Robert Crampton



Profile:
Full name: Robert Crampton

Area of interest: Current affairs

Journals/Organisation: The Times

Email: [mailto:robert.crampton@thetimes.co.uk robert.crampton@thetimes.co.uk]

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Website: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/opinion/columnists/robertcrampton

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Current position/role: "Robert Crampton joined the Times in 1991, and works principally as an interviewer, columnist and feature writer for the Saturday Magazine" - The Times


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Role: Commentator

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Email: [mailto:robert.crampton@thetimes.co.uk robert.crampton@thetimes.co.uk]

Website: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/opinion/columnists/robertcrampton

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Saturday

Regularity: Weekly

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Articles:

 * Prince George can’t be ordinary if he’s dressed like that - 7th July 2015
 * This warrior nation welcomes foreign fighters - At Trafalgar Nelson relied on outside help. The British Armed Forces always have - 21st October 2013
 * Who are the most boring celebrities of them all? - Federer may be boring, but on the spectrum of celebrity tedium sports stars are near the centre - 3rd July 2012
 * So who does Kate curtsy to if William is on the loo? - The answer is good news for us republicans - 26th June 2012
 * outdoor types in Yorkshire, tha knows'' - Of all the people I saw in Yorkshire cities, shopping, drinking and the rest, nothing like a third were having sex with each other - 26th July 2010
 * and two women'' - Sam is away in France, Cousin Steve is away in Hull. I’m left on my own in London with two women - 17th July 2010
 * Gazza tried to help Raoul Moat'' - The former footballer set off on his mercy mission equipped with chicken, beer and a dressing gown - 13th July 2010
 * an Italian can look cool when dining out on testicles'' - Is there any part of the animal that you absolutely cannot and must not eat? How about kneecaps or elbows - 6th July 2010
 * can’t we be more like the revolting French?'' - The French know how to get bolshy, while we tend to get cold feet - 22nd June 2010
 * twit with the foul mouth who shamed a nation . . . yes, that’s me folks'' - And so we settle into the familiar rhythm. The feverish expectancy, the anxiety, the anticlimax (dull, and yet somehow simultaneously nerve-shredding) of the game itself, the “what shall I do with the rest of my life” post-match emptiness, the inquest. And then the lull, which is just about where we are now.… - 16th June 2010
 * full steam back to the Fifties now, folks'' - I think Nick Clegg is right. We’re not looking at a return to the 1980s - 8th June 2010
 * behaving badly in Zurich'' - If the compilers of the liveability survey came up with a measurement of utter bone-breaking tedium, Zurich would get top marks - 1st June 2010
 * smell filled the bar. Catalan noses wrinkled'' - Perhaps only tequila, with the worm and whatnot, comes close to matching absinthe’s bad boy glamour. But tequila tastes nice - 19th May 2010
 * wary of falling prey to South Beach-Hackney syndrome'' - It wasn’t muck-spreading that did for John Humphrys, more likely the traffic - 27th April 2010
 * the land of plenty what do they spend all that plenty on? Sex potions, perhaps'' - Mention that you’d like to walk and they look at you as if you’d suggested selling your kids - 13th April 2010
 * penalty for Dad trying to act cool: a teddy bear in the rucksack'' - Once in Manhattan, the children wasted little time in making sure we were identified as total hicks - 30th March 2010
 * the Broken Britain thesis was true no one would bother about a burning East End bin'' - Haven’t 14-year-old boys always roamed around setting things on fire? - 23rd March 2010
 * chilling that Brown’s ratings have gone up after revelations of his volcanic temper'' - I’d say that at some level these angry, middle-aged men blame women - 1st March 2010
 * a dark arch, a legend is born'' - What is this macabre apparition? Just me trying to get into shape - 23rd February 2010
 * beard thing is growing from the roots up'' - Facial hair is everywhere. But who is setting the trend? - 9th February 2010
 * stars of the future – we name names'' - Nothing points up the generation gap more than what we call our children - 2nd February 2010
 * a tall order to keep the young in line'' - Teenagers grow up so fast these days that it is hard to intimidate them - 26th January 2010
 * to draw a veil over this daft idea, Nigel Farage'' - UKIP says it hasn’t fully thought through how a burka ban might work. Too right - 19th January 2010
 * do I dislike thee? Let me count the ways'' - Jonathan Ross or Charles Moore — is it OK not to like either? - 12th January 2010
 * act of charity won’t change the world'' - A few pennies are not enough to save the welfare state - 5th January 2010
 * me while I slip on the hairshirt'' - Only one resolution for me this year: January and February are cancelled. I am declaring these two months a social wilderness - 29th December 2009
 * it the last post for the Chrissie card?'' - E-mail and an unreliable postal service are killing off a tradition - 22nd December 2009
 * I cried at the Nativity too'' - We go to support our own child but end up spellbound by the others too - 15th December 2009
 * Saturday, another school shindig'' - I have just visited my ninth, and I think, final, potential secondary school for my daughter - 1st December 2009
 * le déluge, the guys start to wade in'' - Obviously this doesn’t apply if your living room is under six feet of water and the telly is floating off down the street, but for the rest of us, do we secretly enjoy bad weather? - 24th November 2009
