Matthew Parris



Profile:
Full name: Matthew Francis Parris

Area of interest: Politics, world affairs, history and travel

Journals/Organisation: The Times | The Spectator

Email:

Personal website:

Website: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/opinion/columnists/matthewparris

Blog:

Representation: Gordon Poole | Speakers UK | Speakers Corner

Networks:



Biography:
About: An ex civil servant at the Foreign Office who became an MP and then turned to a media career as broadcaster and columnist. As well as The Times he is a frequent contributor to many other publications, including The Spectator, and has been named ‘Columnist of the Year’ at the British Press Awards on numerous occasions.

Education: Clare College, Cambridge: Law (first class degree); Yale: International Relations

Career: Worked at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office for two years; joined the Conservative Party Research Department CRD, becoming Margaret Thatcher's correspondence secretary, 1977/79; elected as the Conservative MP for West Derbyshire, 1979/86; surrendered his seat in 1986, commencing a media career: Presenter of London Weekend Television’s Weekend World - taking over from Brian Walden - for two years; Parliamentary sketchwriter for The Times, 1988/2001
 * Currently writes a diary piece (Thursday) for The Times, and a column for both The Times and The Spectator

Current position/role: Columnist and diarist, with an opinion column every Saturday and a diary piece on Thursday for The Times


 * also writes/written for:

Other roles/Main role: Author

Other activities: Led expeditions to Mount Kilimanjaro in 1967/1989, Zaire in 1973, Sahara in 1978, also to Peru and Bolivia; spent the Antarctic winter of 2000 on the French possession of Grande Terre (Desolation Island) in the Kerguelen Archipelago in the Indian Ocean

Disclosures:

Viewpoints/Insight:
 * My first job: Life as a diplomat
 * Lynn Barber: Sketches of pain The Observer, 29th September 2002
 * James Silver: Lonely prophet of shampoo Toryism The Independent, 3rd July 2006

Broadcast media: Presents BBC Radio 4's biography series Great Lives (Wiki info), Great Lives (BBC Radio 4)
 * see IMDb

Video: BBC News - What lessons Gibbon may have for Britain, its politicians and its institutions? The Gibbon Test

Controversy/Criticism: Revealed Peter Mandelson was gay in Newsnight interview with Jeremy Paxman following the Ron Davies' scandal, consequently sacked as a columnist on The Sun by then editor, David Yelland

Awards/Honours: London Press Club's Edgar Wallace Outstanding Reporter of the Year Award, 1990; British Press Awards Columnist of the Year, 1991 and 1993; What the Papers Say Columnist of the Year, 1992; National newspaper category in the annual media awards given by the Institute for the Study of Drug Dependency, 1994; Writer of the Year in Granada Television's What the Papers Say Awards, 2004; PG Poll: Matthew Parris voted top comment journalist, Press Gazette, 3rd February 2010

Scoops:

Other: In a civil partnership with political journalist Julian Glover



Books & Debate:
Subjects cover politics and travel, and his autobiography, Chance Witness, winner of the Orwell Prize, 2004: Coping with the Soviet Union (with Peter Blaker, Julian Critchley), (Conservative Political Centre Bookshop, 1977) ISBN 0-85070-599-1; Inca Kola: A Traveller's Tale of Peru (Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 1990) ISBN 0-297-81075-8; So Far So Good...: Selected Pieces (Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 1991) ISBN 0-297-81215-7; Look Behind You!: Sketches and Follies from the Commons (Robson, 1993) ISBN 0-86051-874-4; Scorn: A Bucketful of Discourtesy, Disparagement, Invective, Ridicule, Impudence, Contumely, Derision, Hate, Affront, Disdain, Bile, Taunts, Curses and Jibes (Hamish Hamilton, 1994) ISBN 0-241-13384-X; Scorn with Added Vitriol (Hamish Hamilton, 1995) ISBN 0-241-13587-7; Great Parliamentary Scandals: Four Centuries of Calumny, Smear and Innuendo (Robson Books, 1995) ISBN 0-86051-957-0; Read My Lips: A Treasury of Things Politicians Wish They Hadn't Said (Parkwest Publications, 1997) ISBN 1-86105-043-7; I Couldn't Possibly Comment: More Sketches from the Commons (Robson Books, 1997) ISBN 1-86105-095-X; Scorn with Extra Bile Matthew Parris (editor) (Penguin Books, 1998) ISBN 0-14-027780-3; The Great Unfrocked: Two Thousand Years of Church Scandal (Robson, 1998) ISBN 1-86105-129-8; Against the Law: The Classic Account of a Homosexual in 1950s Britain Peter Wildeblood, Matthew Parris (introduction) (Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 1999) ISBN 0-297-64382-7; I Wish I Hadn't Said That: The Experts Speak - and Get It Wrong! Matthew Parris (foreword), Christopher Cerf, Victor Navasky (HarperCollins, 2000) ISBN 0-00-653149-0; Off Message: New Labour, New Sketches (Robson Books, 2001) ISBN 1-86105-479-3; The King's English (Oxford Language Classics Series) Henry Fowler, Frank Fowler, Matthew Parris (introduction) (Oxford University Press, 2002) ISBN 0-19-860507-2; Chance Witness: An Outsider's Life in Politics (Viking, 2002) ISBN 0-670-89440-0; A Castle in Spain (Viking, 2005) ISBN 0-670-91547-5; Mission Accomplished!: A Treasury of the Things Politicians Wish They Hadn't Said (with Phil Mason) (JR Books Ltd, 2007) ISBN 1906217351; Nobody's good fortune: the autobiography of John Lang (Introduction) (Grosvenor House Publishing, Ltd. 2008) ISBN 1906210977

Latest work: Scorn: the anthology OCLC 233788894, 2008

Speaking/Appearances:

Debate:



The Times:
Column name:

Remit/Info: Politics

Section: Features

Role: Commentator

Pen-name:

Email:

Website: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/opinion/columnists/matthewparris

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Saturday

Regularity: Weekly

Column format:

Average length: 1300 words



Articles: 2016

 * Referendums are no way to make decisions - Cameron will rue the day he resorted to plebiscites to settle big issues. They’re a tool of demagogues and dictators - 21st May
 * Labour needs a hero to take on the Corbynites - Moderates can’t wait for ever for the party to become electable. Better to go for a leadership challenge now, even if it fails - 13th May
 * We can’t go on with such incompetent police - Britain’s thin blue line has become a byword for dim-wittedness and shameless collusion. A thorough investigation is needed - 7th May
 * Burn your bridges with the right, Mr Cameron - After the EU vote the prime minister needs to use his time purposefully. That does not mean ‘bringing the party together’ - 30th April
 * New-look Ukip threatens Cameron’s legacy - By rebranding itself as a movement, not a party, Ukip would become a virus that could destroy moderate Conservatism - 23rd April
 * This is a battle for the soul of the Tory party - Be under no illusion, voting Leave will destroy moderate Conservatism and give the rightwingers ultimate victory - 16th April
 * Cameron faces a virus that’s out of control - The PM must grasp the fact that public distrust of the elite and anger about their tax affairs isn’t going away - 8th April
 * Britain hasn’t got a clue about the Middle East - Iraq, Libya, Afghanistan, Syria, Egypt . . . our litany of policy failures tell us that we should really leave well alone - 2nd April
 * Tories have got to end their affair with Boris - Charm can make us forget the dishonesty and recklessness that would be ruthlessly exposed if he became leader - 26th March
 * It’s time for Osborne to find another job - The chancellor seems weary and strained. To make the move to No 10, he might need to take a step backwards first - 19th March
 * We’re mad to turn our backs on vibrant Africa - Whitehall and the British political elite don’t think the continent matters any more, which is a colossal misjudgment - 5th March
 * Brexit would mean that we don’t give a damn - A breakaway would seriously damage Europe. The West are the good guys, after all, the torchbearers of civilisation - 20th February
 * My love affair reaches the end of the road - As the Land Rover drives off into the sunset, I will remember it as classless, daring and virtually indestructible - 30th January
 * Wealth gap shows that capitalism is failing - The chasm between rich and poor is morally indefensible. The affluent must stop hogging the world’s riches - 23rd January
 * We’re locked in a loveless marriage to Europe - For all our loathing of Brussels, voters aren’t ready to end the relationship. Cameron just has to exploit our timidity - 16th January
 * Lemsip economics won’t save us from a crash - I’ve got a funny feeling in my tummy that the problems which led to the crash of 2008 are coming back to haunt us - 9th January
 * We should make a virtue out of being mean - The cartoonish view of people as victims and politicians as villains takes no account of the limits of public money - 2nd January



