Simon Barnes



Profile:
Full name: Simon Barnes

Area of interest: Sport, Environment, Birdwatching

Journals/Organisation: The Times

Email: [mailto:simon.barnes@thetimes.co.uk simon.barnes@thetimes.co.uk]

Personal website:

Website: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/public/profile/Simon-Barnes

Blog:

Representation: Capel and Land

Networks:



Biography:
About: "Simon Barnes is the multi-award-winning chief sportswriter. He also wrtites two weekly columns on wildlife." - The Times

Education:

Career: The Times, since 1982; columnist for Birds magazine, publication of the Royal society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB)

Current position/role:


 * also writes/written for:

Other roles/Main role:

Other activities:

Disclosures:

Viewpoints/Insight:

Broadcast media:

Video:

Controversy/Criticism:

Awards/Honours

Scoops:

Other:



Books & Debate:

 * How to Be a Bad Birdwatcher (ISBN 190409595X); A Birdwatcher's Companion (ISBN 9626344466)
 * The Meaning of Sport, 2007 (August) (ISBN 1904977855)
 * How to be Wild, 2007 (October) (ISBN 1904977979)

Latest work: The horsey life: a journey of discovery wih a rather remarkable mare OCLC 299095549, 2008

Speaking/Appearances:

Debate: 

The Times:
Column name:

Remit/Info: Sport

Section: Sport

Role: Chief sportswriter

Pen-name:

Email: [mailto:simon.barnes@thetimes.co.uk simon.barnes@thetimes.co.uk]

Website: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/opinion/columnists/simonbarnes

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Various days

Regularity: Several times a week

Column format:

Average length: 900/1100 words



Articles:
Selected articles
 * Hold on to Oscar, the symbol of progress - I’m grateful to the ‘bladerunner’ every time I go out with my son, who has Down’s syndrome - 15th February 2013
 * Power brokers immune to pleasure and pain - Look at the monstrous regiment of horrible old men who run sport, the great grumpocracy that shapes our sporting world, and you can’t help but wonder: where did it all go wrong? - 4th February 2013
 * Pros can’t just play the game – it’s their life - What’s my job? The overwhelming question of modern sport — and one most of us didn’t know was ever asked - 1st February 2013
 * Sad day when you can’t even trust the ballboy - Victoria Azarenka and Charlie Morgan make an unexpected couple. But their actions this week demonstrate one of the crucial truths of modern sport: that when professionalism comes in through the door, trust jumps out of the window forgetting its trousers - 29th January 2013
 * Threatened species integral to fun and Games - The Games work because they combine continuity with madness. The Olympic Games is a ceremony of misrule, in which some of the craziest human notions of competition are given free rein: beach volleyball, track cycling, triathlon - 22nd January 2013
 * In my book, there is no time like the present - Spring is on its way. I heard mistle thrush singing the other day - 15th January 2013
 * The terrible truth that all cheats have to face - The great Faust story of sport takes yet another twist: the strange morality tale of Lance Armstrong grows ever more complex - 8th january 2013
 * Historic horsey heroics highlight of my year - One of the greatest satisfactions in sport is to be a soft touch and a laughing-stock and then win - 18th December 2012
 * Even without the Olympics, 2012 would have been the most fabulous sporting year - 11th December 2012
 * National must follow example of going soft - This week a thoughtful piece in these pages from Andy Stephens included a statistical analysis of the fallers in some of the big races in the National Hunt calendar - 7th December 2012
 * Harsh reminders of football’s grimmest days - Suddenly racism is cool again. How odd it was to be flying home after the cricket in Mumbai scanning the English papers and reading of English racism - 4th December 2012
 * Maidan offers glimpse into true soul of India - You pass the Maidan when you walk from the Taj Mahal hotel to the Wankhede Stadium, and it’s here that you find the real action. On Sunday morning even Mumbai is a little on the quiet side, at least by its own standards - 27th November 2012
 * Tests are Bach to T20’s Beach Boys - Twenty20 is great, but the fact — not my opinion, the fact — is that Test cricket is a better game. It has to be, because there is more in it - 20th November 2012
 * Golf must change ancient stance on women - this has been a triumphant year for British sporting women and the Olympic and Paralympic Games have been at the heart of it. The next Olympics will take place in Rio de Janeiro in four years and will include golf. It’s time, then, for golf to start taking women seriously - 13th November 2012
 * Referees seemed untouchable – until now - if you wanted to destroy somebody in football, somebody who, in normal circumstances, would be completely untouchable, you accuse him of using racist language. It is the ultimate weapon - 2nd November 2012
 * Cycling’s false frontage just blew away - No wonder he called them scumbags. They told the truth and that is the last thing you want when you are used to living in a world that is bright and beautiful and utterly phoney... - 30th October 2012
 * The Kick It Under The Carpet campaign - The nub of the problem is that Kick It Out has become increasingly associated with the pious assumption that football has done the job on racism - 23rd October 2012
 * Plea of innocence by UCI will not hold water - Like throwing a boulder into a polluted pond, the ripples of the Lance Armstrong case continue to spread - 16th October 2012
 * Sorry seems to be the hardest word for John Terry - The astonishing thing about John Terry is that so many people have the greatest admiration for him - 2nd October 2012
 * Tragedy that became a lesson in humanity - Back in the 1980s, I had a taste for shocking people. So I would say things like “football’s great” or “I really like football”. Some people thought I was mad, others that I was a born contrarian. Back in the Eighties, football was the love that dared not speak its name - 25th September 2012
 * Versatility makes champions extra special - Camelot’s narrow failure to pull off racing’s Triple Crown at least shows us how appallingly difficult it is - 18th September 2012
 * Britain’s ode to joy - Bliss was it in that summer to be alive, but to be in London was very heaven - 11th September 2012
 * Baker improvises her route to gold - What do you do when Plan A fails? It’s one of the crucial questions in sport - 4th September 2012
 * Lance Armstrong page-turner peddled pure fiction - It was a rare thing for me: a sporting autobiography I read all the way through. It helped that it wasn’t really a sporting autobiography; it was called It’s Not About the Bike. This was Lance’s Armstrong’s book, of course, the man becoming myth as the pages turn - 28th August 2012
 * The debt we owe Usain Bolt - Every Easter the Pope stands on the balcony of St Peter’s in Rome to bless the city and the world: Urbi et Orbi. Usain Bolt, perhaps the only person on the planet who would find this comparison natural, came to the Olympic Games and did the same thing - 18th August 2012
 * Raise your glasses to those humdrum days - Eight bookings, one sending-off, John Terry haranguing the ref, John Terry’s FA hearing, John Terry continuing to exist, transfers, groin strains, Ashley Cole, footballers agreeing personal terms, Joey Barton... - 17th August 2012
 * My favourite moment of those 17 days? All of it - Golly. Did that really happen, or did I just dream it? Did London really stop for 17 days to throw the greatest party in the history of the universe? - 14th August 2012
 * Champagne moment that must be milked - A very strange thing happens to the home-team athletes at the Olympic Games - 13th August 2012
 * Women prove worth their weight in gold - I spent the afternoon watching women leaping ten feet in the air on bikes, which is a pretty wonderful way to spend a couple of hours - 11th August 2012
 * Lightning Bolt strikes twice - Play it again, Usain - 10th August 2012
 * Olympics at their brutal best for ladies of the lake - Sheer heaven for the spectators, pure hell for the contestants - 10th August 2012
 * Sport can achieve what history cannot - How wonderful it is that we have a British hero called Mohamed. Go a few centuries back and they’d as soon have had a British hero called Antichrist - 8th August 2012
 * No time for losers as national hopes soar - Sport is cruel, but we know that and we expect it. And anyway, sport is not half as cruel as its audience - 4th August 2012
 * Excellence in obscure pursuits brings joy to us all - The principle that lies behind sport is the basic human drive to do something better than the person next to you - 3rd August 2012
 * Our heart’s desire, satisfied at last, by lovely Lady Gold - A gold medal is something for which exceptional people have done exceptional things - 2nd August 2012
 * Heart-in-the-mouth action comes home - Bloody horses, what the hell are they doing at the Olympic Games? Horsey events are expensive to put on, they’re elitist, eventing is a closed shop of half a dozen nations, they take up far too much space and it’s high time they were kicked out of the Games - 31st July 2012
 * Give sport a chance. You might even enjoy it - Gay or straight, male or female, intellectual or philistine, revel in the drama, excellence and magic of the Games - 27th July 2012
 * After last of summer whine, it’s party time - The greatest Olympic event of them all is just about to end. The Olympic Whinge has become an event that lasts seven years, and we’ve been giving it our all since the Games were first awarded to London in 2005 - 24th July 2012
 * Women's rights is more than a trivial pursuit - Sport’s power comes from its powerlessness; sport’s meaning comes from its meaninglessness - 23rd July 2012
 * Five letters: countless hurtful implications - As the constellations and galaxies of asterisks that shone over the John Terry trial begin to grow dim, an emerging truth shines out. And it’s not about f***ing and it’s not about c***: it’s about the word in the middle, the only one The Times was happy to print out unstarred - 17th July 2012
 * Authenticity beats entertainment any time - There will be some who sighed with relief at the taut and competitive nature of the women’s singles final at Wimbledon at the weekend. There are others who tempered praise with a small sneer; at least there was something like a match for once - 9th July 2012
 * Breaking news: Roger Federer is as human as you or me and that’s what makes him great - There’s a curious pain in watching an unforced error from Roger Federer - 3rd July 2012
 * Loneliness of the short-distance shooters - And then everything changes. All movement ceases. The shifting patterns of colour become static... - 29th June 2012
 * Pity the poor lads who fail competence test - Sometimes sport doesn’t require joy or brilliance or self-expression or even exceptional talent — and perhaps these are the hardest moments in sport - 25th June 2012
 * A beginning, a muddle and an end - And so with dreadful inevitability England’s adventure in the European Championships came to penalties, and once again – as usual – they lost - 25th June 2012
 * Never-say-die attitude reveals a basic lack of common sense - That’s one of the things that separate champions from people such as you and me. Common sense, it’s called. And champions lack it - 12th June 2012
 * What sort of society demeans a goddess? - What does the internet tell us about ourselves? - 5th June 2012
 * Why thinking of England reflects new reality - It is cricket that is now plagued by high expectations; unrealistic expectations - 29th May 2012
 * How villains satisfy our deep-seated needs - Is he sport’s greatest villain? He is frozen in time on the cover of a book called unapologetically The Dirtiest Race in History... - 22nd May 2012
 * When the fact became stranger than fiction - It’s easy to take readers by surprise in fiction. All you have to do is cheat. - 18th May 2012
 * Outcome of title showdown all in the mind - It’s all quite clear now. The Barclays Premier League title will be won and lost in press conferences and interviews - 29th April 2012
 * Barça stung as beauty is bested by the beast - 1 Bumblebees can’t fly. 2 Barcelona beat Chelsea in the Champions League semi-final. - 27th April 2012
 * Formula One clouded by money and pollution - When you go through airport security they take away your liquids, your pen-knife and your sense of perspective. Well, that’s certainly true when you travel for sport - 23rd April 2012
 * Intolerance – that’s what made Britain great - We’ve gone soft. You can see it everywhere you look. Sport is supposed to tell us important things about people and society. Well, for my money, sport tells us just how soft we’ve become - 20th April 2012
 * Sport cannot always be business as usual - Every now and then sport becomes a dodgy political act. You can always tell when, because people in sport go to great lengths to tell you that it is not a dodgy political act at all. It’s just business - 16th April 2012
 * One race, too many horses and too many misfortunes - Once again, the Grand National ended up with the plaintive cries of people who love horses trying to justify the avoidable death of horses - 16th April 2012
 * Exhibitionist points up sport’s vulnerability - Trenton Oldfield did a useful thing when he plunged into the Thames on Saturday. I’ll leave the condemnation of his attention-seeking dip to others. There is plenty of scope for it, after all - 9th April 2012
 * Football tolerates everything but change - Football is a brothel for intolerance. Just as in the ordinary kind of brothel, you can go there for what you can’t get at home, for what you can’t get away with anywhere else. Normal rules are suspended - 6th April 2012
 * Rare breed that enjoys power and the glory - There has been a revolution in the way we follow football over the past half-century. Once upon a time, it was the players who were the stars, and every club were memorable for their star player. These days players are secondary; it is managers that matter - 2nd April 2012
 * When hoping that the Brit gets beat is OK - It always comes as a shock to learn that The Times has readers. I mean, actual people who buy the newspaper and read chunks of it. They’re not even journalists. Makes you think. I mean, there may be real people reading this very column - 30th March 2012
 * Rocky road to excellence will become much steeper for good guy - Never mind the bollocks, here’s Stuart Lancaster. Honesty first; everything follows from that, right? All those things like hard work and personal responsibility and personal decency - 30th March 2012
 * Sport gets lost in the land of shopping - It is almost impossible to avoid Westfield Stratford City, Europe’s biggest urban mall that crouches like a monster in front of the Olympic complex - 26th March 2012
 * Olympic Games? We’re having a laugh . . . - Have you been to Canada? Great place. Relaxed, friendly and cheerful, so long as you don’t get them going on the United States. Some nice cities, some fabulous wild places. If you haven’t been, go - 26th March 2012
 * In awe of queleas - I am in love with this picture. And not just because it shows the savannahs of Africa, my preferred habitat, the one I evolved for. It’s because it represents the most brilliant visual pun - 17th March 2012
 * Dogged England will have its day - There is a dogged honesty about the England team that contested the Six Nations - 17th March 2012