 * the family are shaping up nicely but me'' - Why I’m struggling with non-verbal reasoning tests - 17th November 2009
 * Brown screwed up by not screwing it up'' - Misspelling a dead soldier’s name is unforgivable, even if your writing is bad - 10th November 2009
 * gum, we knew how to do a trick properly'' - Today's trick or treaters leave a lot to be desired when it comes to the childish misdemeanour - 3rd November 2009
 * a crime how they insult my city'' - Why does no one ever seem to have a nice word to say about London? - 27th October 2009
 * is fair — at least until Hull freezes over'' - Grin up North at Europe's biggest travelling fair - 20th October 2009
 * it comes to beauty, the ‘I’s have it'' - Armed and in uniform, there’s something so appealing about Israeli women - 13th October 2009
 * don’t give a hoot for your toots'' - The car horn is just a weapon for scaring the unwary. We should do away with it - 29th September 2009
 * mobile lost - easily identified'' - The telltale signs that reveal an older-generation owner - 22nd September 2009
 * play and no work in the home office'' - Technology has liberated us from work, but not in the way we thought - 15th September 2009
 * am English and I don’t go naked'' - I don’t mind being taken for a German in Germany, but I do object when it occurs in my own country - 8th September 2009
 * an A for receiving your grades'' - How is it that all the pictures show good-looking students celebrating their results? - 1st September 2009
 * have a wrestle with popular culture'' - Home thoughts from West Wales - 25th August 2009
 * not so much of a haven'' - A staycation in West Wales has many benefits, but drama is not usually among them - 18th August 2009
 * did learn to sing in perfect harmony'' - Young people show no desire to attack each other on the basis of differing musical taste. I don’t know what the world’s coming to - 28th July 2009
 * time to invest in a gazebo'' - So, the much vaunted long hot summer of 2009, how’s it going for you? - 21st July 2009
 * garden is rosy, at least for the boys'' - These warm summer evenings I’ve taken to sitting in the back garden, talking nonsense with my pals - 7th July 2009
 * family night in: time for a bit of romance'' - Talk about guilty pleasures, along with shortbread, Queen and Frederick Forsyth, romcoms are one of my biggest indulgences - 30th June 2009
 * yourself for a worrying heads-up'' - Is this a classic urban myth or callousness from the airlines? - 23rd June 2009
 * barbecue's origins are a burning issue'' - Like tattoos, the outside grill is a phenomenon of the newly affluent working class - 16th June 2009
 * Nigel Farage the new father figure of politics?'' - The leader may be only 45, but UKIP is cleaning up the grumpy old man vote - 9th June 2009
 * master's voice goes estuary'' - A strange experience listening to the Today programme... - 2nd June 2009
 * addiction has me totally Wired'' - If no one's looking, I'll sneak upstairs and watch a couple more episodes . . . - 27th May 2009
 * lido rage that simmers under the surface'' - The English middle classes love to put on their hairshirts - 19th May 2009
 * Coe's past is a long way behind him now'' - The great runner divided my generation as surely as left or right, North or South - 12th May 2009
 * swear you are less calm in the capital'' - The pros and cons of moving to the country; Terence Conran's 1-1 draw in the great green game - 6th May 2009
 * derby match? With no cursing?'' - Watching sport in America is nothing like the visceral experience in Britain - 28th April 2009
 * no punchbag for the children'' - The ridicule I suffer from my offspring has suddenly ended - 21st April 2009
 * wig gap for bigwigs in Baghdad'' - It's relatively quiet in the Iraqi capital but the comedy rugs should be causing a noise - 14th April 2009
 * than art: factories, don't you love 'em?'' - These are exciting places - things actually get made in them - 31st March 2009
 * pay to see Hugh Grant get thumped'' - Why do we think we shouldn't pay to look around historic churches? - 24th March 2009
 * the time when I like to keep it clean'' - Is anything more fun than sucking six months' worth of fluff off the top of a skirting board? -17th March 2009
 * the country: eat an exotic fairy cake'' - The oddity of farmers' markets during a recession - 10th March 2009
 * look at a life that's no holiday'' - Anyone who reckons prison is a camp must have been on some fairly poor holidays - 3rd March 2009
 * the flesh gets you the cold shoulder'' - In Qatar a glimpse of stocking is still looked on as something shocking - 25th February 2009
 * for the locals? You must be joking'' - Qatar is like Chicago in 1900 - but with less crime and better weather - 18th February 2009
 * pages - but not a great deal of substance'' - My three-star rating for a book I never even wrote - 11th February 2009
 * Cyclists should wear an aqualung, right? - Safety commentators note: you never know when someone might fall into a canal - 4th February 2009
 * Waiter, do you have any signs of recession? - The mystery of full restaurants; the fur flies at the inauguration - 28th January 2009
 * High anxiety as a new era takes wing - Washington is an uptight city, and not just for the inauguration - 20th January 2009
 * A cheeky way to make a red face redder - The strange existence of the newagent's top shelf; more sniggering at childish jokes - 14th January 2009
 * Pavement alert: nuisance pedestrian nearby - The benefits of walking rather than biking; and evidence of less mucky streets - 7th January 2009



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 * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Crampton