Articles: 2015

 * The secret state is eroding our democracy - Ministers are increasingly slipping through contentious laws with hardly any scrutiny from bamboozled MPs - 19th December
 * Quit while you’re ahead, prime minister - The PM is fluent, hard-working and very lucky. If he’s also wise, he will go as soon as the European question is settled - 12th December
 * It’s oblivion for Labour’s spineless moderates - Oldham was predicted to be another nail in Corbyn’s coffin; in fact it’s a reminder that the party has a vacuum at its heart - 5th December
 * Why it’s time to give 16-year-olds the vote - Teenagers are a welcome antidote to the older generation’s cynicism. Tories are on the wrong side of history again - 21st November
 * Small builders need a leg up from Osborne - Housing is the biggest market failure in Britain today. We’ll only build enough homes if the government steps in to help - 14th November
 * Labour needs a hero to take down Corbyn - Simply waiting for the insanity to pass is a dangerous game. It’s time for moderates to adopt a do-or-die attitude - 31st October
 * Forget changing the world. Give us continuity - On the NHS and green issues the Tories are finding that the public hate uncertainty and political handbrake turns - 24th October
 * We’re all victims of the victimhood industry - The abused, the disabled, gay people, Scots . . . when everyone’s a victim, suspicions are raised and sympathies diminished - 17th October
 * I’m living the electric dream in my new car - The quiet whirr of my plug-in 4x4 fills me with a sense of futurism and moral superiority. If only Dad could see me now - 10th October
 * Tories must resist their inner Genghis Khan - If Conservatives want to fill the gap created by Labour’s lurch to the left, they’ve got to be less tribal and more tolerant - 3rd October
 * Snuggling up to the party is electoral death - The more attention political leaders pay to their members, the more they neglect the voters they really need - 26th September
 * Corbyn’s car crash is a gift to the centre left - The Labour leader’s rivals will never have a better moment to break free. If they stay, they’ll follow the party to oblivion - 19th September
 * If we must bomb Syria, at least tell us why - Just taking out the bad guys isn’t good enough. After we’ve blasted them to hell, Mr Hammond, what happens next? - 12th September
 * Stop crying if you’re serious about migrants - The outpouring of emotion over the death of a Syrian toddler has blinded us to the roots of this humanitarian crisis - 5th September
 * Spare me the guff about our glorious Queen - As Elizabeth overtakes Victoria as our longest-reigning monarch, let’s not pretend we have the faintest idea what she’s like - 29th August
 * Labour needs the big bang Corbyn will bring - From being a great political party, it now serves no obvious purpose. All this chaos and despair is the best thing for it - 22nd August
 * This can’t go on – we need tough new rules - Our obfuscation on migrants is a disgrace. We must be clear who we can help and resolute in sending back those we can’t - 15th August
 * If Heath was a child abuser, I’m an aardvark - The police have gone mad and the media has lost its head. There’s no establishment cover-up and someone has to say so - 8th August
 * Stop moaning, we’ve never had it so good - After decades of national gripes and negativity, it’s time for the Tories to forge a new mood of ideas and enthusiasm - 1st August
 * Labour knows its heart. Tony Blair doesn’t - Our democracy has been infiltrated by too much marketing and not enough ideology. Now the left is fighting back - 25th July
 * Mayor Zac would be a disaster for the Tories - The millionaire MP is coasting towards coronation as Conservative candidate for London but the party will rue the day - 11th July
 * How quickly we forget the magic of childhood - Adults should value children as people with hopes and fears of their own, recalling how we felt when we were young - 4th July
 * Zac and the US art of buying an election - 1st July
 * The EU is doomed, whether we stay or go - Cameron is likely to get his deal and Britain is probably better off (just) sticking with bossy, broken-backed Brussels - 26th June
 * Tories aren’t playing fair on party funding - It isn’t just about union influence – there are abuses on both sides. We need to find a better way of paying for politics - 6th June
 * We fool ourselves that we’ve all got a future - Civilisations fall and our short lives are snuffed out, but we all have a primal feeling that this can’t be all there is - 30th May
 * How Cameron can pass his big test on Europe - Yes and No camps must get behind renegotiation, then the PM should allow dissenting voices to speak and vote freely - 16th May
 * There’s a sting in the tail of this Tory triumph - Although I rejoice in David Cameron’s victory, the Conservatives remain anathema to millions of potential supporters - 9th May
 * The Tory losers with reasons to be cheerful - Scottish voters are rediscovering their inner Conservative thanks to Ruth Davidson, the party leader north of the border - 25th April
 * Nicola Sturgeon and the politics of sadism - The SNP hopes to torture a minority Labour government and refuse to let it die. The Union would be in mortal danger - 18th April
 * Panicking Tories need to calm down, dear - The defence secretary’s ill-advised attack on Ed Miliband showed just how jittery senior Conservatives have become - 11th April
 * Message to voters: it’s the austerity, stupid - Once you get past the politics of personality, the only issue that matters is the role and cost of the state - 4th April
 * Tories can’t shake off the ‘nasty party’ tag - Although David Cameron avoided any blunders in his TV interview, his party sticks in the craw of millions of voters - 28th March
 * The Tories are going to win – and win well - The opinion polls point to a stalemate between the two main parties but voters in the real world tell a different story - 21st March
 * Convicted by the police canteen culture - Cliff Richard, Paul Gambaccini and now Harvey Proctor appear to be victims of a dubious ‘flypaper strategy’ - 7th March
 * Cameron must stop trashing his own brand - The prime minister should be seen as calm and affable, but a blur of half-baked initiatives make him look panicky - 21st February
 * Tories will rue the day they decapitate Clegg - If the Lib Dem leader loses his seat, his place will be taken by a left-wing rival much keener on a deal with Labour - 14th February
 * A warning to Cameron from down under - The Australian prime minister has learnt the hard way that while voters like populist rhetoric, they dislike the reality - 7th February
 * Time for Labour to become big spenders again - Even under Blair, the party stood for spending vast sums on public services. Calling for austerity now can only fail - 31st January
 * Forget your hang-ups and learn to love lust - The great Page 3 debate reveals what a prudish nation we’ve become. There’s no point trying to deny our deepest urges - 24th January
 * Tories must switch support to the consumer - We know comparison websites hide the cheapest deals from their customers. So why is the government doing nothing? - 17th January
 * Murderous misfits, not a clash of civilisations - If we overreact to the horror of Paris we make it harder for Muslim communities to reject the demands of jihadists - 10th January