 * Why five nations football could go with a zing - International rugby union keeps telling us how global it is; international football keeps telling us how meaningful it is. They are both wrong - 10th October 2011
 * Survivor’s guide to playing the fame game - Here it is: your cut out and keep guide to being a sports star. I have put it together as a service to all sports stars - 7th October 2011
 * Players are denying Martin Johnson respect he deserves - When Martin Johnson was first made captain of the Lions, a lot of people wondered if he was up to the job. But the tour manager, Ian McGeechan, said: “I just liked the idea of him walking down the corridor to toss up and the South Africans opening the changing-room door to see who was there. They’d look up to see Johno framed in the doorway and know that we meant business.” - 4th October 2011
 * Men of honour who lost hold of their halos - Rugby union has always been the Pharisee of sports. The sport that prays: “God, we thank thee that we are not as other sports are.” Sports such as rugby league and association football - 3rd October 2011
 * Sporting jokers are no laughing matter - Tee-Hee breaks James Bond’s finger. “Bond uttered a soft animal groan and fainted. ‘Da guy ain’t got no sensayuma,’ commented Tee-Hee.” But in sport, it’s the possession of a sensayuma that causes the problems. If you’re involved in sports, never, ever joke. All those who joke end up regretting it - 27th September 2011
 * Athletes, the naughty vicars of the 21st century - And still it goes on. No one has called it Dwarfgate yet, but give them time - 23rd September 2011
 * Arsene Wenger must learn how to be a faith healer - It’s the same as bumblebees, really. If you can prove that a bumblebee is incapable of flight, you must also be able to prove that Arsenal are incapable of having a bad season. Which goes to show how far a theoretical knowledge of sport will take you - 17th September 2011
 * Andy Murray’s plight remains nearly but not quite - My Andy Murray carbon footprint was beginning to bother me, so perhaps it’s as well he failed to make the final of the US Open - 13th September 2011
 * Why treasure hunts leave us disappointed - Alas poor Jess. And we thought that she didn’t do second. Now we have to accept her humanity - 5th September 2011
 * gloat when you can have a grumble'' - Whingeing is vile and ugly and life-denying but grumbling is a basic human right. Without grumbling we would have no way of coming to terms with the cosmically dismaying truth that life is no better than it is - 30th August 2011
 * Sporting history measured in feats and inches - Mike Brearley more or less demolished the craft of sports writing in a single piece written for The Observer in 2009. Recalling — what else? — the Ashes series of 1981, he wrote: “It is tempting to see the chain of events as not only inevitable but morally appropriate.” - 26th August 2011
 * trot is over as dressage takes a bow'' - England has the best Test team in the world; Great Britain has the best dressage team in Europe. It’s hard to say which is the more remarkable achievement - 23rd August 2011
 * of humility and arrogance is the making of batting superheroes'' - It was some time after tea yesterday that I realised what has happened to Kevin Pietersen and Ian Bell. They’ve exchanged atoms - 20th August 2011
 * triumphant over this sheer excellence'' - Tell me, when Honeychile Ryder walked out of the sea in the film of Dr No, naked except for — to employ an appropriately Fleming-esque locution — a white bikini, a webbing belt and a knife, was your first reaction disappointment? - 19th August 2011
 * the greatest have limited time scale'' - Roger Federer is 30. No matter what wonders he may have left for us, he is entering the endgame - 9th August 2011
 * winning England is so hard to stomach'' - England the best cricket team in the world? This is going to take a lot of adjusting to. We’re more used to the idea of England being the worst - 5th August 2011
 * Olympics: bigger, dafter, more awesome than anyone could imagine'' - Watching the Olympic Games on television is like looking through a telescope at the heavens - 27th July 2011
 * fabulous: why Test cricket steals the show'' - Sport is fabulous and Test cricket is the most fabulous of all forms of sport. We are a species of fabulists, telling tales and receiving tales is nothing less than the way we understand the world - 22nd July 2011
 * thriving on sport’s masterpieces'' - I came across a fine and thought-provoking line in the course of reading last week - 19th July 2011
 * all about tackling our fears head-on'' - We watch sport because we love courage. There is no courage without fear. Therefore sport is about fear - 15th July 2011
 * easy, all you Mr & Mrs Smiths out there'' - Footballers of England rejoice. Cast aside your Y-fronts - 12th July 2011
 * and Games? Forget it for London 2012'' - If you go to watch the events of the Olympic Games, then remember you have not bought the right to be entertained. You have bought the right to see athletes tested to their limits - 12th July 2011
 * to burst the babble of articulate athlete'' - Remember the good old days when professional athletes were inarticulate? - 5th July 2011
 * things crucial to our sporting addiction'' - My colleague Owen Slot did a rum thing this week: he used the first-person pronoun. He does that about once every 18 months. Unlike a writer such as I, he aims for some kind of objectivity - 1st July 2011
 * face of cheating: a handy reminder'' - This week brought us the 25th anniversary of the Hand of God - 24th June 2011
 * is all about deeds, not decimal points'' - During one of the many rain delays during the Test match at the Rose Bowl, I switched on the television to find not action but Athers, filling in with eloquent conversation on the subject of statistics - 20th June 2011
 * tolls for great feats and leaves only fame'' - On Boxing Day, 1967, the entire nation sat down to watch a film by the Beatles. In Britain and across the world the band were at the absolute peak of their fame. But as Magical Mystery Tour unfolded, we began to realise that the Beatles were no longer at the absolute peak of their ability. The decline had begun - 24th June 2011
 * of sister act plays to mixed reviews'' - The Williams sisters are back and, as usual, no one has any idea how to deal with it, or, for that matter, them - 14th June 2011
 * Strauss suffers the captain’s curse'' - You can say what you like about Fabio Capello, but he won’t ever sky the ball during a penalty shoot-out - 7th June 2011
 * Bernie, but it’s always been political'' - Bernie Ecclestone said that Formula One “doesn’t do politics or religion”. He said this as his sport decided, with epic crassness, to hold the Bahrain Grand Prix this year after all - 6th June 2011
 * the solution to Fifa’s image problem'' - 3rd June 2011
 * and effectiveness are married'' - Beauty is one of the problem areas of sport. Sport can be beautiful, all right — perhaps it’s more often beautiful than it is ugly - 31st May 2011
 * the Good Guy brand – it’s all humbug'' - The real issue behind this Ryan Giggs business — you may have read something about it — is not sex - 27th May 2011
 * deserving of double-qatar for stupidity'' - I’ve just been given a new copy of the classic The Deeper Meaning of Liff. That’s the one, co-authored by Douglas Adams, the Hitchhiker’s Guide man, that takes “common experiences, feelings, situations… - 24th May 2011
 * Lords of the ring symbolised their era'' - They draped the coffin in a Union Jack and spelt out “Our Enry” in flowers as they laid Sir Henry Cooper to rest this week: a figure of his time if ever there was one. We shall not see his like again - 24th May 2011
 * ‘Enery: never a god, more like one of us'' - Henry Cooper was never a world champion. Probably it was better that way - 3rd May 2011
 * maverick to madman: a Special report'' - Jose Mourinho’s tirade after Real Madrid’s 2-0 defeat by Barcelona revealed him to be not a free spirit but the loony on the Tube - 29th April 2011
 * of whipping needs to be thrashed out'' - there are two or three almost insurmountable problems when it comes to the question of the whip - 26th April 2011
 * debate is all over bar the shouting'' - The shift in cricket’s power has made about 1.2 billion people very happy — and that’s just in India - 22nd April 2011
 * of Games gives reason to celebrate'' - This is Biodiversity Day. This column has decreed this unilaterally, but then every day is Biodiversity Day, just as every year is the International Year of Biodiversity. We wouldn’t survive on this planet were things otherwise - 19th April 2011
 * of sporting conflict many and varied'' - Golf, the world’s cruellest sport — discuss,” Matt Dickinson, my colleague, wrote from the Masters this week - 15th April 2011
 * this National will have to be my last'' - I think I might have to hang up my boots. I’m not sure that I have another Grand National in me - 12th April 2011
 * Rooney not unusual in using rage as tool for success'' - Rooney scored a hat-trick last weekend but it didn’t make him happy - 8th April 2011
 * romance, glory, beauty and horror of the Grand National'' - 6th April 2011
 * of maverick spinner a real page turner'' - Sri Lanka may have fallen agonisingly short at the cricket World Cup but Chinaman heralds the birth of the Great Sri Lankan Novel - 5th April 2011
 * of a kind and the last of a dying breed'' - The two greatest present players of the game come together tomorrow for the final of the cricket World Cup - 1st April 2011
 * Sir Alex Ferguson has world at his bleat'' - Many people believe that Sir Alex Ferguson deserved his five-match touchline ban and his £30,000 fine because he committed the crime of questioning authority - 22nd March 2011
