryl and the WAGs'' - 19th October 2008
 * I wanted a cup of coffee, I'd go to a cafe, not a library'' - 12th October 2008
 * I've got glasses. No, it's nothing to do with Sarah Palin'' - 5th October 2008
 * school kids invite you to share their lifestyle secrets'' - 28th September 2008
 * Mr Bond, are you actually a leg or a breast man?'' - A startling new biography of Roald Dahl reveals that the beloved children's author was involved in a string of shady sexual liaisons when he was a British spy during the war - 7th September 2008
 * in the now? What an absolutely idiotic proposition'' - 31st August 2008
 * count on your animal instincts. You don't have any'' - Ooh, we love this stuff. Sad gorillas, vain magpies, dogs with a sense of humour. We fall on anything that suggests the 'animal kingdom' experiences the same feelings we do - 24th August 2008
 * hail Boris, a doughty champion in a frustrating world'' - There is nobody in Britain who was not delighted to hear that Boris Johnson's bags got lost at Gatwick - 17th August 2008
 * no smoke without ire - that's the real outrage'' - smoking - 10th August 2008
 * Britain would be a better place if we had more bitches - The heartbreaking social problem we're facing is the Decline of the Evil Put-Down - 3rd August 2008
 * Escape fantasies? Give me a Big Mac and some gas bills - The return of the Darwins reassures us that, despite the tantalising lure of running away, we prefer the narrow horizon - 20th June 2008
 * Oh dear, I think I've got a case of pergola envy - Margaret Beckett has galvanised the gardening industry with a fervour unseen since Charlie Dimmock - 1st June 2008
 * The fittest of the survivalists? There's no contest - Why Bear Grylls would be my survivalist of choice - 25th May 2008
 * Ping! Welcome to a heavenly hubbub - With a little reflection, you will surely see that the Bible is perfectly designed for texting - 18th May 2008
 * It's advertising the royal way... because one deserves it - There is, apparently, 'consternation' at Buckingham Palace, because Peter Phillips has done Hello! - 11th May 2008
 * An exploitation movie like no other - Imagine Salman Rushdie and Scarlett Johansson on a bed - 4th May 2008
 * Ah, Monaco. Land of the filthy rich. And I mean filthy - In the gambling capital of Europe you don't see any poor people at all - 27th April 2008
 * Now that's my kinda town - Enviro-watchers will be biting their nails with suspense now that a shortlist has been announced for 10 British 'eco-towns' - 6th April 2008
 * Me misspeak? Now you mention it... - It was hard not to enjoy Hillary Clinton's 'misspeaking' last week - 30th March 2008
 * Why is poor Dr Walshaw in the soup - Did you hear about the doctor, the train and the soup plate? This is not the beginning of a joke - although it bloody should be - 23rd March 2008
 * My Lulu of an idea to save the planet - 16th March 2008
 * Shall I compare thee, Lee Jasper, to Keats or Donne? No - I warn you, this might be a little mphhg. It might prove a bit wdgzw. That's because I'm typing with clenched rxvqq - 9th March 2008
 * Why can't a man be more like a car? - Most people have happier memories of their first car than of their first kiss - 2nd March 2008
 * Time to bring back happy Hollywood - Oscars night! Only a few hours away, how exciting - 24th February 2008
 * Please spare me from those spas - 10th February 2008
 * Barack's debt to Larry David - 3rd February 2008
 * I won't be party to a party - 27th January 2008
 * Mum's the word for racist - 20th January 2008
 * Walking back to happiness - 13th January 2008



The Guardian:
Column name: Poker

Remit/Info: Poker and gambling

Section:

Role: Columnist

Pen-name:

Email:

Website: http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/victoriacoren+sport/poker

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Wednesday

Regularity: Weekly

Column format:

Average length:



Articles:

 * Christmas in the clink? But I'm no cocaine fiend - I'm just a square girl with an inhaler who tried cocaine once, so I hope the Mail doesn't make the police come knocking - 23rd December 2013

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News & updates:

 * Victoria Coren's new moniker unveiled - Evening Standard, 14th May 2013

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References:
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Links:

 * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victoria_Coren