Articles: 2014

 * Shh . . . six taboo subjects we don’t talk about - From the p-word (privatisation) to the n-word (nationalisation) our public debate has become disgracefully limited - 3rd January
 * Our obsession with Isis plays into their hands - By linking unrelated atrocities into a threat that doesn’t really exist, we behave rather like the so-called barbarians - 20th December
 * Fear not, the populist parties won’t be popular - The rise of Ukip and the SNP doesn’t herald a new kind of politics. The election will still be the usual two-party battle - 13th December
 * Scotland’s heart may not be that brave after all - Tougher immigration rules aren’t half as significant as the future of the Union. But do the Scots really want freedom? - 29th November
 * We can’t let Germany be über alles in Europe - John Major is right to warn about the dangers of Britain leaving the EU. It would give far too much power to Berlin - 15th November
 * Labour is the problem. It’s no longer wanted - A left-of-centre party with no coherent message is redundant in an era of austerity and mistrust of state spending - 8th November
 * U-turn if you want to – it’s a sign of progress - Nicky Morgan should be praised for changing her mind on gay marriage. But we need unchanging stick-in-the-muds too - 1st November
 * This war will make us less safe – not more - As the Ottawa shootings showed, joining the war on Isis has put us in great danger. Why won’t our leaders admit it? - 25th October
 * What do the anti-immigration lot really want? - Those demanding curbs on foreigners entering the UK may suffer from irrational fears they dare not admit to themselves - 18th October
 * Voters, not the politicians, are out of touch - Ignore the piffle about Westminster needing to reconnect with a disaffected public. It should be the other way around - 11th October
 * Nigel’s fruitcakes are back in their tin - This week, the Ukip bandwagon began to lose momentum — and the Tories stopped being afraid of the shadows - 4th October
 * Cameron’s conjuring tricks are wearing thin - The escapologist of No 10 has got out of another tight spot. But he needs to set the agenda, not just react to it - 20th September
 * Whoever wins this vote, the Union is dead - Gordon Brown has bounced Westminster into giving Scotland home rule. English home rule is now just a matter of time - 13th September
 * Tories should turn their backs on Clacton - The seaside town represents a Britain that’s going nowhere. The future belongs to places with more ambition and drive - 6th September
 * A Tory schism is now all but inevitable - Douglas Carswell’s defection is part of a strategy to scupper the EU referendum and take over the Conservative party - 30th August
 * Don’t lump all Muslims in the extremist camp - Expressions of hostility towards Islam are now routine in this country. But we risk fuelling fanaticism with our hatred - 23rd August
 * The crisis is easing. The cries for action aren’t - We mustn’t let the interventionists piggyback their misguided miltary desires on the back of a humanitarian disaster - 16th August
 * The broken promises that will trip up Boris - The Tory right may be cheering for the London mayor now, but will he ever be their candidate for prime minister? - 9th August
 * If you duck, events can still hit you on the head - The Warsi resignation was avoidable - 6th August
 * Road to hell is paved with liberal intervention - The great and good assured us that Libya would be a beacon of hope in the Arab world. How wrong could they be? - 2nd August
 * China will eventually face its day of reckoning - Its expansion across the world has been giddying, but Beijing must be ready for the backlash from disaffected locals - 26th July
 * Ukraine gains from Flight MH17. Russia loses - Assuming Russian approval, trigger-happy separatists killed the wrong people. Putin must be furious and very worried - 19th July
 * We’re losing the battle for internet freedom - The enemies of online liberty advance in a series of small incursions, which is why we must be wary of new legislation - 13th July
 * Women need more swagger to become MPs - The jaunty confidence of the pantomime principal boy gives men the edge over women in the race for Westminster - 5th July
 * No one cares what Britain thinks. Hurrah - It’s reassuring to think that when disaster unfolds in Iraq, Syria or Ukraine, there’s nothing we can realistically do - 28th June
 * Have no doubt. We’re heading for an EU exit - By the 2017 referendum, the No campaign will be at full throttle, with media help. Only our European allies can save us - 21st June
 * This assumption of guilt gives me the creeps - Michael Gove’s talk of ‘draining the swamp’ in Birmingham is about penalising people for offences not yet committed - 14th June
 * Beneath Cameron’s waffle lies a man of steel - It’s easy to think the prime minister is just muddling through. In fact he has made bold decisions and stuck to them - 7th June
 * In or out, your Euro-nightmare begins here - There are three years to go before a possible referendum on Europe, and already it’s impossible to know what to think - 31st May
 * The voters are angry. But they’re also wrong - Immigration isn’t spoiling people’s lives. The EU isn’t our biggest problem. Where is the brave leader who dares to say so? - 24th May
 * We don’t do politics any more. We just watch - Just like football, democracy has turned into a spectator sport with its preposterous over-analysis and lurid language - 17th May
 * If a politician looks you in the eye . . . he’s lying - The unvarnished truth is impossible, but it hurts to tell a direct untruth. No wonder they have to flannel and bluster - 10th May
 * If it’s a ‘yes’, they’ll be after Cameron’s head - He agreed to the Scottish referendum, after all; but it was a brave decision and the question has to be settled - 26th April
 * When would you like to die? I’m choosing 83 - If I no longer enjoyed being alive and if no one would be devastated by my death, I would choose to end my life - 19th April
 * It’s all quiet now on the Westminster front . . . - . . . but all hell’s about to break loose. No matter who wins the 2015 election, we are in for a period of party-shattering change - 12th April
 * Afghanistan was a crime. Here are the guilty - Blair’s childlike simplicity, the gung-ho MoD and opportunistic military chiefs all combined to create this waste of life - 5th April
 * The flight swallowed up by a beautiful hell - Unless you’ve been there, you can’t envisage the menacing isolation of the storm-ravaged seas where flight MH370 is lost - 29th March
 * Gay marriage in 2014? I still can’t believe it - When a small group of frightened men launched their fight 25 years ago, they never expected Britain’s warm-hearted response - 22nd March
 * They weren’t heroes. So why sing their praises? - Benn’s beliefs were poisonous, Crow was a Luddite. The Left would have crippled Britain and the Right should say so - 15th March
 * Panicked Tories are attacking their own voters - James Brokenshire blames the ‘metropolitan elite’ for fuelling immigration. He’s either suffered a brainstorm or gone rogue - 8th March
 * Ukraine, Scotland: if they want to go, let them - Whatever Russia, Britain or the EU say, nothing can stop the expansion and break-up of states and empires - 22nd February
 * A fair cop? He may not be seen as one now - The regard in which the British police are held is in a long, steady decline — but there’s still time to turn things around - 15th February
 * The State can’t bail out every flood victim - There should be generous assistance, but people must learn to accept the consequences of our islands’ geography - 8th February
 * In the worst of times Cameron has succeeded - Critics of the Prime Minister should acknowledge the economic challenges and the difficulties of coalition government - 31st January
 * The idiots’ guide to our Middle East policy - As the Geneva Conference on Syria begins, this is what John Bird and the late, great John Fortune might have made of it - 25th January
 * The Tory fifth column wants Cameron to lose - There are not 95 MPs trying to scupper EU renegotiation. There is a smaller group with a bigger agenda - 18th January
 * Why I was minding my p’s but not my q’s - My Week: An arm injury; dogs for gays; that Euro rebellion - 15th January
 * Stop play-acting. Play to your strengths - Government, they say, ends this summer. Civil servants will mind the shop while politicians brawl - 11th January



Articles: 2013

 * Fools are often wiser than us clever dicks - They say Miliband is ineffectual, Clegg insubstantial and Cameron just a posh boy. They may be right - 21st December
 * Kick open the doors to private education - Conservatives can prove they care about ordinary people by enabling them to attend the best schools - 14th December
 * South Africa may still face a day of reckoning - Even Nelson Mandela’s transcendent goodness might not be enough to secure a lasting settlement - 7th December
 * Cameron will lose if he carries on hating - The likeable and reassuring personality of the Prime Minister’s early years is in danger of disappearing - 30th November
 * Christianity opens minds. Even to atheism - Some religions in some ages, including Islam, divide people and hinder free expression between them - 23rd November
 * Steady at the helm there, Mr Cameron - If the PM is feeling the pressure from the Tory Right, he needs to quell the ranks and steer the ship - 16th November
 * Dig deep, sow seeds and watch Britain grow - The UK needs HS3 as well as HS2. We need two new cities and more technical colleges. We need long-term vision - 9th November
 * Our need to hate creates another victim - The brutal death of a man imagined to be a paedophile shows that our sexual anxieties never go away - 2nd November
 * Major, not Thatcher, should guide Tories - The media helped to destroy a prime minister whose inclusive, classless message has stood the test of time - 26th October
 * England loves winners, so UKIP must lose - The ‘little man’ supposedly championed by the far Right evokes little sympathy in our countrymen - 19th October
 * Battersea is saved. Dad would be chuffed - Yet it is odd that the impetus for the rescue came not from Britain but from the other side of the world - 12th October
 * We’ve got to get richer. All else is evasion - In promising to do something about the cost of living the Conservatives are risking intellectual disgrace - 5th October
 * Britain can do better than the Seventies - Have we forgotten that a previous generation of politicians tried and failed to control incomes and prices? - 28th September
 * Give us sunny Conservatism again, Dave - The PM must renew his optimistic message and defeat Clegg’s attempt to paint Tories as panto villains - 21st September
 * I salute Ed Miliband’s big, brave mission - For different reasons Blairites and Tories want Labour’s leader to fail in his bid to reform the union link - 14th September
 * How’s the economy? Don’t ask economists - The recent good news may be welcome but it certainly wasn’t predicted by a slew of so-called experts - 7th September
 * Cameron has struck a blow for democracy - Syria could have been another Iraq. Thanks to the just instincts of this Prime Minister, such a mess has been averted - 31st August
 * The Left hides its fire behind a smokescreen - The outrage over David Miranda should recede if the process was fair, but the Left will simply turn its guns elsewhere - 24th August
 * Conversation dies. Smartphone to the rescue - It’s not necessarily rude to play with your phone instead of talking. It’s just a way of relieving the pressure - 17th August 2013
 * We will never hunger for meat grown in a lab - A primitive instinct in carnivores makes us relish the kill. That’s something Petri-dish burgers will never satisfy - 10th August
 * Where was WikiLeaks when we needed it? - It’s true – my terror of having my eyeballs fried 30 years ago on Armageddon day wasn’t just a foolish teenage fancy - 3rd August
 * Don’t say sorry. Admit that you were wrong - Politicians should spend less time apologising and instead ask themselves what led them into their mistakes - 27th July
 * Nick is better than the awkward squad, Dave - Tory members who long for an end to coalition must remember how much voters love rose garden politics - 20th July
 * Guess who’s going to pay for politics? You! - The political parties will ask the taxpayer to pay their bills once unions and tycoons have walked away - 13th July
 * Scrap Tory associations. Build a new party - Labour isn’t the only one with local difficulties. Grassroots Conservatives no longer represent modern Britain - 6th July
 * The State’s been cut but Britain hasn’t bled - Forget scissors and axes. There’s so much public sector fat George Osborne just needs a liposuction machine - 29th June
 * ‘We’ are not the West: ‘we’ shouldn’t intervene - It doesn’t matter what Britain thinks about Syria or other great global questions. We are no longer a world power - 22nd June
 * Fight back youngsters. Gran is mugging you - After paying the pensions and health bills of older Britons, today’s generation can’t even afford their own homes - 15th June
 * The family doctor is going out of fashion - Younger, busier people are going directly to specialist A&E departments. They don’t want a local GP - 8th June 2013
 * A wonder of the world – but nobody visiting it - Zimbabwe Notebook: You are from the UK?” said the African helping us with our bags in Harare, “How is the recession there?” - 5th June
 * Dave must move against the Tory dark forces - Every time the PM moves to the Right, they want more. Unless he makes an example of a malcontent he is doomed - 25th May
 * If Dave cuts a deal with UKIP I’m outta here - Moderate Tories must tell Cameron to stop wobbling and that they will quit the party if he has any truck with Farage - 18th May
 * Raised voices do not convince me on Europe - It is hard to share the certainties of either side in the in-out argument. We don’t-knows deserve better - 11th May
 * Farage aims to destroy sensible Toryism - Cameron must energetically defend his vision of a moderate and outward-looking Conservative Party - 4th May
 * Baker’s vocational lesson for young Mr Gove - I’ve always been a believer in an old-school generalist education but visiting the JCB Academy has shifted my thinking - 27th April
 * Nothing will outrun my marathon moment - No MP has ever finished the London race faster. All lives should have one big achievement and that’s mine - 20th April
 * This end-of-an-era show should be a one-off - Among the air-kisses were genuine tears. But Lady Thatcher herself would have had doubts about this farewell - 18th April
 * This cult of the corpse is just a pagan relic - We should end our irrational reverence for dead bodies. It would free our spirits and help the sick to live - 13th April
 * Margaret Thatcher: the warrior who turned up just in time - Love her or loathe her, she proved that great leaders shape history, not the other way round - 9th April
 * Catalonia is a bigger timebomb than Cyprus - If the separatists get their referendum and manage to win, it could devastate the economies of the whole region - 6th April
 * The Tory views you won’t hear on television - Knocking Cameron and ranting about Europe is the safe-seat option. I spoke to MPs in marginals to get the true picture - 30th March
 * We won’t be next. We could be next-but-three - Don’t believe Cyprus couldn’t happen here. The best thing for politicians is to tell the truth and hang the consequences - 23rd March
 * MPs must not decide what goes in the papers - The public mood is for a press law. But that mood will blow over and we will look foolish if we give into it - 16th March
 * Your DIY guide to pointless political advice - A treat for armchair pundits: my 13 tips for saying nothing at all – and saying it loud, confident and clear - 9th March
 * Two fingers up, but government not down - The Eastleigh result means Clegg can still work with Cameron. That’s more important than any UKIP protest vote - 2nd March
 * Long live shopping. But the shop is dead - Retail parks are already the past, doomed like high streets and markets. The internet changes how we buy and think - 23rd February
 * Tell them less, Ed. You’ll only scare them - This week marked the political feast of the Flushing Out of the Opposition. And Labour fell into the trap - 16th February
 * This nasty virus could kill off press freedom - Lord Puttnam has led a sneak attack to sabotage the Defamation Bill and get statutory regulation by the back door - 9th February
 * Vote ‘no’ and you will blush to remember it - MPs who opposed civil partnerships are now all for them. The Right will soon embrace same-sex marriage too - 2nd February
 * Argentina’s hypocrites are steeped in blood - The Falkands was just a pantomime skirmish. But the wiping out of the country’s native peoples was genocide - 26th January
 * Cuba’s ideals failed. But at least it had them - A Tory isn’t supposed to think this. But Havana’s revolutionaries had something that is missing in Britain - 19th January
 * Manners, Mr Cameron. No more Mr Shouty - The PM can’t change his disobliging backbenchers, but elections are presidential now. He’d better play the nice guy - 12th January
 * Second-class Europe? What’s the point of it? - ‘Associate’ membership solves nothing. Our trading partners will still want to meddle, europhobes will still want out - 5th January