 * for courses? No, they’re all wonderful'' - It was as they charged towards the first in the Queen Mother Champion Chase that the thought occurred to me as if for the first time - 18th March 2011
 * England out on an emotional limb at World Cup'' - And to think that I was predicting that the cricket World Cup would be predictable - 15th March 2011
 * suffer from all too familiar lack of authority'' - Scotland, this year’s potential wooden-spooners, found grand slam-winning form thanks to their unrecognisable brilliance - 14th March 2011
 * Alex Ferguson’s order of silence was music to the ears'' - Have you heard the dreadful news? It’s the most disappointing event in the sporting world this year. I just feel so terribly let down. I am sure we all do. Such high hopes — and all dashed - 11th March 2011
 * men without shame in the fame game'' - Ladies and gentlemen, today we present the most intensely competitive event in sport: the competition for the Most Grotesque Footballer in England - 8th March 2011
 * hatred just a sign of inadequacy'' - France head coach’s comment that his countrymen ‘hate the English’ says more about him than those he is trying to criticise - 25th February 2011
 * real life shatters our field of dreams'' - Real life is always a difficult matter in sport; real death is a good deal worse. The Bahrain Grand Prix is scheduled for March 13; four people were killed there on Thursday by security forces as pro-democracy enthusiasm swept over the place - 22nd February 2011
 * of the people is sporting hara-kiri'' - The great sports are so deeply embedded in our culture, so inextricable a part of our Weltanschauung, so essential to the way we enjoy and understand our lives, that they will be with us for ever. That, at any rate, is the assumption on which our great sports are run - 19th February 2011
 * Wayne Rooney thrives in finishing school'' - Rooney’s score was a classic moment-of-magic goal - 15th February 2011
 * all drink to the Campaign for Real Footy'' - The time has come for those who prize international football to fight against the battle being waged by the Premier League - 11th February 2011
 * athletes know trick of when to answer'' - As every person with red blood in the veins knows, one of life’s great pleasures is watching University Challenge and shouting out the answers before the students - 8th February 2011
 * balls, please. Murray can change stars'' - Andy Murray will never win a grand-slam tournament. Reason? Because he’s a Loser - 4th February 2011
 * Murray’s chance passes in mortal combat'' - Defeat for British No 1 by Novak Djokovic in the Australian Open final was a reminder of the difference between gods and mortals - 1st February 2011
 * know the refusal rule? Ask Lucinda'' - Andy Gray and Richard Keys find it hard to deal with the idea that women are competent to officiate in football; you may have read something about it. I wonder how they would get on in a sport in which women not only officiate, but compete against men — and frequently beat them - 28th January 2011
 * this is it for the Williams era, we should salute them'' - Venus out in the third round of the Australian Open. Serena at home, nursing a poorly foot. The end is… - 25th January 2011
 * to accountants: put value before price'' - I feel really bad. I haven’t done right by the people who are ruining sport. The accountants, the administrators, the marketing people: the monstrous regiment that believes, quite sincerely, that the function of sport is to make money and that the duty of those who run sport is to allow sport to make as much money as possible - 21st January 2011
 * in a row makes a slam, for my money'' - Nothing like a legendary feat to inspire the imagination. And sport is great at supplying them: these occasions, these feats, these achievements that are so much more than mere victory - 17th January 2011
 * for art’s sake seldom wins trophies'' - I caught the start of the Arsenal game on Wednesday night. Lovely stuff, eh? Those angles. Those passes. The wit, the style, the invention: it was a joy to watch - 14th January 2011
 * Hodgson’s fate sealed on day he gets the job'' - It was with the fall of Roy Hodgson that the penny finally dropped. I now understand why football clubs sack managers - 11th January 2011
 * smells like team spirit'' - Forgive me, but I’m not going to gloat. It’s far too beautiful. It would be like gloating over Hamlet, or over the Turners in the National Gallery, or like singing the Barmy Army Song at Glyndebourne - 7th January 2011
 * culture a matter of trust and forgiveness'' - The difference between England and Australia has been Paul Collingwood. That may seem eccentric but these were Collingwood’s Ashes - 7th January 2011
 * enjoy our superiority over Australia'' - When you beat another country at sport, does it mean you are a superior nation? - 2nd January 2011
 * cricketers shamed, Fifa blamed and the Tiger tamed'' - 9 Points for Portsmouth as they entered administration. 0 Matches lost by New Zealand at the football World Cup - 28th December 2010
 * deluded, denuded not-so-beautiful game'' - There’s no there there. Gertrude Stein’s words of Oakland, California. The emperor’s got no clothes. The little boy’s words in the fable about hypocrisy and plain-speaking - 24th December 2010
 * and stupidity the modern theme'' - Football, like all sports, is fascinating because it shows in dramatic form exactly what sort of a person you are. In football you are condemned to stand before the world exactly as you are. But over the past couple of seasons, the way in which the process of character-revelation takes place has changed beyond recognition - 21st December 2010
 * boffins believe David Beckham deserves an award. They really need to get a life'' - Here’s some rather thrilling news: the BBC, a very grown-up and serious and completely baked organisation, is to give David Beckham an award tomorrow - 19th December 2010
 * courage swings vote A. P. McCoy’s way'' - That rum old thing, the BBC Sports Personality of the Year, is with us again, an arbitrary award in a trivial pursuit, a nugacity within a nugacity. Yet it still has an odd emotional resonance - 18th December 2010
 * in cricket offer the sign of things to come'' - Soon every match on every village green across the country will be marred by people making the referral sign - 14th December 2010
 * must be mad to retain any faith in Fifa'' - The really good thing about the decision to hold the World Cup in Qatar in 2022 is that it is unambiguously mad - 6th December 2010
 * have become the new Poms'' - I’ve seen all this before, of course. Often - 30th November 2010
 * intensity provides whole package'' - Why do people like Strauss, like Atherton, like the England cricket team, like any one who plays sport at the highest level, like just about everybody who plays sport as if it matters — why do they put themselves through it? - 28th November 2010
 * before club must be the right call'' - Do we really want international football any more? - 23rd November
 * larrikins and heroes from Down Under'' - I’m off to Australia on Sunday. The Ashes, you know. Our deadly sporting enemies and all that. But it’s not exactly a trip into East Berlin in the Sixties, or a visit to Afghanistan right now - 19th November 2010
 * flair under cover is secret of success'' - We English, we love flair in sport. We love flair wherever we find it. Unless we find it in an Englishman - 15th November 2010
 * Harrison and David Haye happy to exploit hate game'' - Is hatred necessary? Does hatred make for better sport? Does hatred give added meaning, purpose and relevance to sporting contests? You would think so if you’d been reading the papers this week - 11th November 2010
 * 2018 vote is corrupt, let’s get losing it right'' - If the England bid is rejected because British journos told the truth, surely this must suggest that Fifa is corrupt, putrid and stinking - 9th November 2010
 * dog eat dog, and you must have best bite'' - As The Times launches its Eureka iPad app focusing on the integration of sport and science, Simon Barnes offers his take on why people cross the line first. Making history is irrelevant - 9th November 2010
 * masking football’s ability to up the anti'' - It’s always football. Whenever you follow the more grotesque forms of politics, you end up on the road that leads back to football - 29th October 2010
 * offers only pollution, not a solution'' - Formula One is not only a celebration of the fossil-fuel culture that was one of the main factors in bringing the world to crisis. It is also a deliberate celebration and escalation of that culture - 25th October 2010
 * and Manchester united in an inevitable decline'' - Sport reveals a truth: that however good something is, something always spoils it - 22nd October 2010
 * of time clog argument over greats'' - Has Sachin Tendulkar overtaken Don Bradman as the greatest batsman in cricket history? - 19th October 2010
 * of money leaves sport short-changed'' - What’s the difference between Peter Ridsdale at Leeds United and the Hicks-Gillett regime at Liverpool? - 15th October 2010
 * or conman: which is game’s lesser evil?'' - Suddenly we’re all worried about tackling. It doesn’t seem terribly long since we were all worried about diving - 12th October 2010
 * we embrace myth of Captain Fantastic'' - O Captain! my captain! How we in England love a good captain. How we love a man (it is almost always a man) with the mystical gift for leadership - 8th October 2010
 * top of the league? You’re ’aving a laugh'' - Is it just me or is the Ryder Cup the most pompous event in sport? - 5th October 2010
 * place for war cries in this trivial pursuit'' - Thanks to my legendary skills in investigative journalism, I managed to get a glimpse of the citation for Corey Pavin’s Medal of Honor, which he won for heroism and extreme gallantry in a terrifying international conflict that took place on Kiawah Island in 1991 - 1st October 2010
