Simon Carr



Profile:
Full name: Simon Carr

Area of interest: Parliament, Government, Politics

Journals/Organisation: The Independent on Sunday | The Independent

Email: [mailto:simoncarr@sketch.sc simoncarr@sketch.sc]

Personal website:

Website: http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/simon-carr

Blog:

Representation:

Networks: https://twitter.com/#!/simonsketch



Biography:
About: http://www.independent.co.uk/biography/simon-carr

Education: Haileybury; Brasenose College, Oxford

Career: Helped to launch The Independent, 1986; moved to New Zealand, where he was a senior writer for Metro (current affairs magazine) and National Business Review and a speech writer for the prime minister of New Zealand, 1992/1994; since return to UK has been The Independent's Parliamentary sketch writer, 2000-
 * Random House Books biography

Current position/role: Commentator (Parliamentary sketch writer)


 * also writes/written for:

Other roles/Main role: Author, including pseudonymous humour books

Other activities:

Disclosures:

Viewpoints/Insight:
 * The Kitchen Capitalist unwraps his big idea - The Independent, 6th November 2006
 * ‘The Boys Are Back’ - Bringing up two boys in an all-male household, BBC Woman's Hour, 19th January 2010

Broadcast media: Experienced broadcaster

Video:

Controversy/Criticism:
 * Home Office (press office): "The Home Secretary wrote to Simon Carr, columnist at the Independent, to correct a number of inaccuate statements on the government's record on civil liberties, made in a recent article":
 * Home Secretary Charles Clarke's letter to Simon Carr, columnist at the Independent
 * If you still think you live in a liberal and democratic society, then please read on, Independent, 15th April 2006

Awards/Honours:

Scoops:

Other:



Books & Debate:

 * The hop quad dolly (1991) OCLC 24072312
 * The dark art of politics (1997) OCLC 43467014 (about politics in New Zealand)
 * The boys are back in town (2000) OCLC 59555778
 * The gripes of wrath: everyday absurdities to make your blood boil! (2005) OCLC 61440914
 * Sour gripes (2006) OCLC 70672118

Latest work:

Speaking/Appearances:

Debate: 

The Independent:
Column name: The Sketch

Remit/Info: Observations on parliamentary politics

Section:

Role: Commentator / Parliamentary sketch writer

Pen-name:

Email: [mailto:simoncarr@sketch.sc simoncarr@sketch.sc]

Personal website:

Website: http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/simon-carr

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Tuesday to Friday

Regularity: Weekdays

Column format:

Average length:



Comment pieces: 2012

 * Cameron is much too nice to lead nasty party - He's not saying he's going to do anything – he wants a debate about it - 26th June



Comment pieces: 2011

 * Go back to your constituencies and prepare for school! - Simon Carr is impressed – and depressed – by UK Youth Parliament - 5th November
 * Legislation could be too blunt to draw a fine line - "Celebrity," Private Eye editor Ian Hislop told the Privacy and Injunctions Joint Committee, "is the exchange of privacy for money." - 1st November
 * An economic catastrophe – and George is in ecstasy - It's not his fault, and acts as a distraction from his problems - 28th October
 * We shouldn't be surprised, he thinks he's untouchable - If it can be said Tory high command is "out of touch" – it's not quite right to say that about Oliver Letwin - 15th October
 * Ed expected lashings of laughs... - ... All he got was pain - 15th September
 * Where are the whips when a dose of real punishment is needed? - The bankers will never forget they were bailed out and got a £14bn bonus - 13th September
 * week to decide the BSkyB deal and a lot depends on the Speaker'' - Jeremy Hunt extended the consultation for his BSkyB decision for an extra week to this Friday - 6th July
 * war with Murdoch is off: Hunt announces peace in our time'' - It shows that MPs must still retain some respect from the public: we don't expect them to be afraid of anyone. But whenever Tom Watson stands up to ask about phone hacking, or the Sky bid – anything to do with Rupert Murdoch – the House goes into silence - 1st July
 * reform is all about the fog of war'' - There are astonishing sums splashed around in buying these agents of death - 28th June
 * to Ed: just say what you mean'' - Whatever a 'relational capacity' is, I am not having mine expanded by Labour - 21st May
 * smattering of villains - a dollop of tradition'' - What on earth was Mohamed al Fayed doing in the Abbey? - 30th April
 * did nurses go from nuns to sadists?'' - In more primitive days, nurses were called; it was a vocation. They wore bright uniforms with starched little caps - 16th April
 * all think we're superior to somebody'' - What most men want is to do a bit better than their father. That's all - 12th February