Articles: 2012

 * Love thy neighbour? Harden thy heart, too - Even a generous society must take a tough line on those who will never help themselves – or they will bankrupt us - 29th December
 * I wish I had trusted my instincts on Plebgate - My Week: Why Andrew Mitchell’s poignant words rang a bell - 27th December
 * How to lose regions and alienate peoples - The Catalan bid for independence has been handled shockingly by Madrid. Spain could learn a lot from the UK - 22nd December
 * Stamp on the grasshoppers of the Rabid Right - These spittle-flecked, obsessive reactionaries belong in UKIP. Don’t let them shelter under the Conservative fern - 15th December
 * Things can only get worse. Let’s vote Tory - The public is sold on austerity. If the Chancellor brings recovery before 2015, he will have cost his party the election - 8th December
 * Here’s what to do in the Middle East: nothing - Britain has the luxury of not being obliged to intervene in situations it little understands. We should exercise it more - 1st December
 * Church and State must loosen their bonds - It doesn’t need to be divorce. But if Anglicans take their laws from God, they can’t expect us all to follow them - 23rd November
 * We’ve never had it so bad. Rejoice, rejoice! - If you can keep your head while all around are losing theirs and blaming it on you ... you must be British, my son - 17th November
 * A very good morning for this Prime Minister - Quiet rage was the right response. Leave the chancers to drive the bandwagon of moral outrage — off a cliff -10th November
 * Heseltine or Redwood? I say firmly: ‘Yes’ - The important Tory divide is not over Europe, but between believers and disbelievers in the magic of state action - 3rd November
 * It needn’t be a disaster if we lose the ashes - A bleak future for one of our natural assets could, managed properly, be a window of opportunity for others - 27th October
 * Not your typical bully, but Mitchell was right to go - It was all a fuss over nothing, but a fuss that meant that my friend Andrew could no longer do his job as Chief Whip - 20th October
 * Religion does not belong in the small print - If those in public life are speaking from faith-based conviction, they should declare it — or we should ask - 13th October
 * To know the beast you must face it in its lair - They say party conferences are irrelevant. But this is where future leaders are forged and reveal their true nature - 6th October
 * For voters ten years is a short time in politics - We experts obsessed with the latest Westminster story can lose sight of what’s really important to most people - 29th September
 * It’s the whale in the paddling pool of politics - Party funding is a plague on us all. The politician or party brave enough to fix the system will be well rewarded - 22nd September
 * GPs will soothe you, but won’t really cure you - After shadowing two family doctors, I admire their people skills. Many patients are sicker in spirit than body - 15th September
 * Please don’t fight your cultural war on my turf - We gays are weary of your proxy battles - 13th September
 * Listen and learn the lesson of Bill Clinton - In times of chronic economic trouble we hanker for conviction, not the formless fiddling of a reshuffle - 8th September
 * Take the bull by the horns. Leave the euro - Spain is depressed, perhaps more spiritually than economically. But there is a way for Madrid to turn it around - 1st September
 * Ignore the snipers. Stick to your guns, George - The Chancellor’s critics are all over the place. Constant carping must not be allowed to undermine his authority - 25th August
 * I sit and watch, therefore I play? Garbage - A football crowd is no fitter than an opera audience. Don’t link Olympic success to bogus campaigning - 18th August
 * Hurray. But it wasn’t worth the colossal risk - Sorry to drizzle on the parade, but the costs of possible Olympic failure mean we should not have staged the Games - 11th August
 * The lights are going out across Planet Earth - My generation put its faith in international co-operation. But, as the UN’s failure in Syria shows, that dream is dead - 4th August
 * To ditch the coalition would be crackers - Any politicians who try to explain why they’ve gone back on their agreement will be met with public contempt - 28th July
 * Is the Leveson Q&A in the public interest? - To most people, ethics are instinctive. Trying to define them in a code of conduct controls nothing but our freedom - 21st July
 * The Army hasn’t pulled out. So why have we? - Afghanistan barely makes the news these days, but soldiers are still falling. We owe them, at the very least, a salute - 14th July
 * Clegg’s blackmail is scuppering the coalition - The Lib Dem leader must back down on his shameless Lords reform ultimatum. He is overplaying his hand - 7th July
 * If you can pay for it, Britain will sell it to you - What do the arms, pharmaceutical and financial industries have in common? - 5th July
 * Sure, we’re angry. But are we sure what about? - Bankers, expenses cheats, Greeks, geeks, the Chinese. We need demons but the real problem is our own impotence - 30th June
 * Moved to tears by a badger. Must be getting old - My Week: The signs of mortality are creeping upon me - 28th June
 * GPs – little more than glorified receptionists - In this age of medical specialisation, if family doctors didn’t exist we wouldn’t feel the need to invent them - 16th June
 * Warning: cigarettes may run out of battery - My Week: A smoking new invention - 14th June
 * Tear down this crime against architecture - A riverside monstrosity... The Baroness should stay... Emotional intelligence... Shaw gets the bird - 7th June
 * Breaking news: Britain not gripped by crisis - Beyond our shores the sirens of disaster are wailing. But not here. Things could be a lot worse for us at this jubilee - 2nd June
 * John Browne tells us more about work than sex - If they are nervous about nightlife how good are they at the day job? - 31st May
 * A time, a place. Two entirely different stories - Peter Ackroyd’s memories of our spell at Yale convince me of the impossibility of recalling the past accurately - 26th May
 * No one is forcing MPs to vote for gay marriage - The odd case of the Northern Ireland Secretary - 24th May
 * Diego Garcia was never really ours. So sell it - Britain still hasn’t compensated the people it kicked off an island now inhabited by the US military - but it can - 19th May
 * A stop-off in Strasbourg on the route to his MBE - Jeffrey Dudgeon gave a dinner last Wednesday to celebrate collecting his MBE. Jeffrey who? - 17th May
 * What if the turkeys don’t vote for Christmas? - You can’t blame the Greeks for trying to avoid austerity. But democracy won’t work if it’s at odds with reality - 12th May
 * The Lords by any other name would fit the bill - Fear not. I’m not about to break my self-imposed lifetime ban on ever writing a column on Lords reform - 10th May
 * Cameron is cornered. The fight starts here - But he must trust his decent, middle-of-the-road self and ignore misguided advice to appeal to ‘core’ support - 5th May
 * Why I’ll be casting my vote against cynicism - An election leaflet sticks in my craw - 3rd May
 * Ignore the devil’s whispers. Take the hard road - The temptation for Cameron is to hope the Hunt affair blows over – but the coalition is honest or it is nothing - 28th April
 * Transparency proves more taxing than I thought - He showed me his (return) so I showed him mine - 26th April
 * Who’s totally gay? There’s no straight answer - Same-sex male attraction used to be something you do, not something you are. We are not two separate tribes - 21st April
 * Sloganeering on buses mustn’t show only one side - I feel uneasy about this ad ban - 19th April
 * Tax, transparency and the point of no return - If you demand to see politicians’ financial information, make sure you’re happy to have your own made public - 14th April
 * When the ‘other side’ is too close for comfort - 12th April
 * Want a second term? Talk to the back row - Barack Obama has given a masterclass in how to persuade an audience. If only David Cameron had been there - 7th April
 * Snooping doesn’t look the same after a break - The link between Leveson and Cruddas - 5th April
 * Time moves on. Haunts of childhood stay still - Zimbabwe Notebook: Home hasn’t changed at all - 29th March
 * Dave’s a great president. But we need a PM - Mr Cameron is proving a reassuring presence at the top. It’s just that he won’t do the things that need doing - 17th March
 * Call time on these filthy, pointless phone boxes - They are as obsolete as drinking fountains - 15th March
 * Permission to blag, Sir? Permission to hack? - Turbo-charged newspaper regulation looks inevitable – and logically it will lead to controls that no one wants - 10th March
 * I’m a Huhno-sceptic, yet I still feel sorry for him - I’m experiencing this week a rare sensation: sympathy for Chris Huhne - 8th March
 * Maybe they are scroungers. Just don’t say so - British people support a harsh stance on benefits, but the Tories must not rekindle their old image as grad grinds - 3rd March
 * In mid-air I realised the problem with no alcohol - A rude awakening - 1st March
 * Revulsion isn’t enough. We can’t help in Syria - Armchair interventionists have inspired false hope in the rebels. This was Quite Simply the Wrong Thing to Do - 25th February
 * Announced in Brummie, this bread is heaven - That west Midlands accent is so sexy - 23rd February
 * Slow down this brutal beating up of Greece - Our own democracy would struggle to withstand half this pain. Theirs is far more fragile. Give the Greeks time - 18th February
 * Time to tear a strip off the misery guts mayor - 16th February
 * Sure-footed bore required to replace Lansley - When dream time turns to harsh grind, call in the grey men who spread calm like foam on a burning runway - 11th February
 * Sometimes it’s hard to tell a twit from a pig’s bladder - What you can say in Parliament, and the era when how you say it became key for Heath and Thatcher - 9th February
 * Huhne isn’t hated. He just hasn’t any friends - Clegg will feel more comfortable without him. But the high priest of differentiation will not fade quietly away - 4th February
 * Fred had to lose his K. To encourage the others - 2nd February
 * Back to scrawled notes and secret whispers? - Freedom of Information isn’t working. The more we shine the spotlight, the more things hide away in the dark - 28th January
 * Why do City folk cross the road? For the danger - A revelation on a London pedestrian crossing - 26th January
 * This could be the luckiest week in Ed’s life - The unions have started a fight. If Mr Miliband can finish it, his leadership will be saved from oblivion - 21st January
 * First, check nationality. Sniggers may then follow - When a joke sails too close to bad taste - 19th January
 * We’re all in the Union. We must all have a vote - Scottish independence would create two new countries. The whole of the UK must be consulted before it happens - 14th January
 * The pictures that tell a thousand political woes - But they may not be all they seem - 12th January
 * The piracy racket begins here in the City - Maritime insurance companies have it nicely sewn up – and they are encouraging the lawlessness to continue - 7th January
 * Rescuing that dog: was it such a great career move? - What Margaret Thatcher really thought of my act of heroism - 5th January