 * bog-standard reaction disappoints'' - It comes down to excrement. That’s always the way when the British turn their attention to India - 26th September 2010
 * too late for the Empire to strike back'' - An anachronism. That’s the Commonwealth Games for you - 24th September 2010
 * player is no ordinary person'' - Andrew Flintoff retires from cricket, leaving us to savour some excellent memories and also to wonder why he is more greatly beloved than his achievements merit - 21st September 2010
 * has mettle to be a five-star performer?'' - Rafael Nadal acquired his fifth star this week - 17th September 2010
 * Rooney no longer in control of fame game'' - When I was a boy-poet I swapped work with a fellow-bard of similar banality - 13th September 2010
 * songs: the official Top Ten chart'' - As Wayne Rooney, with an air of sweet inevitability, scored the opening goal for England in their European Championship qualifying… - 11th September 2010
 * Rooney ... we’re all being screwed'' - It seems that the News of the World has dedicated itself to destroying sport - 7th September 2010
 * of cricket collared by self-doubt'' - Kevin Pietersen is suffering from an inferiority complex. He keeps thinking he’s just the same as everybody else - 3rd September 2010
 * world tainted for ever'' - It’s all so bloody sad. Other words could be used: shocking, scandalous, shameful, foolish, iniquitous, but I haven’t got the heart to use them - 29th august 2010
 * versus country now a permanent fixture'' - This is the week that football admitted defeat. This is the week that football accepted the truth: that the best and most important form of the game must now be treated as second best - 31st August 2010
 * world tainted for ever'' - If you have sporting blood in your veins, or simple human compassion, sadness cannot help but dominate your response to the latest events in Pakistan cricket - 29th August 2010
 * ego has landed and delicate Kevin Pietersen can’t cope with comedown'' - This is about the most confident man in the world and how he lost his confidence - 28th August 2010
 * we must keep believing in fool’s game'' - Being paid $100 million not to watch golf looks a pretty good deal to me. I’d settle for it. But Elin Nordegren, Tiger’s ex, did not come over as a happy woman when at last she spoke out about it all - 27th August 2010
 * dose of reality in a pretend world'' - Partisanship, ties of affection and loyalty, that thrilling sense that comes from sporting involvement, when you become one of many who share a single aim, a common cause: these things can affect a judgment - 24th August 2010
 * Cook finally claims his date with Lady Luck'' - There are a million theories about how to deal with a run of bad form. The one thing you can’t do is go into denial - 21st August 2010
 * Pakistan make cricket world go round'' - Ah, Pakistan. Where would world cricket be without Pakistan? I hope we never find out - 20th August 2010
 * life without Hawk-Eye or Hot Spot'' - It was the shot heard round the world. Not seen. Not analysed in ultra slo-mo. Not finally caught up with on YouTube. It was a moment that gained its vividness not through the eye, but through the portal of the imagination - 20th August 2010
 * That’s a super idea for Montgomerie'' - How would you like to have all the world watching everything you do? - 17th August 2010
 * of the cheat can never be erased'' - It restores your faith in human nature, doesn’t it? Michael Schumacher may not be able to drive as fast as he used to, but he can still cheat - 7th August 2010
 * finally accepts that drugs don’t work'' - Modern athletics has been a tale of drugs: those who got caught, those who got away with it, individuals who tried it on, coaches who tried it on - 3rd August 2010
 * Ennis may be even better than that'' - Here’s some news about Jessica Ennis, the athlete we thought was perfect. She’s actually better than we thought - 1st August 2010
 * has last laugh on cruel and the gang'' - They have banned bullfighting in Catalonia. That’ll teach the world to think it’s anything to do with Spain - 31st July 2010
 * Ferrari, so good in scheme of things'' - If all the Formula One drivers are supposed to race as individuals, as the rules dictate, why, then, are there teams in the sport? - 30th July 2010
 * and dross: the 2010 World Cup'' - The World Cup is a busted flush. It used to be good — it used to be great — but now it isn’t - 16th July 2010
 * Fabio Capello needs international rescue'' - I feel rather proprietary and protective about Fabio Capello. After all, I started going for him earlier than most and questioned his competence at running a World Cup campaign after England’s first match at the finals rather than their fourth - 12th July 2010
 * loser wins in our joyous, united nation'' - Why are we so useless? Let’s have a huge and expensive inquiry so we can savour our woefulness - 9th July 2010
 * price of sporting love is non-refundable'' - What a great few weeks of sport. England losing in the World Cup, Murray losing in the Wimbledon semi-finals — it’s been the high spot of the sporting summer - 5th July 2010
 * at work: the world No 1 shows why he is more than just a number'' - Rafael Nadal took another flamenco-strum on the bum of his shorts, bounced the ball 137 or so times and served out the last game required of him - 5th July 2010
 * or zero? Andy Murray walks tightrope of nation’s mood swings'' - British today, Scottish tomorrow. That’s the way the world is for Andy Murray - 3rd July 2010
 * management needed to cure the LTA’s ills'' - The Lawn Tennis Association is the organisation that aimed low and missed. British tennis continues in its closed feedback loop of smugness and failure - 28th June 2010
 * logical end to a dire campaign'' - This defeat was the rigorously logical conclusion of a tournament campaign that was disastrously flawed from the beginning - 28th June 2010
 * v Germany: time to mention war'' - I have to mention the war. There is no dodging it - 28th June 2010
 * management needed to cure the LTA’s ills'' - British tennis should look to the example set by English cricket, and in particular Nasser Hussain, if they want to turn the corner - 28th June 2010
 * million reasons why Fabio Capello is to blame'' - This is the most ineptly managed England performance at the World Cup for years - 20th June 2010
 * two-horse race: England or Abroad'' - I always thought the World Cup was something to do with football. Now I discover I was hopelessly wrong. The World Cup is about England - 18th June 2010
 * Capello must stop being a flaw unto himself'' - If it was a bad night for Robert Green, it was a calamitous one for Fabio Capello. Because it wasn’t Green who lost his nerve, it was the Italian - 14th June 2010
 * treated in past by bitter pills'' - Dr Barnes gives his prescription to avoid the month-long madness of faith, hope and non-clarity, but don’t worry, it doesn’t linger - 11th June 2010
 * to pay the penalty for caring – again'' - As the World Cup campaign gets under way and Andy Murray prepares for Wimbledon it is the journey we crave not the destination - 6th June 2010
 * outweighed by cons in TV’s bigger picture'' - The views of ex-pros such as Alan Hansen, Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer are depriving fans of outsiders’ perspective - 5th June 2010
 * footballers need a touch of the Trotts'' - England always wobble against lesser teams. Germany don’t; they are efficient flat-track bullies. We should envy them - 1st June 2010
 * can bring England World Cup'' - England put together the moving parts in the machine that qualified for the World Cup, but now they need the Intangibles on their side - 28th May 2010
 * United’s patience leads to glory'' - Sir Alex Ferguson’s tenure as the longest-serving manager in Engand has been a big reason for success at Old Trafford - 24th May 2010
 * things in life lie elsewhere, eh José?'' - Simon Barnes looks forward to the Champions League final - 22nd May 2010
 * the sickbag for my big Olympic losers'' - Wenlock and Mandeville are not the only cheap gimmicks that the Games could do without. Here are ten just for starters - 21st May 2010
 * selling its soul to big market players'' - Sunday Times rich list for sport shows how the champions of business are drawn to playing fields for the money and power - 3rd May 2010
 * way? It’s via the central bifurcation'' - Strategy and tactics are the basis of any victory, but it is trust that allows a great coach to beat a great player - 30th April 2010
 * a moral victory? It’s just not cricket'' - All sports have their decencies: all sports have their moral blind spots and all sports have a duty to try to improve - 26th April 2010
 * and the best are not always the same beast'' - Barcelona have been lauded by the purists but Jose Mourinho’s tactics against them at San Siro were a work of genius - 23rd April 2010
 * problems can lead to World Cup glory'' - Former England captain’s disastrous recent past does not have to spell the end of England’s hopes in South Africa - 19th April 2010
 * paying the price for greed'' - They took football for granted in pursuit of vast revenues for pop concerts. Now they are left with a shocking pitch - 16th April 2010
 * odyssey ends in fairytale fashion'' - This year, the Grand National was an enactment of The Quest, and the race retold one of the great stories of mankind - 12th April 2010
 * Sir Alex Ferguson: a) absurd, b) pathetic or c) right?'' - the Manchester United manager is absurd and pathetic with his consistent verbal attacks on referees - 10th April 2010
 * and Cambridge in the same boat'' - When a team or individual succeeds in winning from a losing position, it is more than a triumph of sporting discipline - 5th April 2010