Comment pieces: 2010

 * Carr's verdict on the new shadow cabinet'' - 9th October
 * all sweetness and light now – but just you wait until October'' - Will they manage the 40 per cent cuts they're talking about? They'll end up with half what they aim for - 28th July
 * wants to connect with you (but not talk to you)'' - Ed Miliband said he loved his brother "very much". When people say that they're never telling the truth - 27th July
 * dark arts have even won over opposition MPs'' - You might be sick of hearing what a character the PM cuts in the Commons - 8th July
 * blocked its ears to PM's ramblings'' - PM's purpose was to set our minds at rest over immigration. Calm our fears - 1st April
 * can go too far in cursing'' - Now when Brown is accused of anything, it improves his reputation - 22nd March
 * truth won't get you anywhere in politics'' - My suspicion is that even fellow travellers take every single little thing sceptically - 10th March
 * witness is let off the hook'' - The Prime Minister had a good day. He had learned the lessons of the war - 6th March (Iraq war inquiry)
 * tingle, just the hopey-changey stuff'' - My notes are splashed with a commentary that can be rendered only in asterisks - 1st March
 * and generous with his verbosity'' - The RBS boss could hang Istanbul off his charm bracelet - 23rd February
 * on how to catch a husband'' - Women today need to know how to make men marry them – it's a lost art - 22nd February
 * truth about our former PM'' - Christ comes back and ushers in 1,000 years of security, stability and non-inflationary growth - 1st February
 * is what the best lawyer says it is'' - I've consulted enough QCs in my litigious life to know how to find out how good your case is - 28th January
 * questioning gets answers it deserves'' - If they are unable to stop politicians regurgitating this drivel they shouldn't be on the committee - 26th January
 * down? Think about suicide'' - A perfectly good alternative to eternal death is to book a week in Ibiza - 25th January
 * weather is a mug's game'' - Three days out and the forecasters are guessing – and it's been proven so - 11th January