Articles: 2011

 * ‘Is it true?’ is the only question that matters - The Leveson inquiry has got hung up on procedure. It should ask who really suffered in the hacking scandal - 31st December
 * I’m resigned to forgetting what the fuss was all about - Can you remember the circumstances of the resignation of Charles Clarke? - 29th December
 * Faith and Hope, yes - but ditch Charity - After robbing our children to win our votes, Labour has run out of ideas. So I’m giving it one of mine - 24th December
 * Bah, humbug to life’s little annoyances, including me - Allow me to be a Scrooge. There’s a range of targets I want to take a shot at - 22nd December
 * Stand up for your faith: tolerance isn’t enough - Cameron is right to champion the positive benefits of religion. But also to steer clear of what he actually believes - 17th December
 * Two words could have prevented all this fuss - The BBC should stop wriggling over the Frozen Planet fiasco - 15th December
 * Referendum? Not yet. Put it in the manifesto - Brave and astute, David Cameron has regained his authority and kept the coalition and his party together - 10th December
 * Just a joke? Perhaps it depends who is being shot - What if a left-wing comedian joked about executing bankers on the BBC? - 8th December
 * Jam tomorrow is fine. But no jam ever again? - If politicians cannot credibly claim that things will get better it will stress-test democracy as never before - 3rd December
 * Even with a frog, he’s got them by the throat - Did the Chancellor ham up his threatening croak? - 1st December
 * Pipe down, Britain. This is not our business - We have no right to encourage other EU nations to enter a fiscal union if we have no intention of joining - 26th November
 * My dramatic spy escape was literally breathtaking - A dangerous liaison at Shepherds Bush roundabout - 24th November
 * For Cameron & Co it’s a see-saw moment - The image of this Government is not yet set in stone. A single act now could make or break its reputation - 19th November
 * A political party to which we’re all invited - A treasure trove of propaganda through the years - 17th November
 * Car use is slowing. So speed up road-building - Once a fashionable thrill, driving is now expensive and dull. Lay down more tarmac (and charge us to use it) - 12th November
 * Hold on, I thought we were against bullying... - 10th November
 * Face it. There is no answer to the eurocrisis - Both voters and leaders are deluding themselves. Europe has to accept there is no way out of its decline - 4th November
 * The Church’s big problem? Not enough fat cats - 3rd November
 * What if Ed Miliband and the protest junkies are right? - I support capitalism but can’t shake off the feeling that something has gone wrong. Look at executive pay - 29th October
 * The real crime is that the police didn’t care - I tried to help the Met catch some fraudsters, but nobody called back - 27th October
 * Back away from the brink, Eurosceptics - Putting a gun to the EU’s head is the worst option at this time. Better to chip away at its powers by stealth - 22nd October
 * Darren and Delilah, a match made in Runcorn - My hunt for a home for a male llama - 20th October
 * The Fox generation makes its exit, stage right - Only a young Turk can reconcile the deep division between social conservatism and free-market liberalism - 15th October
 * In a nutshell, it’s a miracle wrapped in an enigma -13th October
 * Nature’s law? No guide to the nature of life - Soothing classroom truths hide reality. We are taught to expect harmony, not crashes and eruptions - 8th October
 * We Tories loathe it – the whole damn thing - We don’t trust Europe. We never will. But there’s nothing concrete to be done about it, so let’s keep grumbling Matthew Parris - 1st October
 * Hard times: prepare to be 25 per cent poorer - We in the overindulgent, overspent West are living beyond our means. We must live less well or work harder - 24th September
 * Bring down the curtain on Punch and Judy - I have always loved yah-boo politics. But in these anxious times voters will no longer tolerate the old party games - 17th September
 * Look upon Blair’s mighty works – and despair - As the great showman dog-whistles for change in Iran, we should never forget how little he actually achieved - 10th September
 * No need to outsource kindness. Tories do it too - It’s not a coalition of Lib Dem foot-draggers and go-for-it Conservatives. This rightwing idea has to be killed - 3rd September
 * got away with it. Now we must turn away'' - A deadly dictator has been removed in Libya. But if its people can’t sort themselves out, we can’t do it for them - 27th August
 * unfair on them – and quite right too'' - When disorder threatens to spread, public opinion needs to be startled by the severity of the sentences - 20th August
 * with huskies and hoodies, Mr Cameron'' - The Prime Minister won cheers from the Tory Right for his handling of the riots. That should worry him - 13th August
 * party’s over. Buy back the family silver'' - This weekI went to a bullion dealer. He had run out of gold. I’m not the only one who thinks we’re doomed - 6th August
 * expects growth. It’s payback time'' - The coalition’s fate does not depend on making us richer. Standing still will be good enough for victory - 30th July
 * the eurobill. Leave a tip. Result: happiness'' - Barely adequate bailouts won’t end Greece’s troubles. Splash the cash and kill the anxiety before it grows - 23rd July
 * next 20 scandals. So you won’t be shocked'' - If you are enjoying this latest fit of faux incredulity, here are the exposés guaranteed to repeat the experience - 16th July
 * outrage over hacking is hugely overblown'' - I know I’m out of sync with the public on this, but spying on people has been going on in journalism for decades - 9th July
 * has blown the weight off our minds'' - A mood change is threatening the European monolith. The impossible now seems possible: we could leave the EU - 2nd July
 * buffoons don’t deserve our salutes'' - We messed up in Iraq and Afghanistan; we’re struggling in Libya. Are our military leaders actually any good? - 25th June
 * the unions fight, they’ll make Cameron’s day'' - The coalition will not be split on public sector pensions. This time, the Government is not for turning - 19th June
 * with competition? Your choice, comrade'' - We enjoy the fruits of capitalism yet despise the free market. It’s the duty of ministers to be honest and defend it - 11th June
 * to have anarchy than a media gagged'' - Privacy be damned. In deciding what can be allowed into the public domain, all that matters is: ‘Is it true?’ - 21st May
 * despot doesn’t mean rising democracy'' - In Africa, where the Big Man still holds sway, only wealth and the rule of law will break the cycle of dictatorship - 14th May
 * down, dears. Nothing much has changed'' - The Lib Dem drubbing was to be expected, as was Labour’s modest headway. There’ll be no concessions, no elections - 7th May
 * the monarchy game, only the bland survive'' - Prince William is said to be ‘straightforward’. It’s a good start for a man who must wear the mantle of others’ hopes - 30th April
 * Lib Dems don’t deserve consolation prizes'' - If Nick Clegg loses the AV vote, David Cameron may be tempted to offer reparations. This would be disastrous - 23rd April
 * uniform says that you’re rejecting me'' - What’s the real reason we find burkas objectionable? It goes much deeper than simply not seeing people’s faces - 16th April
 * we really judge the past by the present?'' - The Empire had to use violence at times. But the hushing up proves that officials knew they had crossed a line - 9th April
 * no time for the Opposition to lose its Ed'' - Is constant carping at the leader really valid? Be careful, Labour; Miliband is a decent man doing a good job - 2nd April
 * right thing to do isn’t always the best thing'' - It’s the cliché you can’t escape. But to discover how to act properly we need to look beyond our own hearts - 26th March
 * mustn’t pass up the chance to do nothing'' - A no-fly zone sounds so reassuring, but what then? A little mission creep and Libya will become another Iraq - 12th March
 * rattle and roll on a low-speed rail link'' - Thailand Notebook: the scene as we passed a market inches from our train would have graced a Bond movie - 5th March
 * there’s no will, there’s no way to express it'' - Which system gives most voters what they really want – Australia’s AV or our first-past-the-post? Neither - 26th February
 * Beijing won’t take all of our pies'' - The West’s nervy reaction to China’s scramble for African resources is misplaced paranoia. Just ask the Russians - 19th February
 * best policy on Egypt: leave them to it'' - The Arab world’s turmoil is momentous, yet the Foreign Secretary says little and does less. Quite right too - 12th February
 * guide to fighting those wicked Tory cuts'' - From Agreement to Zealotry via Joanna Lumley, here are the strategies for defending your special case - 5th February
 * out – Gordon’s gang are back in town'' - When sane men walked away, Ed Balls and Ed Miliband stayed. Remember that when they squeal about cuts - 29th January
 * can’t change his spots. Nor can Ed Balls'' - Forget Tory resignations or the trials of Tony. The irresistible rise of the new Shadow Chancellor is what really matters - 22nd January
 * parties must swim or sink together'' - Labour-sympathising Lib Dem voters are a lost cause. After Oldham the only hope for the partners is to do a deal - 15th January
 * have no faith. But I might be the Messiah'' - I recognise the voice that speaks of religious revelations because I have heard it myself. And learnt to distrust it - 8th January
 * kid yourselves. There must be victims'' - All governments fantasise about being liked by everyone. But being unpopular will be a great spur for the coalition - 1st January