 * Race shows sport is not always about money'' - Oxford and Cambridge will prove that there is more to life than getting paid when they battle each other on the Thames - 3rd April 2010
 * rejoicing replaces Rooney Anxiety, with injury almost good news'' - About 1.5 million Britons go to hospital with a sprained ankle every year and Wayne Rooney is just one more - 1st April 2010
 * leads along well-worn path'' - The West Ham manager has quickly been branded a failure in a country where careers are destroyed before they have begun - 29th March 2010
 * must get used to life in the farce lane' - The world's greatest golfer has shown himself to be human and may struggle to regain his air of invincibility - 27th March 2010
 * was truly the voice of his sport'' - The boxing commentator Harry Carpenter was one of the last of the apostles that brought televised sport to the masses - 25th March 2010
 * canvas is all the better for its artistry'' - The quest for beauty has to exist in the modern-day arena alongside the more prosaic pursuit of victories and points - 22nd March 2010
 * Star misses out on greatness'' - It is the fate of dreamers to be disappointed. But it’s not the memory of glory that keeps racing going, it’s tomorrow - 20th March 2010
 * Beckham and Wilkinson saved the world'' - One is crocked, the other dropped. For two national heroes it has been a bad week, but places in history are assured - 19th March 2010
 * gesture will not worry the Glazers'' - The Manchester United owners will continue to make money no matter the colour of the scarves at Old Trafford - 12th March 2010
 * and the curse of the captaincy'' - Struggling batsman not the first to find out that leading the country is the certain way to wreck a great career - 8th March 2010
 * Alexander and stress that keeps us alive'' - ‘Sport supplies our need for uncertainty, for something a little wilder than ordinary life can provide’ - 5th March 2010
 * maybe only a genius can answer'' - Does Tiger Woods owe it to his public to be an implacable victory machine? Or does he have a higher duty to his family - 1st March 2010
 * done, Canada, you Own The Odium'' - the host nation's expensive campaign to dominate Winter Olympics deserves gold medal for disastrous PR - 26th February 2010
 * can forgive Woods – but not that shirt'' - The golfer has taken the first of the 12 steps that might eventually cure his addiction. We can only wish him well - 23rd February 2010
 * and the relaunching of a brand'' - The golfer does not plan to give anything away when he returns to the public eye. Instead, he wants everthing back - 19th February 2010
 * game is no way to honour lost life'' - The only way to avoid death in sport altogether is to ban all dangerous sports, but the human spirit won’t accept that - 15th February 2010
 * drops timely reminder of his class'' - Even on a terrible afternoon, the fly half showed us something special: he showed us even a bad game doesn’t daunt him - 15th February 2010
 * welcome to fun of the Winter Olympics'' - Every four years the world sits back and enjoys an exhibition of utter silliness that reflects the true origins of sport - 13th February 2010
 * happy to accept gifts from Wales'' - By punishing the largesse of their rivals at Twickenham, Martin Johnson’s team showed a ruthlessness that was not in character - 8th February 2010
 * zones can lead to greatness too'' - History has shown us that when an athlete loses control of private life then public life — sport — tends to follow - 5th February 2010
 * Federer go on and do calendar grand slam?'' - Swiss lands Australian Open, his sixteenth grand-slam, but could he now follow Rod Laver in history books? - 2nd February 2010
 * shows heroism but service goes missing'' - The Scot’s attempt to avoid making mistakes against the undisputed god of tennis was an error in itself - 1st February 2010
 * of a champion in the making'' - Sport is supposed to reveal character, but in a teenager like Laura Robson, sport necessarily reveals contradictions - 1st February 2010
 * Andy Murray rise from upstart to champion?'' - 29th January 2010
 * and rugby at forefront of changing moral code'' - Laws of all the big-time sports are having to be rewritten because the players are no longer intent on abiding by them - 25th January 2010
 * demonstrated why revenge is sweet'' - The striker’s goals for Manchester City against United, his former club, in the Carling Cup were borne out of vengeance - 22nd January 2010
 * fiasco was one man’s blundering'' - The review system was introduced to get rid of the howlers. What it has done is expose one big one — Daryl Harper - 17th January 2010
 * decline and fall of the Red Empire'' - All dominant forces eventually meet their match and the once-proud Anfield club should not think they are different - 16th January 2010
 * was off message but right on the money'' - Verbal attacks from football fans bring out the Eric Cantona in everyone who has to deal with them. Now someone answers back - 12th January 2010
 * not cricket to always blame bowlers'' - No sport does moral outrage quite as comprehensively as cricket and all the great scandals come down to the crimes of bowlers - 11th January 2010
 * help to uphold primacy of Test cricket'' - Twenty20 and one-day matches may be future for philistines, but series against South Africa proves five-day game reigns supreme - 8th January 2010
 * Brendan Venter the rugby rules fiasco whistleblower'' - The Saracens director of rugby has exposed a fundamental problem with the game: that referees have power without responsibility - 4th January 2010
 * opening gates to sport’s graveyard'' - The year’s three landmark sporting scandals were not crimes of passion but organised, cold-blooded, and premeditated - 28th December 2009
 * numbers — centuries, heroes and zeroes of the sporting year 2009'' - It was a year to remember for England’s cricketers, sporting mothers and pie-loving Chinese snooker players - 23rd December 2009
 * drags sport’s secret out of closet'' - Most capped player in Welsh rugby deserves praise for courage in coming out, even if it is troubling that courage was necessary - 21st December 2009
 * sporting highlights of 2009 to cheer the soul'' - Forget cheats and scandals, writes Simon Barnes, the year has contained more than enough drama and excellence to celebrate - 18th December 2009
 * Woods's giant footsteps will prove impossible to fill'' - 14th December 2009
 * Personality is game of trivial pursuits'' - The nature of the award may have changed, but our choice still says more about us than it does about the winner - 11th December 2009
 * Africa states case in black and white'' - Non-white players now play as a matter of course, and somehow the team hasn’t foundered on the rock of politics - 11th December 2009
 * stars sworn to the Hypocrisy Oath'' - Athletes are rarely put on the spot by the media in the modern age and even more of a rarity is a straightforward honest answer - 4th December 2009
 * And there goes Tiger Woods’s image...'' - How a hydrant, a tree and a wife helped to reveal that the world’s greatest golfer is human after all - 30th November 2009
 * Federer sees value of male order'' - Whether we like it or not sport — and particularly among men — is governed by hierarchical lists. Being No1 really does matter - 27th November 2009
 * Murray and Roger Federer are in harmony — for a while, anyway'' - From the first point, which lasted 23 strokes, a series of prolonged exchanges marked the latest meeting of Federer and Murray - 25th November 2009
 * referees must start playing to the camera'' - 23rd November 2009
 * rugby's snobbery drove sweet chariot into the ditch'' - 23rd November 2009
 * in a name? Lord’s may yet find out'' - 20th November 2009
 * Wayne Rooney’s devilment ever come back?'' - The anonymous display from the first-time England captain was a far cry from the the player who made the world afraid - 16th November 2009
 * these Martin Johnson's final days as a Living National Treasure?'' - 13th November 2009
 * lines appear in the sainted Johnson'' - The World Cup-winning captain's management of the England team has been sans success. But who dares to tell him so? - 9th November 2009
 * is back in an England rugby shirt at last'' - Few sportsmen have suffered such a catalogue of injuries, and even fewer have managed to keep the faith in the way that he has - 5th November
 * with image stains sport’s soul'' - In sport, the moral code is set increasingly by the values of marketing. Moral judgements are making way for financial ones - 4th November
 * uncertainty is sport’s trump card'' - Not knowing what is going to happen next is a quality that sport has abover all other forms of active involvement - 30th October
 * brings flair back into fashion'' - Simon Barnes praises Briton for having the air of a real champion - 26th October
 * time: ten the BNP can’t answer'' - 23rd October
 * do better in the way we judge our stars'' - Sometimes a British athlete loses because he or she simply is not good enough. It is not a moral failure - 19th October 2009
 * Capello’s schoolboys pass their finals?'' - Capello's squad lack the devil of their manager - 16th October 2009
 * will be richer without a few dollars more'' - The IOC deserves credit for its decision on the 2016 Olympics: that is, the decision not to to given them to Chicago - 6th October 2009
 * football last with money as its goal?'' - The sport has become part of the entertainment business but can it survive outside of its traditional heartland? - 2nd October 2009
 * Henin’s comeback is no tough ask'' - The return to tennis of the former world No 1 has every chance of being successful, as many of those by other sportswomen have proved - 28th September 2009
 * and Crashgate: our guilt in crime without punishment'' - McLaren Mercedes were fined $100m for cribbing last year, so how can Renault get off scot free for their act of cheating? - 25th September 2009