Comment Pieces: 2009

 * read the news today. Oh boy...'' - One happy, silly item is put in to balance 500 pieces of angst and anger - 30th December
 * way to lead is by example'' - Why not pledge that in a decade all public service cars will be electric? - 21st December
 * carers in high-visibility jackets'' - Joggers should wear lights front and rear. But not number plates - 14th December
 * by chance, Vince is at the Dispatch Box next year'' - Tax revenues will have collapsed, public debt will be soaring, credit rating dropping like a stone, pound coins falling below their scrap value, bankers running through the streets seizing children for collateral... It will be Cable's moment! - 10th December
 * scientists are just as political as the rest'' - We must add climate scientists to those who treat us as hawks treat chicks - 30th November
 * call me an alcoholic'' - Binge-drinking was once praised as being safer than steady soaking - 9th November
 * kids were all right (and knew as much as our MPs)'' - When they walked in, the members of the UK Youth Parliament, my younger colleagues in the Gallery became wonderfully blimpish - 31st October
 * is as it seems in the elliptical world of immigration'' - Home Office questions. It must be said that Alan Johnson doesn't look as hopeless as he keeps saying he is. "Vote for me! I haven't got the desire, the talent, the confidence for the job!" Maybe it's a more cunning plan than we think - 27th October
 * State doesn't own our children. Yet'' - Our institutions came to exist in a state of dynamic tension - 26th October
 * role in a boy's awakening'' - News that Marge Simpson is doing Playboy sent me on a journey - 12th October
 * last day of Labour'' - Every main speech had ended with the word "We will fight! To win!" But the ragged singing of the Red Flag told a different story - 2nd October
 * I needed was a bank account'' - I was using a Mac. And their internet service didn't work on Macs ... - 7th September
 * all this gloom really justified?'' - Maybe every portrait is a self-portrait and we fear we’re doomed - 24th August
 * logic is the enemy of reason'' - Coco Chanel smoked. She is a role model. Then it gets complicated - 17th August
 * global economy: my part in its downfall'' - Why are three different debt collectors chasing the same debt? - 10th August
 * blatant crime – but no justice'' - There’s blood everywhere, and the attacker walks away nonchalantly - 3rd August
 * can't the PM ever be straight?'' - He says something in three stages with a get-out in the middle - 27th July
 * need contacts to get celebrities on the phone'' - In networking terms, you wouldn’t ask a networker for a celebrity’s number - 25th July
 * you really want reasons to be cheerful, take up golf'' - We don't play each other. We play the course. And the course wins - 20th July
 * leaders is a person's right'' - Politics happens when you start acting out of hatred of your enemies - 17th July
 * a lot in peasant wisdom'' - We've detached ourselves from our real lives to live a subjunctive world - 13th July
 * rich when others are richer?'' - If your neighbour gets a promotion, that could create serious problems - 6th July
 * then, but the real work starts now'' - Truth to tell, it is a triumph for him, the complete fruition of a long-term plan - 23rd June
 * we forget expenses?'' - Rules are a rotten way to regulate MPs' behaviour - 22nd June
 * would ever be an entrepreneur?'' - Enterprise is a nightmare of red ink and columns that don't add up - 15th June
 * Ms Smith face 'extreme' expenses?'' - To add to her travails, the Home Secretary is today receiving a claim for £100,000 by the American "extreme" radio host Michael Savage. Jacqui Smith had put him on a list of undesirables and banned him from visiting Britain - 1st June
 * weight? Live like your grandparents'' - My main failing is not lack of will power – it's greed - 25th May
 * we've only just begun. Here are three possible effects...'' - The Independent's sketchwriter on the deadliest of scandals - 22nd May
 * favourite is yet another Etonian. But could it be DD or FF?'' - What can't they do? Three Labour speakers in a row? That's too daring surely. But they are talking about an "interim speaker" who will stand down from Parliament at the next election - 20th May
 * am really not sure I'd do the right thing'' - First the bankers, then the police, now the MPs. We are seeing a wholesale crash in the structures of authority. We all believe we will do the right thing, personally, ourselves. Is that how we usher in a new Republic of Virtue? Or will we just roll along doing what everyone else does, safe in a crowd and obedient to our various masters? - 18th May
 * blame game ends with this vindictive, angry, secretive Speaker'' - In terms of Speakerly convention, the man was raving - 12th May (see: Order! Order! Outrage after Speaker rebukes MPs)
 * is perfect for conservatives'' - The bill will do the opposite of what is intended - 11th May
 * Hislop got news for you about privacy'' - He must know more terrible things about more terrible people than anyone else - 6th May
 * is in his bunker, with the crisis to come'' - The PM is divorced from reality. He can no longer see for himself - 4th May
 * must be gullible to keep listening to these scares'' - We do provide a receptive climate for the bacillus of looming disaster - 27th April
 * fury, treachery, suspenders'' - Take a condensed edition of the news and then see if you're not anxious - 20th April
 * sorry is the hardest word for Gordon'' - Poor old Gordon, it's because he hasn't got any manners. He could have shut this down at the beginning of the week with a little human expertise. But he thinks – and who can blame him? – that there are more important things going on, and he should be seen to be up there saving the world, not down here scragging in the media playground - 17th April
 * Godly guidance must be bolder'' - Memo to Tony: Ignore the carping from critics, you're on to something real - 13th April
 * good diarist knows himself'' - Chris Mullin created a great comic character - the one called Chris Mullin - 6th April
 * to save? Go deep into the red'' - You can't stuff it under the mattress – police will confiscate it - 30th March
 * MPs are just benefit cheats'' - In what sense are their claims not a welfare fraud? - 28th March
 * price rise isn't going to stop teenagers binge-drinking'' - Alcohol abuse is one of our most enduring national characteristics - 16th March
 * will be the ruin of us all'' - The more doctors screen for diseases the less they will examine patients - 9th March
 * yourself... ignore the do-gooders'' - When I gave up alcohol entirely I wanted to die. It was the boredom - 2nd March
 * how to make a real apology'' - Those saying sorry show no remorse, don’t repent, and are not contrite - 16th February
 * science and St Valentine say women are the superior sex, who am I to argue?'' - Evolving women selected men with smaller heads. They were less trouble - 14th February
 * Here's what I'd say to the bankers - Many think that regulation is the answer. It isn't. Revenge is - 9th February

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 * New Statesman articles