Articles: 2010

 * trumpet pieties, but whisper the truth'' - There may be comfort in false platitudes on war, drugs and Western values, but they lead to folly and danger - 19th December
 * tuition fee vote is won. The argument isn’t'' - Rioting can catch on. If the Government isn’t to lose momentum, it must keep on forcefully making its case - 11th December
 * Clegg deserves to win his two big bets'' - Siding with protesters is in the Lib Dem DNA. Salute the Deputy PM for daring to ally himself with power - 4th December
 * it, we’re bit players on the world stage'' - We don’t have the men, the money or the machines to fight alongside the US in the Pacific. Thank goodness - 27th November
 * a coalition creature, not a Tory man'' - Modified rapture is the best the Prime Minister gets from his tribe. It’s the likes of Lord Young that get them roaring - 20th November
 * out. The political map is being redrawn'' - Old allegiances are shifting, boundaries are changing. These are uncharted waters for our party leaders – and us - 13th November
 * terrorism become a weird kind of game?'' -Al-Qaeda concentrates on glamorous, high-tech targets when it could cause low-tech chaos far more easily - 6th November
 * retreat, but prepare for the unexpected'' - We cannot shirk housing benefit reform but ministers must move fast when it throws up local difficulties - 30th October
 * isn’t about arithmetic, it’s about morality'' - There is a deep belief that the deserving do not get their deserts. So why doesn’t the coalition come out and say it? - 23rd October
 * moment of truth is upon us. No, it isn’t'' - Forget all the clichés about turning points. Britain won’t feel different after next week’s spending review - 16th October
 * not the unfairness you mind. It’s the money'' - Yes, the child benefit cuts are unequal, but what are you really cross about? Or would it seem too selfish to say? - 9th October
 * do have ideology – and they’ll need it'' - Fear, hunger and greed (within limits) are part of Tory doctrine, but we need to highlight our optimistic side too - 2nd October
 * Ed. Losing isn’t the end of the world'' - The Miliband brothers have only one aim in life. But for our best leaders there has always been a Plan B - 25th September
 * until the Centre wins out'' - I agree with Nick (Boles): the Lib Dem Left and the Tory Right need to buckle down or bail out of the coalition - 18th September
 * gallant MPs fail to clear the fog of war'' - The stage was set for a great debate about our Afghan adventure. But hark, is that the sound of uncertainty? - 11th September
 * to believe doesn’t prove God exists'' - As science snaps at religion’s heels, defenders of the faith are left with one last argument. And it doesn’t hold up - 4th September
 * himself? He can’t really be bothered'' - Despite its curious frankness, Blair’s memoirs leaves the answers to awkward questions hanging in the air - 2nd September
 * you want to save the planet, stop breeding'' - While we recycle tins, Bolivian farmers’ alpacas munch through trees. Global population must come down - 28th August
 * the retirement age to 70? No. Make it 30'' - The tick-box tribunal is a burden on business. Make it easier to sack staff - 7th August
 * the Thames at night – by breaststroke'' - After years of talk, I finally took the plunge. But my journey in vest and trunks didn’t quite go to plan - 31st July
 * the Lib Dems some slack on voting reform'' - Tory crusaders for first-past-the-post must not pounce on their partners - 24th July
 * Hirohito, we need the words for defeat'' - Buried truths are showing in Afghanistan. Soon we must face them - 17th July
 * must harden our hearts and our borders'' - The Geneva Convention has had its day. It is far too easy for millions to claim asylum - 10th July
 * the double-dip propaganda machine'' - The coalition must prepare to defend its economic policies - 3rd July
 * heart we are all competitive. Ask the bees'' - There are no ‘losers’ in society? Nonsense – watch The Times spelling contest - 26th June
 * I cut because I want to, not because I have to'' - The Chancellor should say that he wants to wield the knife regardless of the deficit’s size - 19th June
 * must know our mission is doomed'' - Cameron and Clegg have made a calculation: sacrifice more soldiers in Afghanistan to keep on side with the US - 12th June
 * choice for Labour leader? None of the above'' - I’ve been awfully rude about Harriet Harman and I meant it. But she would be best for the party right now - 5th June
 * foul hypocrisy of David Laws’ downfall'' - The Chief Secretary did not have to resign. The media conspired to bring it about - 31st May
 * mention for that special forces chap'' - A Liberal Democrat on the Treasury Bench! And to the manner born - 28th May
 * programme is no guide to the real show'' - The coalition’s agenda is lucid and laudable, but it is the character of its leaders that will shape the next five years - 22nd May
 * political earthquake in the rose garden+'' - It almost felt as if a divine hand was at work, bringing together two men to blow away years of staleness - 13th May
 * hand is strong and he’ll play it well'' - The Tories can do business with the Liberal Democrats. But the way ahead is fraught for Nick Clegg’s party - 8th May
 * squawk for change – but we don’t mean it'' - The ugly truth is that change means cuts, cuts and more cuts. That’s why we are so angry with politicians - 1st May
 * prop up Brown? He wants to kill him'' - The Lib Dem leader has a mission: the Labour Party has betrayed progressive politics. It must be destroyed - 24th April
 * have so many tuned in to be turned off'' - This mood of anti-party, aggressive apathy is dangerous to the Tories. David Cameron must confront it urgently - 17th April
 * the Tories play their trump card too soon?'' - By promising to ditch the national insurance rise, Cameron and Osborne are vulnerable to a deadly counter-attack - 10th April
 * e-mail really is deadlier than the mail'' - My inbox makes more work than my in-tray ever did, but would I go back to paper? Please don’t reply - 3rd April
 * our job to be angry. MPs must offer a plan'' - Cameron’s Captain Haddock rant was fun, but voters are anxious and ready for firm ideas. Where are they? - 27th March
 * this day forward, reward married couples'' - Everyone except a sour minority knows that marriage is good for society. Any gay man will tell you so - 20th March
 * will never stick with a Con-Libpact'' - Nick Clegg thinks a hung Parliament offers a bold new way to govern. The voters would see it as a failure - 13th March
 * down your saucepans and face the facts'' - Voters may bang their pots and wish away economic reality but we all know two and two doesn’t make five - 6th March
 * of Hong Kong. Give the Falklands back'' - We should do a deal with Argentina now to lease back the islands over 99 years and split the economic spoils - 27th February
 * the black, Vicky? It’s OK, you can cry'' - Welcome to Who Wants to be a Prime Minister? with your host, Piers Morgan. Guests include Gandhi and the Virgin Mary - 20th February
 * global warning for the man out of time'' - Cameron tamed the Tories for the Blair era, but now the world is turning Right. To stay on top, he might look Down Under - 13th February
 * rather Cameron was patient than brave'' - Those calling for a radical Tory manifesto should be careful. Brilliant ideas have a habit of frightening the voters away - 6th February
 * world view: simply goodies v baddies'' - For him the Axis of Evil was not just a soundbite but a profound philosophical insight. That’s why he has no regrets - 30th January
 * to Cameron: put away the custard pies'' - The Conservative Leader must look and sound like a Prime Minister. That means no more cheap mockery of Gordon Brown - 23rd January
 * is Groundhog Day for Blair'' - The Chilcot inquiry won’t find a smoking gun, but it traps the Iraq war blunderers in their moment of folly - 16th January
 * wanted to hurt Gordon Brown'' - Even the plotters knew that their plan was bound to fail. That’s a measure of how angry they are - 9th January
 * can’t exist if distress has been abolished'' - The Tories’ big idea is that we, not the State, should help the weak. But the brutal truth is that we will only act if we can see suffering - 2nd January