 * Friends, think Fawlty Towers'' - Sports administrators, in their pursuit of money, have placed quantity above quality in their list of priorities - 21st September 2009
 * official: honour is consigned to history'' - No amount of extra officials and technology may be enough to keep pace with those intent on breaking the rules - 18th September 2009
 * international cricket has been rendered a crashing bore'' - The players have shown an unfailing ability to crack the code of the format and have come up with a non-aggression pact = 16th September 2009
 * Van Man nation to be driven insane'' - Our gloating tends to be ugly, but our tendency to gallows humour can be an elegant way of dealing with dismay - 14th September 2009
 * remain in fantasy football land'' - Football is the one area in which the supremacy of our nation is taken for granted and we are expected to win everything - 8th September 2009
 * small people saddled with big issues'' - The list of troubled souls in bright shirts seems to be never ending - 6th September 2009
 * deal more to Flintoff than statistics'' - Playing the numbers games distorts our view when it comes to assessing the impact of the England all-rounder in Test cricket - 31st August 2009
 * a bully to make the blood run cold'' - Three-year ban not enough for former Harlequins director of rugby who abused his position with extremes of intimidation - 27th August 2009
 * Caster Semenya felled by man-made barrier'' - 26th August 2009
 * for fears as defeatists get chance to rejoice'' - Despite the statistics and history counting in their favour, the final day of the Ashes was one of dread for England fans - 25th August 2009
 * Broad celebrates his greatest hits'' - All-rounder with the boy band looks shows that there is hope for England once Andrew Flintoff rides off into the sunset - 25th August 2009
 * men turn Turkey into Turf Moor'' - As the new season gets under way, Simon Barnes discovers that football has much to teach us about life itself - 21st August 2009
 * Ennis: the power and the glory first'' - The world champion heptathlete has exalted the nation and brought us joy in the whole business of being alive - 17th August 2009
 * is at the heart of Wenger’s code'' - By rejecting Real, the Frenchman has effectively said he would sooner lose with the right team than win with the wrong one - 17th August 2009
 * drama overrides flaws in Ashes quality'' - England and Australia have failed to match the sustained excellence of 2005 but the series is equally as compelling - 7th August 2009
 * ambition swimming’s strongest suit'' - Governing body deserves accolades for standing firm in the face of commercial pressures that were ruining the sport - 4th August 2009
 * and Australia go in search of Ashes aura'' - Andrew Strauss says that Ricky Ponting's side do not have it - the special quality that transcends mere excellence - 1st August 2009
 * Ponting condemned by own actions'' - Australia captain lays himself open to hypocrisy charge at Lord's after accusations levelled against England the week before - 20th July 2009
 * cricket: an endangered species worth protecting'' - Even if you prefer Twenty20, you can’t deny that longer form of the game is more complex, rich and profound - 17th July 2009
 * men fail acid test to beguile us all'' - Stephen Harmison has given a name to the greatest malaise in modern cricket: the Chief Executive’s Wicket - 13th July 2009
 * and Australia bound by competition'' - Rivalry between the two Ashes nations is based less on mutual dislike than a need to draw on each other's strengths - 10th July 2009
 * lead Ashes series by two gods to one'' - Beginning of a new aura beckons for the nation with Andrew Flintoff and Kevin Pietersen at the forefront of the Name game - 6th July 2009
 * refuses to blink in fight to finish'' - While Andy Roddick showed he wanted the WImbledon title as much as his opponent, it was the Swiss who held his nerve - 6th July 2009
 * Murray: easy to admire, but can we learn to love him?'' - The Scot has turned himself into a machine for victory; not one designed to garner affection at Wimbledon - 3rd July 2009
 * Murray is in a different class'' - Andy Murray may have taken over Tim Henman's British No1 position, but not his predecessor's appetite for the dramatic - 2nd July 2009
 * Villiers should be banned for defending Burger'' - I have never heard a more wilfully stupid remark than the South Africa coach's defence of his player - 29th June 2009
 * proves nice guys can finish first'' - Sport is a ruthless business but it can be played with decency - 26th June 2009
 * Murray overcomes nervous start to progress'' - The new, mature world No 2-ranked contender was strangely uncertain during his first-round victory over Robert Kendrick - 24th June 2009
 * joy for Pakistan and Sri Lanka'' - The triviality of sport has been able to offer much appreciated consolation to nations beset by more serious issues - 22nd June 2009
 * the quiet revolution, a TV spectacular'' - The rules of the game are changing throughout sport - for better or worse - to increase the drama for the armchair viewer - 21st June 2009
 * runs up, he leaps skyward, he scores'' - Even sports writers understand the idea of cliché, even if we don’t always use the concept as negative guidance - 20th June 2009
 * At the Olympics? Just say no ...'' - inclusion at the Games would be like blasphemy - 15th June 2009
 * one-man show finds perfect stage'' - Player who brought us brilliance and vanity in equal measure can be indulged and idolised to his heart's content in Madrid - 12th June 2009
 * that fun-size piece of the action'' - The allure of sport is not entirely about the winning but in deeply fulfilling basic physical actions - 8th June 2009
 * greatest ensures statistics back up artistry'' - Now Roger Federer has secured his place in history, a new exciting period can begin as he strives for grand slam No 15 - 7th June 2009
 * wages obscene? That's rich'' - We put players' earnings into the same category as pornography but it is only our envy talking - 6th June 2009
 * French chance too good to miss'' - Fall of main rivals at Roland Garros gives Swiss chance to rewrite record books at French Open with fourteenth grand-slam title - 5th June 2009
 * unfashionable truth about success'' - Whatever the issues about mental toughness, the cup final victories for Chelsea and Barcelona were more to do with talent - 1st June 2009
 * wiser but will Ponting be stronger?'' - Memories of that summer will become raw again for the Australia captain after touching down with his men of mystery - 29th May 2009
 * are victims of a lack of leadership'' - The notion that the Londoners were murdered by the referee must be thrown out of court: the correct verdict is suicide - 11th May 2009
 * will not be quaking in their boots'' - England should not get too carried away ahead off the Ashes after beating an inept West Indies side in home opener - 9th May 2009
 * an alien concept to football'' - events at Stamford Bridge were inevitable because players and managers need someone to blame - 9th May 2009
 * Onions makes a name for himself'' - the bowler's five-fer provides dream scenario for England selectors, the captain - and headline writers - 8th May 2009
 * an alien concept to football'' - Events at Stamford Bridge were inevitable because players and managers need someone to blame for their own failings - 8th May 2009 (see: Were Chelsea's protests justified or an absolute disgrace?)
 * you’re history now, I’m sad to say'' - Stephen Harmison always tried to try his best, but his best just seemed to happen less and less often - 5th May 2009
 * Button finds star is on ascendant at last'' - All those who said the Brawn driver was a second-rater have been shown to be wrong: this is something worth celebrating - 1st May 2009
 * talks - that's the Wembley way'' - What was the point of building the new stadium if sporting excellence was never going to come first - 27th April 2009
 * day for soggy English stoicism'' - Life may now go on untroubled at Centre Court, but the loss of the Wimbledon rain delay is a sad end to a long tradition - 22nd April 2009
 * and the beautiful game'' - The world champion is just the latest in a line of snooker geniuses who are more artist than athlete - 21st April 2009
 * driven by the audacity of mope'' - With Cristiano Ronaldo, you realise at once that a person can be great and at the same time insufferable - 17th April 2009
 * brew that always offers plenty of fizz'' - As winter games give way to summer ones, what proves addictive in sport is not victory but anticipation - 14th April 2009
 * of the sexes, Vive la difference'' - Claire Taylor becomes the first woman to receive the honour of a Wisden Cricketer of the Year since it started in 1864 - 10th April 2009
 * Boat Race: a joyous celebration of pain'' - The agony is extreme, the reward zero: and that's just for the winners - 27th March 2009
 * losing it? It’s a cracking theory'' - Trauma, drama, excitement, insecurity, fear, trouble and strife are all just methods for the Manchester United manager - 23rd March 2009
 * formula ignores bigger picture'' - Formula One’s brutal simplification is not without its merits, but sport is never as straightforward as it pretends to be - 20th March 2009
 * triumph swells anti-United agenda'' - Sporting rivalry is one thing, but it seems that football fans cannot support their club without deciding to hate another - 16th March 2009
 * 007s want more than quantum of solace'' - All it took was a few seconds of excellence at the start to break a cycle of despair at Twickenham - 16th March 2009
 * Festival: it's all about the horses'' - You can have your pints and punts, but the enduring creatures who race still provide the main enchantment and entertainment - 15th March 2009
 * to kick our unhealthy drug obsession'' - We must start to concentrate on the good deeds done in track-and-field athletics rather than the cheats - 10th March 2009
 * terrorists waging a jihad against joy'' - Sport stands for truth, beauty, youth, hope, unity and talent — the gunmen in Lahore have declared war on all these things - 6th March 2009
 * proves sport is a soft target and ripe for terror'' - Sport has for decades been the ideal target for terrorism, but until today, with one great exception, it has been granted a strange immunity - 4th March 2009
 * are cheats, incompetent cheats'' - The England rugby union team do not have a discipline problem. They have a cheating problem - 2nd March 2009
 * Flintoff's sacrifice deserves praise'' - 27th February 2009
 * versus Ali: not even a close shave'' - Boxer showed the disadvantaged that they can shape their own destinies, the golfer that he can endorse American Express - 23rd February 2009
 * debacle confirms sport is a whore'' - Once making money replaced the pursuit of excellence as the prime motivator, there could be no turning back - 20th February 2009
 * on the bus after wheels fell off'' - Past success has served to destroy England teams for generations - 16th February 2009
 * new dawns . . . few brighter days'' - Sport has always been prone to relaunches. And, like the No 49 bus, we have been presented with three of them at once - 13th February 2009
 * next for the Dirty Harry sacking club? Feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?'' - It appears that some clubs appoint managers - and good managers at that - for the simple pleasure of sacking them - 10th February 2009
 * viewed as birthright by the English'' - Arrogance and complacency are ruining teams - 9th February 2009
 * passes test with England'' - Deposed captain shares capacity for seizing the moment with other sporting greats such as Wilkinson, Redgrave and Bolt - 6th February 2009
 * situation over Andrew Flintoff'' - If England want to prove that they are a top-level side, they will have to beat the West Indies with a degree of comfort - 2nd February 2009
 * in Manchester United is beauty to Sir Alex Ferguson'' - 30th January 2009
 * City offer comedy value'' - 26th January 2009
 * perfect weekend'' - The Times columnist hopes for a new terror from the Caribbean, big clubs getting serious and Andy Murray getting a fright - 24th January 2009
 * Murray: older, wiser, fitter, better'' - No longer a stroppy teenager, the British No1 goes into the Australian Open with an old head on broad shoulders - 19th January 2009
 * Pietersen and Cristiano Ronaldo: a love story'' - We can but admire two of the world's finest sportsmen. But not quite as much as they undoubtedly admire themselves... - 17th January 2009
 * get a bang for their buck'' - When big spenders splash the cash on football, it's usually clever business not mere extravagance - 15th January 2009
 * Pietersen: sacked for being Kevin Pietersen'' - It seems that people simply decided that, after all, he was the wrong sort of chap - 12th January 2009
 * cricket conspires Pietersen'' - The former England captain makes his living in a sport that is like no other when it comes to Machiavellian intrigue - 9th January 2009
 * oblivious as chaos surrounds him'' - Kevin Pietersen and Geoff Boycott share a strange bewilderment that other people fail to see the world in the same terms - 8th January 2009
 * Pietersen raging to good intent'' - Must England sack Peter Moores to regain the Ashes? - 5th January 2009
 * dynasty episode ends in farce'' - it was not England in disguise. It was one more unmistakable symptom of the decline and fall of the Australian Empire - 2nd January 2009
 * defeat in India a victory of sorts'' - By deciding to go, then by playing as they did, the national cricket team did themselves and the sport a great service - 29th December 2008
 * heroes and zeroes of an extraordinary year'' - 2008 in numbers: 78.9 - the percentage of Olympic gold medals won by Great Britain in Beijing while sitting down - 29th December 2008
 * footballers break down language barriers'' - It's easy to mock footballers mangling a different tongue, but they help us to break down the barriers of all things foreign - 23rd December 2008
 * Test defeat no excuse for gloating'' - With an Ashes summer looming, England's cricket supporters would do well not read too much into a national humiliation - 22nd December 2008
 * exit shows sport’s true worth'' - Sport has for years been sashaying across the world, playing off one admirer against another, utterly confident that there was always plenty more where that came from. Now, with shocking suddenness, everything has changed - 19th December 2008
 * England embody spirit of Henman'' - Kevin Pietersen's team won many admirers for returning to India but there is something familiar about their capitulation - 16th December 2008
 * is the best response to terrorism'' - In India, sport's very triviality is today a matter of importance - 12th December 2008
 * Keane's judgment proved wrong again'' - 8th December 2008
 * must go on and we are richer for it'' - There will be outrage in some quarters at the spending for London 2012 but it makes little difference to war and roads - 5th December 2008
 * have a duty to India - and themselves'' - Players who represent their countries have an unwritten contract to inspire us and defy the terrorists - 1st December 2008
 * are exposed and get what they deserve'' - Martin Johnson's men show they are as far off the pace of elite international rugby as they are from Alpha Centauri - 28th November 2008
 * steeled for All Blacks humiliation'' - Martin Johnson's team are set to follow in the bootsteps of their cricket and football counterparts at Twickenham - 28th November 2008
 * to open new chapter after retiring'' - Former Middlesex captain and England batsman calls time on a career that has made him an expert on both good and bad luck - 26th November 2008
 * puts the cool into goalkeeping'' - Playground culture could change beyond all recognition if Manchester City decide to break the bank for Italy player - 24th November 2008
 * charge sheet growing'' - Fly half provides another gift for grateful South African opponents after scoring rugby union's equivalent of an own goal - 24th November 2008
 * preaching to the newly converted'' - the Italian is benefitting from the habit of viewing the England manager as either a genius or a failure - 21st November 2008
 * the whistle on football's blame game'' - 18th November 2008
 * scored - but is sport better than sex?'' - There is clearly some kind of overlap between making love and achieving the ultimate on the field of play - 14th November 2008
 * of excellence running on empty'' - Test series played out to an eerie silence raises questions about where the future of cricket should lie - 10th November 2008
 * Jesse Owens to Barack Obama, via Muhammad Ali and Tiger Woods'' - 7th November 2008
 * shot cheapens the appeal of cricket'' - England's $20million match against the Stanford Superstars is about as noble a spectacle as pornography - 27th October 2008
 * when you're winning fight against racism'' - 24th October 2008
 * be silly or sensible: Lewis Hamilton's dilemma'' - 20th October 2008
 * tell only half the story'' - Apparently England were rubbish. A 5-1 win is an unlikely result to produce a round of tooth-sucking and head-wagging - 13th October 2008
 * suggests Plucky Brit can be slain'' - Cyclist's winning mentality brings hope of an end to abject failure following hard on heels of brief success in British sport - 30th September 2008
 * to the Wise... you've got the best job in football'' - 29th September 2008
 * the United States cannot capture team spirit'' - 23rd September 2008
 * the buyer beware fans's fervour'' - Football people want football to be what it used to be, something that represents not the owner but the community from which it springs - 15th September 2008
 * tells us to beware those bearing gifts'' - Like turtles, not all young talent in sport is successful in reaching the elusive ocean of fulfilment and achievement - 12th September 2008
 * the stuffing out of the nice British'' - The ferocious Scot, Andy Murray, is driven by a belly full of fire, and anybody who doesn’t like it can get stuffed - 9th September 2008
 * hail the thinking man's swashbuckler'' - The England captain's collective approach has reaped rewards against South Africa but there are tougher tests to come - 7th September 2008
 * City: an accident waiting to happen'' - The new breed of football club owners should be aware that the richer they are, the more foolish they will appear - 5th September 2008
 * can’t city folk feel horsey love?'' - Horsiness is not about social class. Horsiness exists for itself alone - 4th September 2008
 * change is not always for the better'' - Rugby union's attempt at reaching out to a wider audience could have ramifications in the sport's traditional heartland - 1st September 2008
 * Pietersen can ease my return to reality'' - 29th August 2008
 * stop London with a light heart as bus arrives on time at Beijing ceremony'' - 25th August 2008
 * – we’ve got the beating of Beijing'' - 23rd August 2008
 * cool youngsters emerge'' - China may not have intended it, but the Games are speeding up the pace of social change - 21st August 2008
 * will the Olympics ever do for us?'' - The costs are huge and a spell under the international spotlight can be uncomfortable - 19th August 2008
 * and bad, winners and losers - the Olympics need them all'' - Rumours of the death of the Games remain exaggerated. That's because we find disgrace just as compelling as triumph - 14th August 2008
 * Games: now that's what I call real biodiversity'' - There are giants and midgets, ogres and pixies, fighters and fleers. Diversity is what makes the Games so extraordinary - 12th August 2008