Articles: 2009

 * for England? Sometimes you just have to'' - So there’ll be no let-up for Brown next year and not much for Cameron. But the faithful can relax a little - 26th December
 * have politicians done for them? Zilch'' - In the 50 years since I was in Malawi as a young boy, life in most African villages has not changed in the slightest - 19th December
 * are far too sentimental about ‘our boys’'' - We must drop the flowery language about sacrifice. British soldiers aren’t conscripts; they volunteer to risk their lives - 12th December
 * calm and polite. Don’t rise to Labour’s bait'' - To fall back on class warfare, as Gordon Brown has signalled, is nasty politics. It could, though, prove a useful vote-winner - 5th December
 * to war wasn’t heroic: it was a no-brainer'' - Tony Blair saw only victory when he sided with the biggest boy in the playground, not an ugly wound to his reputation - 28th November
 * method in this Queen’s Speech madness'' - Usually it’s the speech that’s dreary and the phone-in responses that are works of fantasy. This year the reverse is true - 21st November
 * practical tips to save you half a lifetime'' - When I was 16 I didn’t want agony-aunt advice on sex and love, but real advice on spots and shaving – like this . . . - 14th November
 * Iron Lady and her blue felt-tip sympathy'' - Do Gordon Brown’s staff dare to correct him? - 12th November
 * one way MPs can redeem themselves'' - Parliament should save itself – and countless lives – by demanding the return of British troops from Afghanistan - 7th November
 * on the fence. It’s the least painful position'' - Cameron will be relieved once Lisbon is over. He can then stick to the British tradition of quiet foot-dragging over Europe - 31st October
 * sacrifice free speech to swat a gnat?'' - In the face of a rag-tag party with a dishcloth of a manifesto, we flinched — yes, flinched — in our commitment to liberty - 24th October
 * Brown has cast us adrift'' - Guiding a country all the time is impossible. But if nobody’s steering the ship, you’re sunk - 17th October
 * for office. And for booby traps too'' - The Tory leadership has propelled the party towards government – but it will have a job to keep the backbenchers with it - 10th October
 * Cameron hasn’t sealed the deal. Thank heaven'' - The Tories should be grateful voters remain sceptical. The lower their hopes, the less likely they are to be disappointed - 3rd October
 * my home. Get your dirty tax hands off it'' - Homeowners instinctively hate a mansion tax. They feel their hard-earned bricks and mortar should be beyond the State - 26th September
 * torch has passed. Give Osborne the credit'' - After sniping from the City that he was a political pipsqueak, the Shadow Chancellor has been vindicated -20th September
 * law will turn us into outlaws'' - The new quango teaches us that the more the State bosses us around, the less we abide by its rules - 12th September
 * it, we are on our way out of the war'' - Eric Joyce is a straw in the wind, but the wind is stiffening against our Afghan adventure, whatever politicians say in public - 5th September
 * nymph, the prince and a familiar tragedy'' - There, on the stage at Glyndebourne, the story of Diana and Charles suddenly re-emerged at a peculiarly appropriate time - 29th August
 * had 12 years. Call that an Opposition?'' - They may be close to power now, but the Conservatives have patently failed to expose Labour’s glaring weaknesses - 22nd August
 * MPs free to burst the Westminster bubble'' - Parliament isn’t necessarily a full-time occupation. But no more lawyering on the side, let them take proper second jobs - 15th August
 * reason: hurl those insults'' - A yah-boo can be much more effective than logic in knocking ideas or people off their pedestal - 8th August
 * oppose legalising assisted suicide'' - I will take my death into my own hands. The State has no business giving me the authority to die – or the authority to live - 1st August
 * to your course. There’s a stiff wind ahead'' - Norwich North shows the voters are not flapping when the Tories have the honesty to admit hard economic truths - 25th July
 * Out Now is a soundbite, not an option'' - Our forces will have to stay in Afghanistan. But Britain must resist being sucked in deeper - 18th July
 * in to this tale that spells defeat'' - A betrayal, a shooting, tested loyalties: Afghanistan is a land riven by a thousand such stories - 11th July
 * the fog, remember: victory is impossible in Afghanistan'' - It’s easy to be blinded by the valiant effort, as well as the acronyms and euphemisms. But the harsh truth does not change - 4th July
 * for Britain, Dave. It’s your national duty'' - Nail the blatant untruth on spending cuts, however dull it sounds. There is no more urgent issue facing the country - 27th June
 * the noble platitudes, what’s in it for me?'' - We shouldn’t be shocked that MPs have shown us they are an interest group like any other. Politics is about who benefits - 20th June
 * mention the rabbit. Or that word 'cut''' - Politicans are terrified of being portrayed as cutters of public spending. But why shouldn't smaller government be better? - 13th June
 * a man propelled by anger and pride'' - Gordon Brown has brought his Government and his party to their knees. Shackled together, they crawl hopelessly on - 6th June
 * go. We can't. We're waiting for Gordo'' - Like actors petrified on a stage, Labour seems unable to rid itself of Gordon Brown. But its very survival is at stake - 30th May
 * them - but don't kick all the stuffing out'' - At its best the House of Commons can be rip-roaringly effective. Indiscriminate public fury is in danger of destroying it - 23rd May
 * holes put fluffy dusters in perspective'' - Expenses are a handy stick for beating incompetent politicians. But from war-torn Lebanon the outrage looks overdone - 16th May
 * the bath plug and let out the dirty water'' - Listing housekeeping bills is a cruel demeaning of democracy. Add £30,000 to MPs' salaries and abolish all their expenses - 9th May
 * gutless Cabinet must share blame'' - Enough of Brown's failings. Why didn't his colleagues challenge his farcical expenses plan? - 2nd May
 * must put himself in focus'' - Everyone knew what Margaret Thatcher stood for; she didn't have to spell it out. But it is different for today's Tories - 25th April
 * he's bad he's very bad. But when isn't he?'' - Gordon Brown is said to have bold plans. But, in fact, they are small ideas that gained big headlines - 18th April
 * constabulary must be policed'' - Criticising the police was a no-go area for MPs. But look at the mess this lack of censure has left us in - 11th April
 * world is saved. But what about Rotherham?'' - Gordon Brown's summit was an international success. But the Tories mustn't let voters forget his failings at home - 4th April
 * the honourable thing, Mr Brown'' - An appalling speech, embarrassments at home and abroad... this Prime Minister must sacrifice himself - 28th March
 * Governor's eyebrow should trump the law'' - Hordes of lawyers are infesting Britain. Wouldn't it be better for good judgment to prevail over the loophole seekers? - 21st March
 * anyone find the Tories' foreign policy?'' - No one knows what the Opposition thinks about huge areas of the world. David Cameron must start deciding - 14th March
 * away your mops and buckets - and lead us'' - British politicians have disappeared down a supermarket aisle: we want politics to be about more than wiping up spillages - 7th March
 * the enemy and stick the knife in'' - The miners' strike was a harsh but powerful lesson in how to take on your opponents - 28th February
 * up, who's down, who cares?'' - Labour ministers are furiously jockeying for position. They don't seem to realise, voters have moved on - 21st February
 * is Prince Charles's duty to go to Australia'' - The country has been hit by disaster. This is the moment for a visit that could stop the slide towards republicanism - 14th February
 * Silly Doorsqueak Theory'' - A screeching door has planted in me the seeds of a radical new approach to management consultancy - 7th February
 * if the English patient doesn't get better?'' - As we crawl from the wreckage of the crash, the Tories must be merciless in pinning the blame on the Prime Minister - 31st January
 * no new motor to drive the economy'' - Forget all the talk of post-recession rebuilding. We were living beyond our means and must now reduce our expectations - 24th January
 * out now, or forever hold your peace'' - Trident, Heathrow, Obama, Iraq: if you think things will go wrong, don't wait until you are out the loop before you say so - 17th January
 * can stop pretending to be Blair now, Dave'' - The Tories must not be mesmerised by the last Labour leader but fight this one - and that means searching for cuts - 10th January
 * superpower needs careful driver'' - Obama has to be honest with Americans about their country's fall from predominance - 3rd January