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The Times:
Column name: Wild Notebook

Remit/Info: Birdwatching

Section: Weekend

Role: Columnist

Pen-name:

Email: [mailto:simon.barnes@thetimes.co.uk simon.barnes@thetimes.co.uk]

Website: http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/public/profile/Simon-Barnes

Commissioning editor:

Day published: Saturday

Regularity: Weekly

Column format:

Average length: 730 words



Articles:

 * Now my hobby will count for something - Wild Notebook: if we want to conserve the wild world, knowledge will tell us where and how best to direct our efforts - 29th June 2013
 * [Wild Notebook: if we want to conserve the wild world, knowledge will tell us where and how best to direct our efforts An awesome game of tag with a trainee killer] - Wild Notebook: A close encounter of the bird kind - 22nd June 2013


 * A northern nightingale sang on my platform - ... and travellers’ lives were minutely enhanced - 30th June 2012
 * Oh, for a muse of firecrest to complete my wish list - Which bird is top of your wish list? A hard question, because the answer reveals precisely what kind of birder you are - 23rd June 2012
 * So we had a porpoiseless journey, with good reason - keep an eyes on dolphins and porpoises. The Government isn’t - 16th June
 * A life less ordinary: my friend and guide, Bob - Most people thought Bob was more than a little mad but I’d have faced an angry lion with him - 2nd June
 * Our wildlife trusts are something to sing about - In April 1912 what has famously been described as the world’s largest metaphor struck an iceberg and a symbol of man’s hubris sank - 26th May
 * Happy days – but was it birdsong or Beefheart? - 19th May 2012
 * Hen harrier extinction: looks bad on the old CV - People have been working towards this coldly and deliberately - 12th May 2012
 * There’s a breathless hush on the marsh today - 5th May 2012
 * The swift’s summer hols are already a washout - 28th April 2012
 * A big red English deer – and right in front of me - 28th April 2012
 * The miracle of the cuckoo is in danger - 21st April 2012
 * When you can’t see the birds for the woods - 21st April 2012
 * Nothing is sad about singing these blues - 14th April 2012
 * Sparing the pain in stable relationships - 13th April 2012
 * We’ve saved the special. Now for the ordinary - Devastation and rebirth walk hand in hand through England’s country lanes - 7th April 2012
 * Hares signal Easter and the spring - 7th April 2012
 * Our children need to take a walk on the wild side - 31st March 2012
 * This Ozzy (Osborne) has no song in his soul - 24th March 2012


 * First song of skylark heralds spring - 7th March 2009
 *  Whales are the wet, sad teddies of the sea - We have a curious attitude to the monsters of the deep - 3rd March 2009
 * Green plovers' eggs are off the menu - Wild Notebook: lapwings are a part of history but they are not often seen now - 28th February 2009
 * Is killing birds just a part of another culture? - 21st February 2009
 * Ah, the joys of having a beetle in your mouth - Darwin realised the importance of invertebrates - 14th February 2009
 * Delicate splashes of purity deep in the snow - What is natural and what isn't? We haven't explored this enough - 7th February 2009
 * Let's talk sense about our origins - Any time someone discusses evolution without speaking nonsense, it is a triumph of the human spirit - 31st January 2009
 * Flying fancies and diving hopes - 24th January 2009
 * Bleak for us but balmy for the bunting - near and far - the magic of looking at birds - 17th January 2009
 * Survival and sport on the frozen earth - the cold snap in perspective; why frozen water is a problem for so many birds - 10th January 2009
 * Spring is sneaking up while your back is turned - a seasonal conflict... plus rare sightings of red deer and bullfinches - 3rd January 2009

archive



News & updates:


References:


Links:

 * http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simon_Barnes