Articles: 2008

 * 'Lifeline' to carmakers is really a bung'' - Weasel words are being used to disguise a subsidy to produce cars nobody can afford to buy - 20th December
 * the 'do-nothings' can triumph'' - ‘Hands off' is a very British sentiment. If the Tories hold their nerve their message of inaction will chime with voters - 13th December
 * dangerous temptations of instant truth'' - As communication gets ever faster, we must ask if the very speed at which we can know things endangers our liberty - 6th December
 * outrage that brings shame on Britain'' - Whether it was strong policing or politics behind the raid on Damian Green's offices, it should never have happened here - 29th November
 * housekeeping is a worthy gamble'' - If the Prime Minister's seed corn doesn't sprout, the Tory alternative will have real appeal to the voters - 22nd November
 * Darcy the dog barking mad or just all too human?'' - My inner trainspotter felt sympathy for his compulsive antics at the fence where he had once found a dead sheep - 15th November
 * not President of the World'' - Everyone seems to think Obama will improve their lives. They should prepare for disappointment - 8th November
 * resolve these old colonial burdens now'' - Our shameful treatment of two tiny specks of land for the benefit of the US military is a slur on Britain's good name - 1st November
 * is the EastEnders version of a scandal'' - The plot is thin and the cast tawdry, but the Deripaska affair could turn out to be a long and career-destroying saga - 25th October
 * can't see its huge mistake'' - Painting the Tories as old-fashioned, tax-cutting, Eurosceptic villains plays into Cameron's hands - 18th October
 * Brown's big tent would hide a narrow interest'' - If the Prime Minister makes a siren call in the name of national unity, the Opposition should block its ears - 11th October
 * return of the scorpion'' - Mandelson is back. Whatever else he may do, he fascinates. But so do scorpions - 4th October
 * manners, yes. A good kicking, no'' - The Prime Minister is grievously wounded. Further assaults will leave the Tories looking sadistic - 27th September
 * Principle chucked overboard'' - 'What works' is what all politicians believe in. Their fashionable pragmatism should worry you - 20th September
 * should dump compassion'' - The Left must embrace progress and winners, not the workshy and the weak - 13th September
 * it only men who suffer this irrational rage?'' - There's no excuse for my silly behaviour - but do I lack a gene that women have? - 11th September
 * Labour find its self-respect?'' - Brown's flailing leadership is a national emergency. His party must show it has the stomach to tackle it - 6th September
 * superior to Man? What tosh'' - For some, love of Nature is the flipside of distaste for Man. This is nonsense: as the No1 species, we're in control - 30th August
 * now realise that life begins at 59'' - Colombia Notebook: it's nonsense to suggest that you should slow down when you reach your threescore years - 28th August
 * attacking 'target culture''' - Yes, league tables and testing can be crude. But their dismissal is deeply self-interested - 9th August
 * new Prime Minister needs a new mandate'' - It is quite acceptable for the unions to help to choose a leader for the Labour Party. But not for the country - 2nd August
 * is lucky. They can ditch him now'' - Getting rid of Gordon Brown could be the difference between honorable defeat and total wipeout at the next election - 26th July



The Spectator:
Column name: Another Voice

Remit/Info: Politics, world affairs, history and travel

Section: The Magazine / Regulars

Role: Commentator

Pen-name:

Email:

Website: Spectator.co.uk

Commissioning editor:

Day published:

Regularity: Fortnightly

Column format:

Average length: 1100/1200 words



Articles: 2010

 * Australian bush says: ‘Come in’ — and then it breaks your heart'' - We are driving in inland New South Wales. We could be driving across grassy English lowland. Wide green hills roll towards a dove-grey horizon, and wisps of white curl down… - 10th February
 * purpose of being unable to remember what’s on the tip of your tongue'' - The phenomenon I’m about to describe will be infuriatingly familiar to older readers, but will have been encountered by people of any age. Even in childhood we meet it, and… - 27th January
 * Africa, where there are dreadlocks, there are white tourists being preyed upon'' - 13th January



Articles: 2009

 * claim to fame this year: I stopped a lot of people from squirting each other with milk'' - 14th December
 * time for journalists to be honest about their corrupting involvement with PR'' - 5th December
 * is like a jigsaw: it makes a picture out of puzzling chaos'' - 21st November
 * Johnson is right: the boss should make the decisions; the experts should advise'' - 5th November
 * should think most carefully before calling for censorship in any quarter'' - 21st October
 * will only ‘Think Bike’ if the bikers can be persuaded to ‘Think Motorist’'' - 7th October
 * thrilled to the core by the magnificent tribe whose talents shine the world over'' - 23rd September
 * afternoon to you,’ says the email I recently received from Mr Dowling of Berry Bros & Rudd, ‘and thank you for your recent order no. 884095, placed through our…'' - 9th September
 * at a Ryanair check-in is there always somebody weeping? In this case, at Girona airport in Catalonia last week, she was a respectable, grandma-aged German lady in a white…'' - 26th August
 * has taken me five years to realise the gap left by my father’s death will never be filled'' - 12th August
 * am proud to have joined the Totnes Tories in a pioneering political evening'' - 1st August
 * work of men like Cpl Milligan is worthy. But does it win Afghan hearts and minds?'' - 15th July
 * is good that MPs have second jobs — but they should share the proceeds'' - 1st July
 * it or not, Mandelson has grown impatient with spin and presentation'' - 17th June
 * call it ‘antiquity’. And yet, in this imperial Roman city, it seemed like yesterday'' - 3rd June
 * with Agatha Christie and the ghosts of guests past in Syria’s Baron Hotel'' - 20th May
 * funeral teaches me that Gray was wrong in his Elegy about the loneliness of virtue'' - 6th May
 * Wax has me thinking about the link between genetics and Jungian psychology'' - 22nd April
 * Capering To Caped Crusader'' - Mayor Johnson must now focus obsessively on fixing London’s transport system - 22nd April
 * spirits of Spectator editors past battled within me as I embarked on a criminal act'' - 7th April
 * economics, as in meteorology, the basic theory is both boring and largely useless'' - 25th March
 * this rate, the throne might as well be replaced by a diamanté wheelchair'' - 11th March
 * baby, the cat and Uncle Matthew hear things that others in the room barely notice'' - 25th February
 * ye of little faith! This economic crisis is evidence that the market is working'' - 11th February
 * floral shrine and an aspiring publisher made me ashamed of my unkindness'' - 28th January
 * gay lobby should rejoice at the Pope’s argument that God makes us the way we are'' - 14th January

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Articles: 2008

 * of me to say so, but English journalism is getting better'' - 12th December 2008
 * understand the true nature of history, let us start with the question of Napoleon’s piles'' - 3rd December 2008
 * need a new language to describe time, preferably without spatial metaphors'' - 19th November 2008
 * am woken by the song of the kookaburra in this ancient, haunting landscape'' - 5th November 2008
 * to myth, we are becoming ever wittier in our deployment of scorn'' - 22nd October 2008
 * back and enjoy the world economic crisis in three minutes'' - 8th October 2008
 * find Miliband’s fridge and its contents more interesting than the Foreign Secretary'' - 24th September 2008
 * the housing market collapsed. Now I fear the trade in llamas will be next'' - 11th September 2008
 * towards an explanation of why straight men like watching lesbians'' - 27th August 2008
 * you or your chatmate are looking for a nilogism or mislexis, don’t wait till an earar'' - 13th August 2008
 * really irrational thing once you have faith is to entertain reasonable doubts'' - 30th July 2008
 * blame those who worked with Brown, knew what he was really like, but stayed silent'' - 2nd July 2008
 * all too easy to leave Top Secret papers lying around — I should know'' - 18th June 2008
 * are no ‘good’ teachers: the teacher who is good for you may wreck another’s prospects'' - 4th June 2008
 * wish George Eliot or Alan Bennett had been with me in the Ryanair check-in queue'' - 21st May 2008
 * speech recorded in Hansard on an unspecified day in the near future'' - 7th May 2008
 * heart bleeds for cold-callers — it must be the most depressing job in the world'' - 23rd April 2008
 * must bore for Britain till he wins — and then shine like Tennyson’s dragonfly'' - 9th April 2008
 * the speeches of McCain and Obama has made me ashamed of our political class and its craven soundbites'' - 26th March 2008
 * obsession with rubbish drove me to share a bath with an Arsenal-supporting teddy bear'' - 12th March 2008
 * truth about the Auschwitz ‘gimmick’ row is that Labour exploited Jewish sensitivities'' - 27th February 2008
 * the Archbishop were really an intellectual, he'd answer the questions he wordily posed'' - 13th February 2008
 * much deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that life does not exist'' - 30th January 2008

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News & updates:
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References:
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Links:

 * Wikipedia bio
 * Hack watch: The security services and Whitehall have long kept dossiers on certain journalists but, characteristically, New Labour has widened the focus - as an internal cabinet memo obtained by the Guardian shows - Seumas Milne, Kevin Maguire, The Guardian, 22nd January 2001
 * Does he mean me? Alastair Campbell's diaries, published yesterday, are littered with casually abusive asides about the people he met. So what do Piers Morgan, Ann Widdecombe and his other victims think about their walk-on roles in his 794-page book? Oliver Burkeman reports - The Guardian, 10th July 2007